1021 The Lost Colors

Entire cities went up in fire and the streets were littered with corpses. Broken, burnt, torn, sliced bodies that long ceased to breathe were the only constant across the planet.

Entire Pluto had the population of one billion. But Neptune had eight billion people. Even though almost half of them were evacuated, too many were left behind.

Most of them died under this carnage unleashed by the beasts that called themselves abyssals.

Julius watched the video clippings showcasing the horrors.

The tears of the mothers, the heartbreaking whimpers of the fathers, the wails of children and the sobs of the elderly.

The abyssals chased after the humans like they were cattle and slaughtered like it's a competition.

They marked the humans, let them run promising them survival. The injured and weakened people would run with all their strength, and after some time, they'd give birth to a hope that perhaps they were going to survive.

When this hope reached its heighest, the sneaky abyssals would appear in front of them, crushing the only thing these poor people possessed—their hope and kill them brutally.

These soldiers enjoyed crushing the hope in their prey. It gave them the highs no drug could ever give.

"A lot of people died, truly unfortunate." Julius muttered calmly and raised his hand to shut the comm. "But without a Celestial Ranker, humanity will perish. It's an unavoidable sacrifice."

At the last moment, Julius violently pulled his hand back and stared at the clips again. A violent flicker flashed in his eyes as he felt a dissonance with his own body.

"Why am I not feeling anything?" Julius placed his hand on his heart and realized his heartbeat didn't change even one bit after witnessing this tragedy.

Julius never felt the need to introspect. He was always right. But his increasing strength made him feel like something sleeping inside him was unleashed, even if only a bit.

'I can't feel a shred of emotion today but fifty years ago, I…' Julius' mind flashed with a memory.

The spaceship from Uranus to Neptune was attacked by abyssal warships and a forced landing happened on one of the planetoids.

To make matters worse, the spaceship landed in the neutral area between the abyssals and humans.

The abyssals attacked like hounds smelling blood. Human army rushed forward and shielded the 1,000 humans in the spaceship.

It was a tough fight with forces expended on protecting vulnerable people but somehow, they saved the passengers.

Then, the abyssals built up their momentum and marched forward.

The human army fell back and retreated into their bases, ready to play defensive.

Julius back then was still a level 7. He was like many, tensed and injured in the battle.

He happened to be on the defense tower closest to the collapsed spaceship and as the abyssal army was marching toward it, he heard someone's cry.

'Someone is still in there!' Julius' heart sank and he leaned forward.

"Stop! You'll only kill yourself!" The captain of his team grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back.

Julius struggled as his conscience burned. And then he heard a baby's cry. It was soft, almost like a whisper in the night, but he heard it.

And the next thing he knew, he rushed into the spaceship even as the abyssal army almost reached it.

The next hour was the hardest battle in his entire life. He dragged that poor mother and her one-year old baby out of the spaceship and put them to safety.

He stayed in the hospital for three whole months after that, even after being healed by the best potions.

'I…really did that?' Julius recalled the distant memory and the distant emotions.

He knew what he felt back then. The euphoria of saving that mother and child. The grief of even thinking their unfortunate death. The unwillingness to let them die. The selflessness to risk his life for theirs.

Julius 'knew' all of those emotions as he recalled the event. But he couldn't feel them anymore.

It felt…alien, as if he was staring at a past that was no longer his.

'When did this happen? When did I change?' Julius closed his eyes as he dug into his memory, peeling it layer by layer.

Julius believed his drastic change was due to his father's death. But when he really checked his memory, he realized even though he pursued strength as the supreme goal after his father's death, he still cared for people.

He cried when his friends from college died in dangerous missions. He laughed when he played with the little kids of Xander family. He grieved for the death of his father. He was ashamed of the mistakes he did in the past. He felt honored to be a soldier.

Those emotions were the vibrant colors in the canvas of his memory. But at some point, some of the colors began to grow dim and only a few remained.

Rage, pride, arrogance were some that continued while humility, empathy, kindness slowly vanished.

'When? When did it happen? No, at what point did it all begin?' Julius clenched his fists and travelled back in the memory lane.

This year, the last year, the year before….

"Ah!" Julius opened his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. His gaze shifted to the slate with a burning intensity.

'After I got the slate, I was frantically interested in gathering the artifacts and growing stronger. I wanted peace at any cost. I did whatever I could and my methods grew ruthless.'

Julius looked at the item that was responsible for granting him this excellent strength and giving him the chance to establish permanent peace with a complicated expression.

While it did so much good, it also destroyed a part of him. He's no longer who he was. Even his own personality was distorted to the point he didn't even feel it was weird.

Julius felt uncomfortable, like someone violated the deepest part of his soul. And perhaps they did.

If they didn't, Julius was sure he'd be screaming at the horrors in Neptune. He wouldn't be meditating here, waiting for the ritual to complete. He'd rush out at the fastest and save as many lives as he could.

But now, even though he knew he changed, he didn't feel any compulsion to gain back those emotions.

It was just…a thing of the past. Something he didn't need to worry about.

Julius nodded to himself. 'As long as I reach the Celestial Rank, nothing else matters. Once I achieve it, everything will be alright.'

His father told him that strength was everything. And it became Julius' creed. But the way he interpreted it changed sharply after gaining the slate.

But it didn't really bother him much.

Entire humanity was at stake. His emotions didn't really seem that important in comparison. Maybe it's because he didn't have any emotions, he didn't feel sad anyway.

Julius glanced at the screen for one last time and saw Varian fighting Thunder King and the Undead Leader.

"This kid…" Julius glared at the screen. "I'll be stronger than him soon. And then I can deal with him easily. For all the lives he saved, I'll give him an easy death."