584 Sia [2]: Gone
When he returned, night had fallen.
I didn't even realize the day passed.
But I knew that I couldn't stay like this anymore.
I needed to confirm whether he still remembered me or not.
So, in front of his apartment's door, I placed the one thing I always carried with me.
The two figurines—me and Varian were dressed in casual clothes. The black-haired boy and the brown-haired girl held hands and smiled brightly.
Our faces, our clothes, and our smiles—they were all real.
I looked at the gift again, and I couldn't help but grip it tighter.
When I was at my lowest, when I wished for death, this…this little thing kept me going.
This small gift wouldn't sell for much on the market, but even if it could buy me planets, I would never sell it.
It was the symbol of our relationship.
I cherished it with my life.
So, I was nervous when I placed the figurines at the doorstep. To be precise, I put them at eye level on the door.
When Varian returned, I held my breath and watched him reach for his door.
When he saw the figurines, he finally paused and my heart was about to break out of the ribcage.
His eyes showed a bit of confusion, but he quickly grabbed the figurines aggressively.
"Caref—" My voice wasn't heard.
"…What the heck?" Varian fiddled with them for a moment before observing the faces of the figurines.
His gaze stayed on the boy's face only for a while. After confirming that it was the face of his younger self, Varian's expression contorted.
His body shook in what I presumed to be sadness, but—
"Trash!" Varian cursed at the figurine, no, he cursed his younger self.
"You delusional idiot! You worthless fool! You are the one why she's gone!" He growled like an injured beast.
I flinched and took a step back.
I knew he hated himself after her death, but just how much...
"I wish you were never born!"
I wanted to console him.
Yes, even if I have to expose myself, I didn't want him to live a life of self-loathing.
But the moment our distance was a bit close, Varian's body shook violently.
And.
"What the…" He started to bleed from his nose.
He didn't notice it, but my psychic sense noticed it.
It was me.
'No!'
"That bastard did hit me on my nose once," Varian muttered as his bleeding stopped.
I stepped forward once again. Lightly this time.
With each step I took, my heart grew heavier and heavier.
And when I finally crossed the eventual distance, I saw it.
Varian's body, no, every fiber of his being was shaking like it saw its enemy.
"What's happening?" Varian looked around in confusion. Blood started to leak out of his mouth.
When I took another step forward, he started coughing out blood.
"Cough. Cough. Cough."
I gritted my teeth at the site, but hardening my heart, I moved forward.
"Arghhh!" Varian's eyes turned bloodshot and blood started to leak out of his nose too.
I hurriedly stepped back and clenched my fists. My nails dug into my flesh and my palms were utterly bloodied.
I knew for certain now.
His body was rejecting me.
I didn't know how this could happen, but more importantly, I didn't understand why this had to happen.
The moment that question occurred, I wondered if this world hated me.
'Why? Why did it have to be this way?'
No one could hear my question. Even if they could, there was no one with an answer.
But I understood that Varian's condition wouldn't change.
Something happened when Roxanna held me captive.
My eyes suddenly widened as a realization struck me.
His memory.
'When they erased his memory, did they also let his body reject me?' It was a ridiculous thought.
I hurriedly shook my head.
Even I knew it was impossible.
Being a Psychic myself, I could more or less gauge what a Sovereign Psychic could do. Even if an artifact was added, Kreo couldn't control Varian's body.
More importantly, Varian couldn't see me right now.
Then, how could his body actually detect me?
This is beyond even what Sovereigns could accomplish. No artifact was capable of such a feat.
'Then...' I looked at him again.
The man who was as broken as I was.
The secret to this change perhaps was hidden in him.
But if he really had such a big secret, then why wouldn't he still awaken?
'No, it isn't certain that he lost his memories!' I told myself.
Even though Roxanna told me that she erased my memory from everyone, even though she said it with conviction, I want to cling to that tiny bit of hope.
So, when he dismissed the bleeding as a consequence of fighting and went back to viewing the figurines, I was hopeful.
"This is..."
He shifted to my figurine.
The figurine he sculpted with his own hands. The gift for which he slept with bandages covering his hands for a week. The present for which he risked being branded a pervert. The result of his blood, sweat, and dedication.
I closed my eyes and waited for him to call out my name.
Please...
Just tell me you can remember...
My heart sent prayers to the stars.
Before Roxanna, I thought staying away from him was the best course of decision.
But after the hellish life, I realized…I didn't want to stay away from him anymore.
What if I died the next day?
At least, for as long as I'm still alive, I wanted to stay with him.
He might still hate me, but as long as I can see him, as long as I can see him happy, I will be content.
He's the only one I have.
That's why, Varian, please don't forget me…
My heart beats for you.
"Who the hell is she?"
He broke my heart.
He…
He really…
"Did I know her?"
I opened my mouth to cry, but it felt like someone blocked the air in my chest.
Pain.
Deep pain I've never experienced burnt through my heart.
Even the worst torture Roxanna inflicted didn't pain me this much.
Not even close.
But now, I cowered on the ground and started crying.
Like an orphan abandoned by the world, I cried.
"W-Why?!"
"W…Why is this happening to me?"
"W-Heuk!?" I couldn't even speak anymore.
But no matter how much I sobbed, screamed, and wailed, my cries didn't reach the man in front of me.
As I knelt on the floor like a forgotten object, he denied my very existence.
"This stupid prank."
Kacha!
The figurines crashed in front of me.
"No!"
I quickly, but carefully held up the figurines with bloodied hands.
My fingers shook when I touched the blunted edges of the figurine.
It was damaged.
The figurines that symbolized our bond...damaged.
For the first time, I was angry. I glared at him and wanted to ask him to apologize.
"Varia—"
Creak!
But he shut the door on my face.
No.
He didn't even know that I was crying.
He didn't even know the figurines.
He didn't even know I existed.
"I—"
I froze.
I looked at the figurine again.
My body started shaking as my eyes turned red.
The figurines were supposed to be holding hands. Now, their hands were broken.
Our relationship that I cherished, the bond that kept me going through even the worst of my days…
"Arghh!"
It finally hit me.
Everything we built, shared, and cherished...
It was all gone.
