Chapter Forty One

Chapter Forty One- Two Devils, Twice The Temptation, Twice The Desire Part One

I felt like the night was not over yet. Maybe it was the seeping moisture and the throbbing between my legs making me crave a more satisfying end to an eventful night.

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I checked over my shoulder again and there was no one remaining in sight.

Much to my relief. This night had been too eventful and I needed to ensure that it ends on a less dramatic note. A lot of the moments replayed in my mind as I took a slow ascend languidly, finally being able to relax. I realised that I had analyzed the moments more than I thought I had, seeing as I was inebriated by the overflow of potent, domineering masculine energy, seeing as I was basking in the energy of breathtakingly hot dark gods.

I had observed how Cassien was similar to the Devil in many aspects physically, but he carried himself differently. For one, he was nowhere near as taut and naturally imposing and frightening and he exercised a lot of patience. His body language was nowhere near as tense and as indirectly harrying as the Devil's while I denied them an answer, in fact, his eyes had conveyed this emotion to me that I could not quite read, but I conjectured to represent just how confident and resolute he was. It was like to him, I had already made my selection and it was him I had chosen without an ounce of doubt, but I just did not want to express it and cement it with words because I was too intimidated by the Devil. In that moment, I had desperately wanted to excuse myself, I was becoming increasingly aware just how provocatively and indecently clad I was and for some reason, this bothered me more especially because I had a strange desire to present a better, less slutty, more elegant and decent version of myself to this entracing stranger I had not even known for a few minutes. Maybe it was that deep yearning for the Devil's un- fatherly affection that was sowing these ridiculous thoughts into my mind, that was making me think that I could finally have the man I have always desired without actually having him and without hurting my mother. In my mind, the Devil's brother, the uncle I never knew I had, was already a potential substitute. He was the universe's gift to me.

Unlike Jon, he was a much more worthy replacement, his eyes alone could already draw out those complex, overbearing, defining emotions out of me and that was an achievement only the Devil once held.

I felt like an idiot for already conceiving these fantasies of us, for already imagining the pleasure and my satisfaction, for already being so excited about pursuing a romantic, sexual relationship with the infernal god that is Cassien, when I did not even know him or was aware of any commitments he had. For all I know, he could be just as taken as the Devil, not forgetting to mention the fact that he is family.

Here I was again, dealt with a predicament of such a confusing nature again. My relationship with my step- father is already strange and far from conventional or understandable and somehow I have managed to find myself pulled into another relationship I am going to have challenges explaining and playing my part rightfully in. If his apparent interest in me and the incomprehensible entitlement he feels he has over me is anything to go by, then I cannot even begin to imagine just how difficult it is going to be to forge boundaries and not cross those boundaries with uncle Cassien. I already do not see him as an uncle or any affiliation in that sense and I doubt he is interested in having a relationship even slightly close to platonic with me.

It does not help that I am in the most enlightened state and the most aware I have ever been of my desires. It does not help that I am experiencing my sexual awakening and I crave a sexual connection more than anything else. Recently I have been experiencing the urge to qualify myself as depraved, I feel like I have long surpassed immoral and no longer have any moral strictures keeping in me in line. As long as in the end I get what I want, desire graspingly and extinguish this fire ravaging me from within, then I am happy and proud to be a sinner.

I was exhausted beyond measure by the time I reached the ninth floor and made it into my room. All I could see was Cassien's eyes gazing deeply into mine as I stared at myself in the mirror. I am not the most confident person in the world, but I did look kind of sexy in a mature vixen way, although I was a bit disheveled. I slowly undressed, my mind conjuring up all sorts of scenarios that made me bubble up inside.

The Devil validated that not all hope was lost by acting so furiously possessive, I was so worried that he had lost all interest in me and that he was going to revert me to the minimal significance of his of other daughters, who he never gives any attention. I would have been so crushed if I never heard his detectably deep, devilishly evocative voice say "My liloco" again or if he never pulled me to his lap again and asked how my day was. I missed those moments that used to torture me so mercilessly so much, I could not believe that I was going to sleep without hearing a single word of acknowledgement from him the entire day, without relishing even the slightest from him.

As I climbed into the bed and laid on my back and gazed at the ceiling, I was haunted by the feeling that I still had unfinished business, I felt like the night was not over yet. Maybe it was the seeping moisture and the throbbing between my legs making me crave a more satisfying end to an eventful night. I have been denying myself pleasure for a long time, too long to ponder on all the consternating things I heard tonight, like the mention of the Underworld and the Devil's brother insinuating that I was his in the past and will still be his now. I was too inflamed and desperate for relief from this burning desire for pleasure to occupy my mind with thoughts of reincarnation or rebirth and other illogical explanations. After all I have been through, tonight was not the night to figure out exactly what I am to the Devil and Cassien and what my destiny is, this moment all I wanted was to be numbed with pleasure. I knew was self- service was only going to leave me more dissatisfied, so I refrained from lowering my hand to my panties and decided it would be wiser to discard these thoughts from my mind before my need becomes unbearable and go to sleep.

I had really tried, the outcome would have been different and more morally acceptable had the image of that demonic creature that hunted me in the forest not flashed in my mind as soon as I closed my eyes and dosed off. I was so incredibly tormented by the fear of falling into another crippling nightmare, that I decided to not sleep until I had calmed down. Not knowing what it was, where it was currently and what it would have done to me was what bothered me the most. I felt like I was summoning it into my world by dreaming about it and I was convinced that my fear was only feeding it and making it more powerful.

I needed to feel safe and there was only one person who made me feel the most secure from danger. I never felt threatened in the Devil's company, he is so terrifying and powerful he can never be in danger because he is the danger himself. That feeling of security he gives me is what draws me to him as well, I have always admired his power, as much as it frightens me. Even his body is a weapon of destruction fortified with pert muscles, he could lift me up with the strength of only one arm and throw me around like a rag doll. Cassien is no different, that makes him a million times more attractive.

As much as my mind tried to convince me that I did not need him in this moment, my heart wanted what it wanted. I needed to see him, I needed him to hold me and I had already figured out the perfect excuse to see him. It was close to three in the morning so my timing was a bit inappropriate, but I was hopeful that he was not sleeping or too preoccupied and I was praying he had not left to deal with whatever issue Macheno had brought to his attention.

I left my bed and put on a chiffon robe, not bothering to change out of my soaked panties despite being made aware of my wetness and how they clung onto my lips with each step I took. I strutted down the empty hallway, the silence giving me away to my anxiousness.

I was going to apologise to the lord of Bervon for my unacceptable behaviour, that was my excuse and as excited I was to be in his company, I was not prepared to face him or the consequences of my misbehaviour. I was grateful that I made it to the elevator without running into anyone and even more grateful that I had not seen my mother the entire day. I prayed endlessly for her to not be spending the night, her absence would make me much more daring and almost eliminate my biggest inhibitor; guilt. I made it to the sixth floor and it was just as vacant, which made my hope to plummet a bit. I knew his movements very well because of my responsibilities to him, so the offices were the first places I checked and I did not see a trace of him in any of the four, my last bet was his exhibition room, a strange, unnecessarily large, dimly lit room where he keeps his collections of skulls, weapons I have always doubted are from this earth and other strange things I cannot even begin to explain. I was severely disappointed to find that the room was inaccessible, but even more disappointed because I just knew that he was not in there.

All my hope vanished, I was now more convinced that he had left the hotel and I hated not knowing when he will return or where his mind is at. I caught myself in the mirror on the wall and I stared at my own reflection with incredulity. This is ridiculous, just look at me, in this sheer robe, hunting for my own mother's husband in the middle of the night basically. I was too desperate and desperation would never be elegant or dignified. I was just about to take a turn for the elevator, return to my room and reevaluate my life when I remembered that there was one very well hidden office that was like a preferred sanctuary for the Devil that I had not yet checked. I, of course could not resist, despite my compunction, I sauntered further down and reached a deceiving dead- end, entered my fingerprints on the glassy part of the red wall that blends so well if you are not familiar with this part of the hotel, you would not know there is a fingerprint detector there.

I uttered the incantation in a foreign language for the last security check and the wall shifted only a few seconds after recognizing my voice and revealed a hallway. Only the Devil, his trusted right- hand and me have been granted access to this sanctuary, it has always amazed me how he has always trusted me more than my mother, even when I was a just a stupid teenager... well I am still a teenager, but I have matured a lot and settled well into adulthood. And adulthood has taught me the value of doing what has to be done and that no matter how many toes you will have to step on, a girl will still have to do what a girl's gotta do. I sauntered down the narrowest passage so far, feeling my heart starting to beat faster as I approached the office, because I realised just how perfect this setting is, just how much it encourages illicit activities. It is inaccessible to my mother and the maids with loose tongues, it is soundproof and perfectly hidden. I do not know why I didn't think of this earlier, oh yeah, I was less depraved "earlier" and actually had a brain, I did not think with my vagina so much.

I was brimming as my body faced the office door, but I decided to look through the wall- sized window next to it before knocking and I set my eyes on the last exhibition I thought I would be exposed to. I quickly spun on my heel and ran as fast as I could back to where I came from, feeling my heart shatter to a million fragments as I slammed the door to my bedroom shut.