57
NOAH
"DON'T YOU DARE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" my father yells through the house and grabs me by the collar.
I just wanted to help. Why am I being punished for something like this?
"Now just leave him alone. Why are you treating him like this? HE IS YOUR SON EHWA !" So why should he treat me any differently. He treats everyone like shit.
"No one allowed you to talk, you stupid bitch. Go on cleaning!" he hisses and pulls me with him.
"You will learn to respect me, you ugly child. OUT!" he yells angrily and pushes me outside into the garden.
Crying, I stand in the middle of the garden and look at the ground. He's gonna hurt me again. I don't want him to hurt me. It always hurts me, every day, several times. He beats mom and me for no reason. When will this all end?
"In the pool, now!"
What does he mean with that ?
"Dad, why should I go in the pool?" I ask. I don't want to go in the pool. It's going to be dangerous....
"Do I have to make you go in there? GET IN THERE IMMEDIATELY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT."
I don't want to go in there. Great fear spreads through me as I look at the water.
"Come here..."
No !
"Stop that!" I scream, crying, and try to tear myself away from him. No, no, no! I don't want that. I don't want to go in there.
"MOM !" I yell desperately. Please !
"MOM, HELP ME!" I keep screaming. I don't want to go in there. I know what he's up to. He calls it: teach me some manners!
The last time he did that, I almost drowned. He held me under the water for almost a minute until I lost consciousness. Luckily Mom was able to push him away and help me, but that doesn't mean she can this time.
"I'm sorry I was so disrespectful. Please let me go dad. I beg you..." I breathe, crying, and cling to his arm.
Please do not.
Grinning, he pushes me to the edge of the pool and looks into your eyes. "I think I have to teach you some manners again." he hisses angrily and pushes me into the pool.
No !
"You shitty kid. YOU DESERVE NOTHING ELSE, DO YOU HEAR!" he roars furiously and claws his fingers into my hair.
I immediately hold my breath and am pressed down shortly afterwards.
He will kill me...
"NO!" I scream loudly and sit down as I wake up from my dream. I stare at the wall with wide eyes and suddenly feel someone take my face in their hands.
Fuck!
"Noah... everything okay?" asks Mirella worried and wipes my tears away.
My gaze wanders to her, crying.
"You're shaking. What's happening ? Did you have a bad dream?"
Why did he do that? Why did he hate me so?
He was such a bastard. He killed mom... He made our life hell.
"It's okay... do you want to tell me about it?" she asks me softly. No! I mustn't show any weakness right now.
"I'm good. Lie back down." I snap back and lay down again.
Why is this happening again? Why do I dream of my father and my childhood? I haven't had that in years. I suppressed everything so well. Why is he back in my head? Why can't this just leave me alone for the rest of my life?
"I don't tell anyone anything. You can ro..."
"I do not know what you mean. I'm fine. Now let me..." she gently pulls my face towards her and kisses my forehead.
"You don't have to be strong in front of me. I'm silent like a grave. No one will overhear our conversations, Noah. You can be with me whoever you want... please don't forget that, okay?" with a slight smile she turns away from me and goes back to sleep.
I can't trust her. I can't trust anyone. They all just want power, fame... money. She would make millions if she would tell someone what my fears are or what my phobias are. She would make my life hell and I won't let that happen. I'm Noah Lee. Nobody can keep up with me.... Everything I do is in an A A range and nobody can get close to me. It has to stay that way. I don't let myself be pushed around and hit anymore... Those days are long gone.
"You will never know anything from me. You forget who I am, Miraalla. Do you really think I'll tell you what I dream of? Then you would automatically know what scares me."
"That's nice, you know that?"
Nice ?
"What is beautiful?" I ask confused and look over at her. Her hair looks so soft and probably it is. At least it felt so soft when we kissed deeply. This kiss....
"You just admitted that even the great Noah Lee is scared of something. That's nice. It shows that despite your bad deeds, you still have feelings and emotions that aren't just anger and violence." She murmurs, half asleep, and pulls the covers closer to her.
"And if you even tell anyone that, I'll kill you... got it!"
Everyone thinks I'm not afraid of anything or anyone and it should stay that way.
"Understood Boss." She answers briefly and falls asleep again.
