Six

That night, Ryder didn't come down for dinner. I tried not to think he's behind closed doors. James said he's in but I doubt if that is true. Actually I've tried to see if he's in during my frequent trips to my bedroom since he is right next to mine. The room is quiet and the light is flipped on. An old disco song sounded in the background and I recognized it…….. Another new thing to discover, I never knew Ryder could like that tract. It's actually my favourite.

On my way up to bed, I couldn’t help stopping to stare at Ryder's closed bedroom door once more. The music had stopped, it had one that I didn't recognize. I wondered what he could be doing. Disappointed that I didn't see his face, I went inside my room.

Later my mom came in and I offered her a quick good night and then rolled over to face the wall, burying my head in my comforter as she closed the door behind her. I do hear people say it's very difficult to fall asleep easily in a foreign bed and I can see the reason why because right now, despite the fatigue, overcoming every inch of my body is too much to handle. I've spent hours arraigning, packing and unpacking my new room. I roll back over and press a hand to my forehead. It takes me a good hour of tossing and turning and testing my will to live before I do finally fall asleep. After what seems like five minutes later, that peaceful sleep was interrupted with a loud banging against my bedroom window.

Reluctantly, I got up and opened the blinds only to find a drunken Ryder leaning against the wall.

What? I squinted to see if it's actually him but that's only ridiculous. I thought he was in all along, well we all did. How did he get out? Who's been playing the music… it didn't take me seconds before I put two and two together. Of course, it's Ryder Saint.

"What do you want?" I whispered and yelled a bit angry. He interrupted me when I just managed to fall asleep.

It takes him a while before he help himself up and locate my voice

"Open the door" he slurred and staggered backwards.

"Just open the door" he says again in the same slurring voice.

I quickly grabbed the nearest paint my hands could find because I actually like sleeping in my panties and tank top. It was when I reached the foot of the stairs I asked myself what I was doing. This is Ryder for the love of God. Carefully, I opened the door for him to come in.

"What took you so long?" He barks as he barges past me. He reeked of alcohol and cigarettes.

Even a drunk Ryder is still an asshole

I closed the door and pulled its lock. "Didn't know you were checking the time"

"How much do you drink?" I followed him as he took uneven steps. He didn't answer so I asked again.

"How many bottles did you drink?"

"None of your fucking business Rocks" was his reply.

"Do you need water or something?" He tried to climb the steps but stumbled and I tried to help him up.

"Don't fucking touch me" he paused. "Don't lay your fucking hands on me"

"You know what Ryder, Fuck you!" I've had enough of his stupid tantrums. I left him there not caring if he makes it up or he passes out there. Ryder will surely be Ryder. Whether he is drunk or not. I ripped off my pants when I got back in.

Some minutes later, I heard his door open then close. He did make it up eventually. It took me another four minutes before I finally fell asleep.

Too much for a first night.

*****

I shut my eyes as soon as I opened them.

Wtf!

Why is it so bright in here? What happened? My room is usually dark. When my eyes finally get used to the light I realised it's not my room after all. Where am I?

Like a flash, I recollect the events of yesterday. Our arrival and then at night, a drunk Ryder. The window, my face went in that direction spontaneously and I realised it's still open. Little wonder it's all bright in here. I stared at the ceiling for a while while I listened to the low…. Coming from Ryder's room. He must really love that band.

After a while, I decided to get out of bed and put on some clothes as I was done doing this, I heard my door close behind me and I looked up to see the race of the person I so dread.

Arrgggh

Will I ever get used to seeing his face each day now that we live together? I don't think so.

Stepping away from the mirror, "Have you ever heard the word 'privacy' before?"

I studied his face, he looks okay, his hair is a little disheveled other than that, he didn't look like someone who's just got out of bed or having a hangover.

He cocks his head to one side as he stares around my new room moving a little further into the room. "I just want to make sure you don't run your mouth to our parents about last night. Rest especially my dad"

I laughed a little "why? You don't want him to see the asshole he's raising?"

I watch as his teeth grit tight together and his jaw hardens. He frowns, his lips forming a firm line as he furrows his eyebrows and takes a few hesitant steps toward me. “Just—just don’t say anything.”

I fold my arms then step back giving myself enough space away from him.

"What are you hiding from him? It's okay to say you had a few drinks and passed out." I took one step closer, suddenly finding my confidence. " Maybe if you tell me I can consider keeping your secrets."

"Secrets?" He chuckles. "Hey, Rocks I'm not in here for a lecture, I only came to warm you about running your mouth or I that a fucking problem for you?"

It's not like I'm not expecting him to lash out on me but I swear I wince as he said Rocks. Why can't he call my name? Maybe I'm just insane to think living together with him will change things between the two of us. I laughed at the idea in my head.

"Are you mad your father is getting married?" I suddenly asked what's been on my mind since last Friday.

He looks surprised as if my question caught him off guard. He has an unreadable expression on his face so I can't make out if he's telling the truth or not.

"Fuvk, No!"

Then why? Why do you hate me so much. I'm pretty sure it's not because of this step siblings' relationships because he couldn't stand my sight right from school.

"Just don't say anything" he called and he walked away without closing my door.

Asshole.

****

Throughout that week, I didn't see much of Ryder. At school he stayed the hell away from me and everyone else. Since the blown out episode with him out here, I can finally walk without feeling eyes on my body and hearing people whispering my name in low voices and some oblivious to my hearing. Haha I raised my hands in victory. Cheers to me I can finally love school and not count the days to graduation. I made a couple of friends even though we haven't been that close. Just a couple of hangouts and little chit chats during classes.

He didn't seem to tell people we're step siblings so I kept to myself too. Well, except Lexi.

When I got back today, I found the house empty as usual. Mom and James are off to work and Ryder? Off to whether he goes every afternoon.

"How's Your brother today?" Lexi asked

"Stepbrother" I corrected.

I told Lexi about the night he came home drunk and the next morning how he barged into my bedroom and demanded I keep it away from our parents.

"You still haven't seen him around?" She asked Surprise is evident in her voice.

"Yes" I nodded. "I'm not sure he's in because his CD isn't on"

Her next question took me by surprise. "You've seen his room?"

"What? No way! He barely even talk to me"

The idea of seeing Ryder's room became intriguing to me. What will it look like? I'm sure the walls will be covered in animal skulls and a huge black snake drawn against his headboard. I waved that imagination away but whatever else I try to picture isn't a good idea.

After a little talk with Lexi, we hung up. On my way downstairs to drink water, I paused by Ryder's door. No sign that he is in yet. I thought about Lexi's words from earlier and I became curious of what it looks like. The dark things he does while locked up in here. Taking a look won't hurt I guess, especially when he isn't here. Without thinking straight, I Sprint back to my bedroom and bring out the old little camera my mom got me some years ago. I dust it off, then wipe its lens. It might be old but works perfectly.

Standing in front of his door trembling, I recited the psalm twenty three three times then muttered a quick prayer of success. I gripped the handle and discovered it unlocked.

Good.

Now I won't want to worry about breaking into his room. I passed the door open and stepped inside. I was first greeted by the smell of his woodsky Cologne. The room is dark since the lights are off. His look looked entirely opposite of what I had pictured. Instead of Animal skull on his fall, it's replaced with handwriting painted in different colours. If he did this himself, he is well damned talented. I moved to his drawer but I refrain from pulling out its contents to see what he has there.

I'm not going to stare, just touch. I reminded myself.

I pulled out my old camera and started to record a video. Once I have enough footage of his entire room, I stop the video and smile in triumph. Even my heart problem fades away. I start towards the door but a shadow blocks my way. I cease to breathe when I stare up at my nightmare.

Ryder