661 The Reunion [Start]
"S...Sia?"
Varian's eyes held a complicated expression as his gaze fixated on her trembling figure.
"Y-Yes…" Sia replied in a trembling voice.
"Haa…" Varian exhaled deeply and collapsed back onto his chair.
He blankly stared at the ceiling.
His heart was in turmoil. His mind was barely churning out thoughts.
He imagined many ways his reunion with Sia could go.
Would he be happy? Would he end up in tears? Would he hug her tightly and tell her she shouldn't run away?
But none of the reunions were silent.
That's how the real reunion turned out.
"…you r-remembered it, right?" Sia took a deep breath and gazed at him with a pale face.
Varian snapped out of his daze and looked at her again. In the past, when she tried to speak to him, he completely ignored her.
It resulted in her leaving for the defense academy and getting captured by Roxanne…
"I remember. Everything." Varian spoke stiffly like he was a robot learning human language.
Sia looked into his eyes and placed her hand on her heart. His eyes had both extremes of emotions.
She gritted her teeth and asked. "Do…do you want to kill me?"
"Huh?" Varian rose from his seat at her words and looked at her in shock. "Sorry?"
"Would you feel better that way?" Sia asked with a wry smile.
"Are you crazy?" Varian sat down with an annoyed expression. "I will feel like shit if I do that."
"…" Sia didn't know what to say, but she was happy at his words.
Her versions of the reunion were different. She was almost certain that Varian would face her with hatred. That he would curse her for Amanda's death and rightfully so.
She was even prepared for 'death'.
So, it was no small matter for her that Varian didn't consider killing her.
Looking at the ground, Varian said. "It's Enigma, right? The one who k-killed mom."
Sia stiffened at his words. She nodded slightly before shaking her head.
"What?"
"Enigma has been sleeping for five hundred years. Even though she has some experience with the outside world, it's like the dreams from sleep.
When my intense emotions woke her up, she only knew that she had to kill something. She…wasn't even properly awake." Sia bit her lip and revealed the truth.
Varian clutched at his knees and said. "…So she was sleepwalking?"
"Hm. And my emotions were the reason she acted that way. It's my responsibility. Not hers. Though…she feels equally guilty." Sia said.
"Haa!" Varian sighed out loud as he leaned back into his chair.
Enigma…
Varian closed his eyes and recalled every interaction he had with her. At first, he thought her attitude was normal.
But the more he interacted with her, the more he realized that she wasn't what she seemed.
Sometimes, she was just socially awkward. The others, she didn't how to deal with emotions.
But of all, she was 'caring' for him.
Until now, he thought it was because he was related to Sia. But thinking back, she nearly died in Pluto.
Out of all the people, she had the worst injuries. She could've stopped fighting and tried to escape.
Even in the Prince's Hall, Enigma fought Charles to tooth and nail. Even when her body was falling apart, Enigma stubbornly tried to kill him.
Why did she have to do that?
She could've escaped.
Just the words 'I quit' would've been sufficient. Once she was sent to the beast garden, her level would revert and her life would no longer be in danger.
Yet, she took the risk.
"She is…" Varian recalled the moment Evander attacked him.
If not for Enigma using her own body to protect him, he'd have died without a doubt.
By doing so, Enigma nearly pushed herself to death.
She'd have never known that he'd find the library and heal her.
Without asking for anything, she sacrificed her life to save his'.
Varian clenched his fists hard. His palms were wet from the hot red liquid that dripped down his fingers.
Finally, Varian raised his head and looked at Sia.
"…Sia," Varian said dryly.
"Y-Yes." Sia's voice still shivered and she lowered her head like a guilty criminal.
"…Is there anything you want to say?"
"It's not Enigma's responsibility, it's mi—"
"Not about that. We are talking to each other after nearly a year. I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to talk to you about. But honestly, my heart is in a mess right now. So, do you have anything to say?" Varian asked in a tired tone.
Sia raised her head and looked at him carefully.
He…He wasn't angry. The rage in his eyes earlier dissipated.
But he still…
"I wish you and Sarah a happy future." Sia bit her lip and said the words that prickled her heart. "We…We met and now you know why I don't want to appear in your life. So, I won't disturb you two."
Varian looked at her silently.
Tears welled up in her eyes, but Sia continued. "E-Enigma will continue her work against the Abyssals. She doesn't want to admit it, and I myself realized only later, but she is doing it out of her guilt."
Varian took a deep breath and propped his chin on his hand. He still didn't say a word.
Sia started sobbing, assuming his silence as acceptance. Even though she felt deserved the punishment, it still hurt.
This was why she never wanted to meet him in the first place. But now that she did, she decided to make things clear.
"I-If you need any help, ask Enigma. Unlike Enigma, I can't wield the path of the third path. So, she's stronger than me. Even though she won't say it, she's happy to help. Anything I can do, Enigma can do it better. So…thank you for everything and sorry for everything." Sia finished her words and collapsed in her seat like a deflated balloon.
Her eyes dazedly stared at the ceiling, complicated emotions swirling in her heart.
Even though there was a tiny hope in her heart, she too knew it was delusional. Now that her hopes were crushed, she accepted reality.
It was never going to be the same again.
As her thoughts descended into a spiral, Varian's serious voice sounded.
"Can Enigma do anything better?"
"Ah…y-yes," Sia replied with a wry smile. 'What was I expecting…I hoped he said something else…I am really hopeless.'
"Anything?" Varian asked again.
"YES!" Sia gripped her fists and said. With each second staying her, her heart was bleeding. She just wanted to cry. She didn't want to talk anymore.
Since he saw the memory , a million thoughts crossed in Varian's mind.
It'd be false to say he held no anger. Not particularly towards Sia or Enigma. But rage towards the unfair situation.
Why did they have to lose control?
Why did his mother have to die?
Even if Sia and Enigma felt sorry, would his mother come back?
Then...
What should he do?
Should he avoid her, hate her and treat her harshly for something that happened because she tried to save his life?
Or kill her or rather Enigma—which would also kill Sia and get revenge?
What would he feel then?
How would he feel killing the one person who despite her own hardships cared for him for a mistake she didn't intentionally commit?
Varian paused for a moment and thought about what his mother would've wanted him to do.
'Save Sia...'
Varian's heart was in a turmoil.
The negative emotions towards Sia or Enigma or perhaps towards himself didn't just dissipate.
But he decided to take a step forward.
Forgiveness or acceptance would take time but...
"Can she cook better than you?"
"Y-Yeeees?" Sia raised her head in confusion.
He had to start somewhere.
