ADDENDUM

Annotation:

Sometimes it happens that writers have an idea, start writing and in the middle they get better ideas about the characters' situation and behavior. In moments like that, you discard the first chapters and rewrite them from scratch.

That's how it was with this book.

I would like to present this "alternative beginning" to you here.

Caution: It is a very long chapter.

*****

"Sam, please finish your milk and listen to your brother," her mother ordered with an admonishing index finger and checked her make-up again in the dressing room mirror. Not that she needed it. Her mother always looked stunningly perfect when she went to a gala.

"Mom I'm not five anymore. I don't need a babysitter."

"You're seventeen, of course you need one and listen to your mother!" her father explained just as seriously, before coming down the stairs and hastily adjusting the collar of his suit. Her mother turned to him, helping him tie the knots and then gave him an admiring smile.

"You look good," she whispered, certain Samantha didn't notice. But she heard rolled her eyes in annoyance and heard her father's answer just as clearly.

“You look good, you will steal the show from every painting there. It's disgusting. Sure, Sam was glad her parents still adored each other after all these years. She just didn't want to be there when They did. Was that too much to ask? Her father broke away from his wife's beguiling gaze, grabbed his jacket and then strode quickly over to Sam to pat her cheek affectionately and kiss her as always

"Please Sam. Killian came here today especially so that you guys could spend some time together. I'm sorry." I know it's hard for girls your age to accept, but please be nice to him. he asked and looked her in the face expectantly.

"Sure dad," she murmured, still unenthusiastic that her brother would take care of her tonight like she was a toddler. Didn't he have some party he had to throw as a student?

"Hey. he demanded, hitting the nerve that actually made Sam smile. She wrapped her arms around his chest and murmured, "I love you Dad."

"I love you too sweetheart. Have fun, okay?" her father said again and then glanced at his son. Killian stood in the hallway with his bag in his hands and only shrugged his shoulders at these words.

"Don't annoy your sister too much, Do you understand boy?"

"Yes, yes, I'll take care of the devil's roast. Go away and have a nice evening, too," Killian replied only disparagingly, demonstratively put a heavy arm on his little sister's shoulders and tousled her long blond hair only a tad lighter than his own. Otherwise, they were hardly alike, Sam thought.

He was tall and broad-shouldered, like their father and Samantha was a dwarf next to her mother. He was also less pale than her, had no freckles on his nose and was undeniably the more attractive sibling of the two of them.

Samantha didn't have friends who didn't pine after him. Maybe that's why she had few friends. No matter where she went. Killian posed as a big brother and drew everyone's attention.

She hated him for it. They waved goodbye to their parents as they left the house and not a second later Samantha brushed his arm away and walked back into the living room.

"So what are we doing tonight?" asked Killian, who had followed her as always. As if one actually had to follow her every step. She wasn't a baby anymore.

"We? Nothing. I'm watching a series and I'll try to ignore you on the side!" she announced spitefully, making a detour to the kitchen and grabbing a bag of crisps from a cupboard. But as soon as she took a step into the living room, Killian snatched the snack from her and held it out of her reach as she tried to get it back.

"You should have dinner before you tamper with this. Or do you want to get fat?" he asked with a shameless grin that was definitely meant to annoy her.

Samantha snorted derisively. She was definitely the opposite of fat, in fact she was quite skinny especially considering other girls her age who were already boasted a substantial bust and well-rounded hips.

She had nothing of the sort. Her breasts were palm-sized at best, and the only reason she might have been suspected of having hips was because her waist was so small that one she could have broken through. A few extra pounds on her ribs definitely couldn't hurt her.

"Give it here, Killian!" Samantha demanded, unwilling to engage in his games. Killian just kept grinning, ripped open the bag and made his way to the couch himself. Dumbass. She hissed as she ran after him and flopped down next to him. Of course, he had already grabbed the remote control and was about to turn on something incredibly annoying like soccer.

"Oh no! This is my evening off. I decide what comes up!" to get to the remote control. Again, Killian lifted her out of her reach. No, this time it wasn't going to be that easy! Determined to reclaim her anyway, Sam crawled over him and stretched until she actually briefly touched the plastic.

Then Killian's free arm wrapped around her body and threw her backwards onto the couch with an ease that left Sam lying there dumbfounded for a moment. She choked out a few curses, tried to kick at her brother, but he just grabbed her feet and pressed them down on the pad as well.

"Stop squirming and cursing, I don't understand a word of what they're saying on TV." Samantha straightened up again and Killian only released her feet because she didn't try to hurt him again and reached for the bag of chips She didn't catch her again.

"Killian! Give me something!", she demanded and slowly she got really mad at him. Killian grinned even wider.

"You're cute when you're mad, sweetie. What do I get for that?", he asked smugly and Sam almost jumped out of his skin. She hated it when he called her that. She didn't answer again, tried again with the remote control and Killian threw the device on a chair next to the couch.

Believing to finally have a chance, Sam tried to climb over him, but then Killian grabbed her again and pressed her onto the couch with his body weight.

"You're heavy, get off me!" she scolded, trying to push him off of her but achieving nothing except for him to grab her hands and hold them together over her head. Her struggle lasted maybe half a minute, until she finally realized that it was no use and Killian looked at her extremely seriously. Long and wordlessly.

"What?", she asked provocatively harshly and slowly but surely this made her quite uncomfortable. He lay on top of her, his face hovering just inches above hers and with each deep breath, the tips of her breasts touched the fabric of his shirt.

She felt her cheeks flush and tried to pull away again. Which was more embarrassing than anything. As she bucked under hm, she came too close to his face and her hips pressed and rubbed against his and... oh god she had just felt his dot dot dot.

How embarrassing. She couldn't even think the word. And he just kept looking at her. So intense that she blushed again.

"Killian?" she asked quietly. Still no reaction.

"I'm uncomfortable with this, please go downstairs," she said in a husky and almost wordless voice. as she began to squirm under him again. This time, Killian cupped her wrists over her head in one hand, holding her hips with the other. It was weird to feel his fingers on her bare skin. She was wearing one of her loose pajama bottoms and a tight tank top that must have been riding up during all the bickering and he was touching her exposed skin.

"What are you up to?" Sam asked, a strange feeling spreading in her stomach while his thumb restlessly caressed her skin. His silence became more and more eerie, but since he didn't react to resistance, she tried something else now. Sam managed a smile, which was easy since she actually liked her brother.

"It tickles," she said with twitching lips and completely gave up her resistance. "Yes?" asked Killian, who finally had something like a smile on his face. Infinitely relieved that he finally ended this heavy silence, she smiled wider.

"Yes. It-" His hand slipped under her tank top and sam was so shocked she lost her smile for a moment she tried to calm down his hand slipped under her back nothing more it wasn't like he was touching her... well not really , it was just... goosebumps covered her body and when Killian made sure with his hand that she pressed tighter to his chest, Sam searched his eyes in panic. Infinitely relieved that he was finally breaking this heavy silence, she smiled wider.

What was he doing? Why did he do that and why... did she get so hot all of a sudden? She pressed her lips together as her nipples rose and she was so embarrassed that he had to see it.

"Does it still tickle?" he asked, his voice so oddly low it made her shiver. Sam didn't dare open his lips, just allowed his hand to run up and down her spine. She swallowed hard, frantically searching his gaze for answers, but it was as unfathomable as before, and then it became clear, Killian's hand traveled down again, cupping her hips, then her thigh, which he slowly pushed aside to fit in his lap against hers.

Sam couldn't help it. She parted her lips and let out a throaty breath that it almost sounded like a moan and to her surprise his hot breath hit her cheek and his face pressed against hers. He rubbed himself slowly and carefully against her, slid the tip of his nose over her temples and for a moment she thought she felt his lips on her cheeks, but she couldn't say exactly.

She was distracted by his hips rubbing against hers and by the long, hard something sliding against her most intimate part. Hot. Hotter...hotter, she got, and then realized, unmistakably and infinitely embarrassed, that she was aroused and that her hips were also beginning to squirm against him.

Oh god, what just happened here? Biting her lower lip, she squeezed her eyes shut to force herself not to feel anything but his hand slid over her ribs, stroked her skin and then he cupped her breast.

"Killian, don't," she groaned hoarsely and opened her eyes slightly again, unable to close her mouth because her breathing was going too fast and getting faster as he began kneading her chest and pressing his lap harder against hers. He breathing irregularly as well and his lips, his hot breath caressing his.

Then her hands were free but she didn't dare move her limbs away because she didn't want him to stop, didn't want to ruin this. It felt felt so infinitely good. And wrong and so infinitely wrong. Killian grabbed her other breast, kept rubbing her so hard Sam felt something hot liquid run down her thighs, getting wet. No. No she couldn't, she could not... As a moan traveled up her throat again, she bit her lip hard, yet her body unintentionally arched toward Killian and then a shock wave ripped through her.

She had an orgasm, one that was far better than the ones she always created for herself in her childhood bedroom, more intense than she had ever experienced. Killian noticed, because she tried to squeeze her thighs together, clutching his waist even tighter.

She narrowed her eyes as she shakily tried to catch her breath. Then she was suddenly cold. Killian got up so fast that she could hardly keep up, ran out of the living room into the bathroom and a few seconds later she heard the rushing of the shower. She wanted to sink into the ground in embarrassment, and still her inner muscles were throbbing so hard she could barely stand. But she had to.

She had to stand and walk and lock herself in her room. She managed to avoid Killian for the next two days, but by the third night her parents were back for a party and Killian had grumbledly agreed to look after her again. Samantha didn't dare say anything to her parents.

Her brother had laid on her, rubbing against her and she had come under your body. Violent. She couldn't explain that to anyone. It just sounded too crazy. She avoided her brother's scrutiny as she said goodbye to her mother and father again and hurried to her room, before Killian had said goodbye to them as well.

He didn't come to her, didn't do it again and she should be glad about that. If they both managed to pretend nothing had happened, then they could both just forget it. But she couldn't. Not when she looked at him and was confronted with how manly he was, how sexy, how hard his features seemed, and not when she lay alone in her bed at night, slipping her fingers between her legs and...thinking about him while touching .

She justified it to herself by admitting that it was just a forbidden fantasy. But found that she could not find the same redemption as he had given her. Samantha waited until Killian had also gone into his mostly derelict room, then snuck out of hers and quickly ran down the stairs to the kitchen to get something to drink.

Even if the longing in her abdomen, the constant beating between her legs was getting worse. The water helped cool down. For a while, at least, then she went back upstairs and... watched through his open bedroom door as he sat at the foot of his bed, controller in hand, playing a video game. With stiff facial features and a strange restlessness in himself.

She took in his chiseled profile, his long dexterous fingers flying over the keys, and everything else about him. So long and so dreamy that she only realized he was staring at her too after their eyes had met for a while. Killian looked at her. with eyes, which might as well have been hers and seemed to be waiting for something.

Anything she wanted to say. But she didn't want to talk, she wanted to feel him again and... impatiently she pressed her legs together and bit her lower lip again. She can't be asking him to... He held out a hand, a silent invitation that took away the words and everything else unspeakable that was on the tip of her tongue.

"Come here," he growled invitingly and instinctively, because the glitter in his eyes frightened her, she took a step back.

"Come here!" he then ordered and it wasn't her brother's voice anymore. She obeyed and went to his room, which he actually no longer lived in. He lived in his college dorm. Anything she wanted to say. But she didn't want to talk, she wanted to feel him again and... impatiently she pressed her legs together and bit her lower lip again. She can't be asking him to...

"Close the door," he continued to order when she finally arrived and this time Sam obeyed, full of horror and desire. Killian looked at her for a long time the jean shorts that ended just below her butt.

"Do you want to play along?" he asked, his eyes blazing so wildly that she knew he wasn't referring to the video game, even though he handed her the controller promptingly.

"I can't do that," she murmured, but Killian's mouth just twitched. "I'll show you how it's done, you'll like it..." Sam couldn't find an excuse anymore, neither for him nor for himself, he dared but not to sit down with him on the bed. So she sat on the floor in front of the TV and turned her back on it.

Killian slid up to her from behind and before she knew it, she was sitting between his legs, he wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her back until her shoulders were against his chest.

"Press start," he whispered in her ear, and she flinched, but stayed obedient, following the on-screen instructions as she tried to jump Kirby to the finish, one jump at a time. His hand ran through her hair, stroking it.

She pulled aside until his rough chin ran down her neck, trying to keep her composure, pretending not to notice. As if she didn't know his hands were stroking her upper arm. As if she didn't hear his breath in her hair she murmurs, not noticing the hard bulge in her back, "Hmmm. You are a true natural. You know how to push buttons."

There was no mistaking the smut in his voice, and his lips brushed her ear cup briefly, a distraction so she didn't notice a hand slip under her shirt on her stomach. But she did.

" No, please," she begged briefly, and it sounded pathetic even to her ears.

"No what? I just want to show you how to play," he murmured, "Never mind. I'm your brother." And with that word he grabbed her breast and squeezed it so hard and possessively that she couldn't help but whimper.

Thinking about that moment later, she would never admit to herself that she should have slipped away, but didn't because his fingers just felt good against her skin. good and wrong.

"You've grown up so sweet," he continued to breathe into her ear and a burning sensation built up between Sam's legs, which cooled down immediately when he pinched her nipple. She flinched violently, feeling feverish Dad could be home any minute," she ground out, dropping the controller as his other hand went to her pants and unbuttoned the top of her jeans.

She put both hands on his wrists but didn't know if she was trying to stop him or holding him. Her long legs slid nervously across the carpet as Killian slipped a hand between them.

"And what should you see then? You see how I take care of you. That's what I'm supposed to do as a big brother." She was about to say something when his tone became cutting and authoritative.

"Spread your legs, Sam!" Her knees snapped apart and her head flew back into her neck, right on his shoulder. His eyes gleamed with amusement while she could barely keep her own open. His hand on her chest disappeared, settled around her chin and pulled it a little to the side until his lips were on hers.

The kiss was burning, demanding and uncaring. He pressed himself to her mouth, immediately starting to use his tongue on it and Sam parted his lips willingly. His taste was great and the intensity with which his tongue brushed hers was only matched by the shock of his finger finding between her legs, the center of her pleasure.

Sam's fingernails dug into his forearms and the kiss escalated into an uncontrolled struggle as his fingers pressed harder against her sensitive middle and he even slipped a finger inside her. She moaned, he broke the kiss, watching her with hungry eyes as she stifled the moan, biting his lip as he tormented her.

"Have you played that before?" he asked hoarsely as Samantha's fingernails dug into his forearm. She shook her head. A strange fog settled over her mind.

He was skilled and she preferred not to think about her brother was only so skilled because there had already been a few women in his life, women with whom he had done the same thing he was doing to her right now. Her lips parted and she moaned his name as his fingers pressed against hers harder and he tried to slide a second finger inside her. But it was too tight and cramped.

"Scccht, calm down. Take a deep breath. Just drop, sweetie," he breathed, his voice even deeper than before. He sounded impatient, hungry, and she pushed her hips against his hand for more. The spiral took hold of her, her gasps filling the room and Killian finally managed to slip the second finger inside her.

She came almost immediately. With his fingers inside her. Her eyes grew heavy and dreamy clouded as Kilian pulled out of her again and immediately started t-shirting her up to push.

Samantha felt her throat tighten and she became even more frightened, pulling even further away from him.

"Come back here!" he demanded in a soft voice that sounded more menacing than his clenched fists and the angry expression on his face. Sam swallowed the lump in her throat before she could answer. Her words sounded tight though ...it's wrong," she breathed, but that didn't stop Killian from reaching out and enclosing her upper arm to pull her back to him.

Samantha landed on his chest, crouching between his legs and she felt his hard erection on her hip. Killian brushed her long hair aside, grabbed her chin and pulled her towards his face. She had never seen that dark something in his eyes and she didn't know what to make of it.

"Show me!" he commanded, imperatively. Sam swallowed again and tremblingly removed her hands from her breasts until he had an unobstructed view of the pale, erect-topped hills. He studied her for a while.

His Gaze averted and eyes closed fully as his hand settled on her breast, his fingers gripping her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her throat, a tear fighting the corner of her eye as the grip on her chest was so tight It became almost painful Killian lowered his mouth to her breasts, circling his tongue around one of her hard peaks and began to suckle greedily until they stiffened further and more painfully.

Then he turned to the other, his sucking, nibbling, and biting getting harder by the second, as was the bulge in his pants she was sitting on. The hand on her ass began to digest her hips and she bit her lower lip as he ordered her to rub against his erection. She did it at exactly the pace and in the manner he was leading her.

He was now nibbling on her neck and his fingers crawled under the waistband of her jeans to cup the bare skin of her bottom.

"I love your butt. Maybe I should start with him," he growled, and suddenly he threw her upper body onto the mattress, her knees still on the floor as he tugged down her short jeans and held them down with one hand between her shoulder blades.

Sam sniffled in panic when she found herself in this submissive pose and already knew what was to come. She wanted to tell him that he had to be careful that if he took her now it would be her first time. But the words slipped from her mind again as his fingers slid down her thigh and caressed her there until Samantha felt that she was even wetter.

She felt her own arousal slide down her thighs and gave a small whimper when he pulled his hand away. "You want it. You want me to do this with you. Tell me!" he ordered and Sam just nodded because she didn't think she could get a word out. But Killian didn't let her get away with that.

"Say it, Sam. Say that you want to be fucked by your brother!" That was...perverted. No, she would never be able to say that in her life. She would never... Killian rolled her onto her back, pushed her knees apart and forced her to keep her legs bent as he pushed himself on top of her. He placed his forearms by her face and looked down at her.

"Tell me!" he breathed, bringing his hand to her mouth and forcing the fingers that had been inside her between her lips. She tasted her own arousal, then he pulled them back out of her mouth and shoved his own tongue in instead completely unrestrained, she pressed herself against him, swallowed his kiss and pulled his t-shirt up to finally be able to touch his body.

Kilian helped her without interrupting the kiss longer than necessary. She heard the clatter of his belt buckle and then got a little nervous.

"Say it!" demanded again and he pushed down his pants along with his shorts. The short bilk Sam could catch on his erection made her doubt again. It was too big, he would never fit inside her. His fingers found Her middle again, his lips caressing her neck and then she said s. Maddened by the desire inside her.

"Fuck me." And he did. At first he pushed just one finger inside her again to widen her for himself and Sam tried to relax again. Then his thick glans was at her entrance, he irresistibly pushed himself into her and even when she cramped his penetration remained merciless.

"Record me. Quite. I need to be inside you." She saw stars as the pain shot through her, but it receded so quickly that she could ignore it.

"Yes!" he moaned as he began to move inside her. Back, forward again. Back, forward again. Sam cupped her hands over her head, pressing her palms to the headboard of the bed as Killian sat up and his thrusts grew harder .

She watched helplessly as he grabbed her hips, pushing his large body against hers, always hitting a spot inside her that made her gasp. But it wasn't enough. Her body wanted to protest, it wasn't used to being used like that, but Killian's voice didn't allow any arguments.

"Sit up!" Sam straightened her body, supporting herself on her arms as her legs wrapped around his waist and his cock moved violently inside her. Killian licked her breasts again, sucked on her neck and his thrusts became like that so hard that Sam couldn't accommodate him anymore. She was only long enough to endure his manner of possession.

"Fuck. Sam!" he grumbled, biting her shoulder and pushing her thighs further apart to get even deeper inside her. He took her hard. Too hard to be comfortable so soon after her defloration. But she didn't say. His muscles moved on her body, the fervor of his actions was unstoppable. She came. At some point, when she pushed, she didn't think she could hold out for another second and he just kept pumping. She also felt his climax.

Hot and wet, it squirted inside her and he thrust a few more times to get every last drop of his seed inside her. For the first time Sam was glad he had the courage to go to the gynecologist and get a prescription for the pill.

Her mother had been nagging her about it for weeks, but she was afraid to let a doctor examine her like that. Now she was more than happy about it. Killian lay on her gasped into her ear, still holding her while he lifted his head and they sank into the mattresses together. A high beam from a car briefly illuminates the window and Sam knew it was her parents. Killian didn't seem to care, he grabbed her chin and looked at her intently.

"This is our little secret. You won't tell anyone about it and above all: You will continue to allow it!" That was an order and Sam just nodded, still completely dazed from what they had done.

FIN