690 Inner Turmoil
Grief filled the air.
An invisible weight seemed to be added as everyone gazed at the sobbing girl with a heavy gaze.
A young girl, who just turned sixteen.
She should've been thinking about her school life. Be excited about her teen life. Pursue her interests and enjoy her youth.
But.
"B-Broth…er…" Wiping away tears that continued to fall, she blankly stared at the letter.
Varian felt his heart twist as he watched her heart break into pieces.
"W-Why…."
Her voice was no longer clear.
"C-Come bac…"
Her eyes which were once stubborn were now hollow.
"I…beg y-you…"
The cheerfulness of her youth was replaced by a sorrow too cruel for her age.
Varian felt his chest grew stuffy as if something was stuck inside but couldn't come out.
Raising his heavy legs, he walked out.
This place.
"P-Please…"
This sorrow.
"Aghhh…"
This reality.
"C-Come back!"
He couldn't face it.
*** *** ***
After they returned home, the frown on Varian's face disappeared.
"Sia, I'm hungry." He said and started watching a random show he never cared about.
Sia signaled to Sarah and went off to kitchen.
Sarah bit her lip and sat next to him.
She held his hand. It was warm and big. Giving her a sense of security.
But now it was also stiff.
"Varian…" She rested her head on his shoulder and called.
"I'm fine." Varian interlocked their fingers and smiled at her.
A relaxed smile.
A perfect smile.
A fake smile.
"Please…" Sarah rubbed his head and said. "I'm also feeling down from what happened. But…"
"Don't worry. I'll be back to normal soon." Varian nodded.
Sarah bit her lip and observed his expression before finally nodding.
Like he said, Varian did get back to normal.
He joked, laughed and chatted as if the morning incident never happened.
Sia and Sarah finally relaxed.
But to ensure he's really fine, they decided to get him a good rest.
"Sleeping together? Really?" Varian's eyes brightened.
They nodded lightly.
Night fell and the lights turned off.
The mansion grew silent.
Sarah and Sia fell asleep holding his hand. Even though they were affected by the incident, they were able to move on.
But.
Varian couldn't sleep.
He stared at the ceiling blankly as he recalled Vin's hollow eyes.
'Her brother was a level 7, right?'
Varian bit his lip and recalled the news he recently heard.
After Evander left, a gap appeared in the defense of Earth's planetoids. Since Julius stepped up, the gap was mostly covered.
But before he did, abyssals used that gap to target the level 7s and took down several of them.
Now, the situation was somewhat stable but the balance in level 7s was broken.
In short, the abyssal side of level 7s was stronger than humans and this was causing a lot of trouble.
'If Vin's brother died, then he should've also died to the level 7 abyssals…'
Since other levels were interlocked with ones of the same level, only level 7s could hunt down level 7s.
It was most likely that Vin's brother was killed by a level 7.
A level 7 like himself.
A level 7 he could've killed.
'What if I…' Varian looked at the night sky and wondered. 'If I didn't take a vacation and went to solve this problem, Vin's brother would've been safe, right?'
Yes.
While he couldn't prevent all deaths, Varian was confident of solving the level 7 problem in a short period of time.
It had been almost two weeks since the vacation started. So, he would've had two weeks of time to take care of the abyssals.
'…Really, Vin's brother didn't have to die.'
If only he didn't spend time here.
'But…was I wrong to spend time for myself?' Varian looked at the sleeping faces of Sarah and Sia.
They seemed to be having a good dream as a beautiful smile hung on their lips.
'…Is the price for their smile his life?'
As he was lost in thoughts, the night ended and a new day began.
Varian acted 'normally' for the most part and spent the day well.
That night too, he couldn't sleep.
'…If I didn't have this vacation, he wouldnt' have died. I…I didn't kill him, but, I always knew there would be deaths and I ignored how many people I could save.'
Guilt gripped his heart and gnawed him from the inside.
He wasn't a soldier.
Nobody would ask him to save their lives.
Nobody would care if he took two weeks vacation or two years vacation.
But.
'I wish someone strong saved my father's life.'
He dreamed that dream many times. He yearned for a hero.
Perhaps, Vin too had the same dream.
The only difference was that if Varian never went for a vacation, her dream could've been a reality.
He would've been the hero.
'Now…it's all over.'
Varian's eyes suddenly froze and his mouth opened. "…Not yet."
Even if he began now, he could save many lives, right?
Yes, Vin's life was indeed devastated.
But every person he could save by going there would also have a loved one, right?
Varian abruptly stood up and walked into the balcony.
The cold breeze of the night hit him in the face and he felt an emotion well inside his heart.
'Go…'
'No more broken families…'
'You don't want to have another kid become like Vin, do you?'
'It's in your hands…'
As he gripped the railing hard and opened his mouth, two painful noises snapped him out of his thoughts.
"V-Var…!"
"D-Don't kill him….."
Varian dashed into the bedroom and froze.
Sarah and Sia closed their eyes tight as sweat rolled down their foreheads. Their faces were pale as tears flowed from the corner of their eyes.
They curled up against the nightmare as they murmured his name.
Varian hurriedly held their hands and lied down.
"V-Var…"
"-ove you…"
Hearing their voices going back to normal, Varian sighed in relief.
Without holding his hand, they too had nightmares. Terrible nightmares.
They were only getting better recently.
'I…'
Varian stared at the ceiling as the breathing of the girls gradually calmed down.
His heart was filled with conflicting thoughts.
The prime reason for this vacation was his worry.
He was worried that if they let their emotions bottle up, it'd burst at once and put them in a dangerous situation.
Varian, no matter how much calm he usually was, lost his mind twice beating up Charles.
What about Sarah?
What about Sia?
If they lost their mind during a fight with their most hated foe, what would happen?
'Their lives would be in grave danger.'
Varian was lucky to survive after falling down the prince's hall.
If he wasn't a Scion, then he wouldn't have been able to convince the wings to turn off the restriction.
He'd have stayed in the prison his whole life. It'd have been a terrifying death.
But would Sarah and Sia also get lucky if they ever lose themselves in anger?
If Sia saw Julius in front of her, would she be able to stop herself from going berserk?
If Sarah saw Kreo, the man who was responsible for her father's plights, would she be able stay sane?
Yes, there were indeed a lot of people who lost their loved ones and if he remained absence, there'd be people who'd continue to lose their families.
But.
'I am the only family for these two.' Varian gripped their hands tighter.
After Amanda's death, except for him, Sia had no one else to call her own.
After Evander's disappearance, Sarah too was orphaned.
'And I...' Varian smiled bitterly.
He had two friends. Kyle and Maya.
He had people he could trust. Seth. Bali. Gareth. Blue Flash.
He had subordinates. Richard.
He had people who could help him. Sovereign Irene.
But.
'I don't have anyone else either.'
Sarah and Sia.
They were his only family.
There were fifty billion humans. They were more than a billion families.
But out of a billion, he had one and just one family.
'I want to protect them at all costs.' Varian hugged Sarah tightly. She seemed to sense his anxiety in sleep as she hugged him back.
'I don't want to lose you or Sia.' Varian felt her heart beat against his.
It was slow and quiet. But it soothed his racing heart. As if it was consoling his worries.
'I'm scared.'
Having lost Sia for a year, Varian could only imagine how terrifying it'd be to lose a person forever.
So, even though it was a little detestable, he decided to be selfish.
'Until I can be rest assured that they'll be fine…'
Varian's eyes shut tightly as he gritted his teeth.
'I'm sorry, Vin...I'm not a hero.'
