Chapter 4 Heavy Burdens

Matt slowly opened his eyes to the new day. His mind immediately thought of Ruth, and he turned to his side. She sat awake to his relief. He, however, noticed the lifeless look on her face. Her eyes partially closed as she stared into space.

Ruth turned her head to the little sounds Matt made as he sat up. She took one look at him and faced away again. Her warm and captivating smile was unavailable for Matt that morning. His heart sank as he stressed about what she was thinking about. Matt held her hand, and she looked at him once more. She was about to turn away when he cupped her face in place.

"Ruth, what is wrong?" he asked her, the desperation in his voice painfully clear.

"I am just a little tired." she weakly replied with no emotion.

Matt scooted closer to her. Her gray eyes were dull. They exposed the sadness she tried ever so hard to hide. She was even paler without her makeup.

Matt tucked Ruth's hair behind her ear while her gaze was down. "I know that you are a strong woman but this burden is too heavy for you to carry alone. I am here for you and I always will be." he softly said to her.

"I love you, Matthew." the emotion behind her voice was so heart moving that her misty eyes were the physical evidence of it.

Ruth turned her whole body to Matt. She took his hand with both hands. Matt furrowed and lowered his chin when Ruth’s tears fell. She faced down and cried deeply. Matt hugged her tight and listened to her sobs.

"Please, don't leave me alone, Matt. I'm afraid that I will never see you again if you do." Ruth pleaded with a sniffle.

"You will never be able to get rid of me. I'll stand by you until I breathe my last." Matt poured his heart out.

He blinked his moist eyes repeatedly to stop himself from crying. He needed to be strong for Ruth.

Ruth sniffed and gently pulled away from Matt. "Is it okay if we can just stay in my room all day? My mom won't mind sending maids to bring our food up here."

"That's okay with me and besides, I think your father will appreciate that too." Matt snorted and Ruth finally smiled at him.

****

Eugene sat reading his paper in the living room. He heard the doorbell but didn't bother to check. Not even the soft sound of shoes hitting the wooden floor pricked his curiosity. Muriel's gentle laugh followed, but he turned a page uninterested.

"I trust that it is exactly what I ordered." he heard her say.

"Yes, we baked the cake as per your instructions." a cheerful man's voice replied.

"Cake?" Eugene bent the newspaper with two fingers and looked at Muriel through his spectacles.

"Thank you once again." Muriel happily said and closed the door.

She turned around to Eugene's stunned look. He pointed at the cake, and she protectively held onto it. Muriel averted her eyes from his and waited for him to say something. Eugene took off his glasses and took a few steps forward with his lips parted.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked her in almost a whisper and stole a glance up the stairs.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Muriel impatiently asked back.

"You know that she doesn't like this." Eugene’s harsh voice reminded.

"This year is going to be different." Muriel confidently replied and took off to the kitchen leaving Eugene grumbling to himself.

****

The hours of the day went by slowly. They were so long that Matt almost didn't believe that it was finally nighttime. When he agreed to spend the whole day in Ruth's room, he didn't think that they would literally be in there all day. He thought that at some point during the day, she would have wanted to go out and perhaps rode a horse. She always loved horses.

Matt avoided talking about Ruth's birthday for the sake of her peace. He assumed that she avoided her family because she didn't want them to pressure her into celebrating it. Matt on the other hand, really wanted to spend some time with them.

Another day had gone by without him getting any answers and it left him feeling restless. He was, however, still optimistic. The watch on his phone indicated that it was only 6:45 p.m. That meant that he still had time. All he had to do was to get Ruth to leave her room.

"Babe," he gently called out to her. "Don't you think that it will be better to have dinner with everyone else?"

Ruth peeled her dull eyes off the TV and stared blankly at Matt. "What's wrong with eating here?" she asked him back with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Nothing, I just think that we should have dinner downstairs with everyone. Your family must be worried about you especially considering the seizure you had last night."

"I am fine." Ruth changed the channel.

"Yes, but they don't know that. Come on, let's go." Matt urged on.

Ruth tucked her lips in thought. "Okay," she finally agreed to his relief. "Just don't leave me alone."

Matt noted the fear in her tone of voice at the word ‘alone’. He thought back to what she had said earlier about not seeing her again if he left her alone. Matt couldn’t help but wonder why Ruth was so afraid.

"Don't worry, everything is going to be okay." Matt gave Ruth's hand a soft squeeze and an assuring smile.

Ruth, on the other hand, maintained her blank expression. She tucked her hair behind her ear and got up to leave. All the while, Matt kept on observing her depressing condition.

'Ruth, what are you hiding from me?' He internally stressed.

****

Muriel couldn't hide her joy at the sight of Matt and Ruth going down the stairs. She unfortunately wiped the smile off her face at Ruth’s gloominess.

Muriel shot a concerned look at Eugene but to her disappointment, he showed indifference. Talia on the other hand displayed genuine concern for her sister. She smiled at Ruth and was rewarded with a faint grin.

"How are you feeling now?" Muriel asked Ruth as soon as she was down.

"Better," Ruth simply replied and Muriel took the hint.

"Okay, why don't we all head on out to the dining room?" Muriel feigned a convincing smile.

William was the last one to the table. Like the previous night, awkwardness filled the air. Ruth caught Talia looking at her concerned, and she grinned slightly at her. William observed his sisters communicating with their eyes and carried on eating. As he cut his steak, Matt took notice of a fresh wound on his hand.

Oblivious to Matt, Muriel and Eugene saw it too. Eugene's face turned red with anger. He opened his mouth to scold William but stopped when he felt a force press down against his foot.

His stern eyes collided with Muriel's glare. She pressed her foot harder. Eugene angrily took a swig of his glass. No one at the table noticed what had happened. William pulled his sleeve up—hiding his wound completely.

So, he self-harms as well. Matt internally commented.

When dinner was finally over, Muriel clapped her hands in excitement. "Who is ready for dessert?" she mirthfully asked everyone. "I know I am." she continued with a smile before anyone answered. "Please, excuse me."

The uncomfortable silence at the table worsened with every minute that went by. To Matt's relief, he heard Muriel coming up from behind him. When she was finally in sight, eyes stretched at the candle lit birthday cake in her hands.

Talia and William immediately turned to Ruth and observed her scowl. Matt's hold on her hand was the only thing keeping her from getting up to leave.

"What is this, mom?" Ruth asked, trying her best not to raise her voice.

"Honey, it is your birthday cake." Muriel answered and set the cake on the table.

"You know how I feel about this." Ruth's breathing increased.

"Babe, calm down. Your mother just wants to celebrate your birthday." Matt tried to reason with her.

"What's there to celebrate? Mm, tell me? Speak up." Ruth diverted her frustration to Matt.

"Ruth, it's your 24th birthday. We haven't celebrated your birthday since you were 10." Muriel went to Matt's aid.

"Why should I celebrate a day that brings me nothing but pain and constant torment?!" Ruth finally raised her voice.

The mansion suddenly blacked out. Ruth screamed and Matt rushed to hold her. The only things that illuminated the room were the candles on the cake. Eugene raised his eyebrows at Ruth shaking like a leaf in Matt's arms. He fired a glare at Muriel and gritted his teeth.

"I told you that this was a stupid idea. Look at her!" he furiously pointed to Ruth.

"I was just... I thought that -" Muriel covered her mouth and a tear escaped her eye. "Oh my God."

William frowned at Muriel and then scowled at Eugene. "Why do you always pick on her? She is just trying to be a mother." he angrily rebuked him.

"And that's why all of you are a disgrace." Eugene retorted. "Don't tempt me to say much more because you might just kill yourself tonight instead of cutting."

William pushed his plate away and furiously got up, "This is exactly why I didn't want to come down here."

Matt raised his hands up in surrender. "Please, why don't we all calm down?" he voiced out. "I can see some light from the neighbors. This means that a fuse must have blown. If you let me, I can get the power back on."

"Yes, you are right." Muriel wiped her tears with a smile. "William, go with him down to the basement."

Matt stood up to leave but Ruth desperately held onto his hand. "Don't leave me. Remember, you said that you wouldn't." she vigorously shook her head in fear.

Matt held the sides of her face and kissed her on her forehead. "Don't worry, I will be back soon. Your parents and sister are here with you. Stay with them, okay?"

"Matt please," Ruth squeezed his hand with misty eyes.

"It's okay, everything is going to be all right. I'll be back." Matt insisted.

"No,"

Muriel took the chair behind Ruth and held her shoulder. "Ruth, let him go. He will be back soon. I'll sit here with you until he comes back."

Ruth realized that she wasn't going to have her way and so with a painful heart, she let go of Matt. She helplessly watched him leave with William. Muriel's comforting hold on her shoulder did not lift her spirit.