Chapter 78 : Seeking Answers

Karenina

She opened her eyes groggily. At first she had no idea where she was. The room she was in was not the one she had been in the last few nights. She tensed, confused.

Then she felt it. A heavy arm wrapped around her waist, a muscular chest inhaling and exhaling deep, slow breaths against her back, and a muscular thigh pressing against her thigh. She was not alone in the strange bed and unfamiliar room.

Suddenly her memories flooded back.

The dinner last night.

The confrontation with Xavier.

The mysterious mark at her side.

She was frightened, in need of comfort, and Xavier gave it to her without protest, without demanding further intimacy.

Turning to her side as gently and slowly as she could, trying not to wake him, she faced him, only to realize that he was already awake when his golden eyes met hers. Karen felt at peace here, nestled against his strong chest, knowing that as long as she was near him, nothing would happen to her. It felt so good to wake up with Xavier, to share a bed with him.

Why?

Don't question that.

For now, she accepted her feelings without thinking about it, not wanting to ruin the moment and make her confused again.

"Are you all right, Karenina?"

His voice, a low murmur, deep and masculine.

How she loved to hear it in the morning.

She smiled at him, her eyes, for once, calm and unwavering.

"You know," she began, "the first thing people say when they wake up is 'good morning.'"

His eyelids dropped as he winked at her, pausing for a moment as if to digest her words before replying.

"Good morning."

She chuckled, then smiled brightly.

"Good morning, Xavier."

He asked her again, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Fine, yeah. I'm not okay," Karen murmured, turning her face away from him. "Can you... hold me a little longer?"

He lifted her chin with a curled finger, forcing her to look up at him. "I'll always keep you safe, Karen."

His words warmed her heart like nothing else, and she clung to him even more, her head resting on his bicep, her hands on his bare chest. She loved the warmth of his body, the unforgettable scent of him filling her senses. Karen felt so precious as he tightened his embrace around her, pulling her closer to him. She felt his nose buried in her hair.

There was a sigh from her, not unhappy, but by then her stomach was rumbling and her face was flushed as she realized she hadn't eaten much last night at dinner before he pulled her away from dinner. She looked over at him to see his reaction, knowing that if Xavier could hear the sound of her stomach, he should be able to as well.

His lips curved into a small smile.

Without thinking, she reached out and touched his thin lips, and he almost bit her finger. Squealing in surprise, Karen pulled her hand back.

"You should smile more often," she murmured when her hand was safely on his chest.

"You already told me that."

She replied, rolling her eyes at him.

"Come on, I'll have the maid bring you some drinks."

"Ah, thank you."

He reluctantly let go of the woman named Karenina - for she was his, after all - and got up, stepping to the side of the bed to call his servant.

She watched with a dry mouth when she noticed that he was wearing nothing but sweatpants, exposing his ample chest and broad back. It was possible for a girl to get used to waking up like that.

She cleared her throat and forced herself to stop staring at him. "Um, Xavier?"

"Hmm?"

She blushed again. "Where's your bathroom?"

Wordlessly, he raised his hand and pointed. She quickly got up from his bed and ran in the direction he indicated, just as a guard answered his call. She let him get her breakfast while she took care of the urgent business of relieving herself.

She returned a few minutes later to find Xavier standing next to the dress she had discarded, the one he had taken off her the night before. How often can a girl blush in the morning before breakfast? Surely it wasn't healthy.

"Uh, I guess I should go back to my room now, huh?"

She saw him turn his head and look at her with a calm gaze.

"Not yet. You should eat first. I've ordered your food to be brought here."

"Oh."

He held out his hand to her in a silent gesture, and she stepped forward with a brief hesitation. His large hand pressed against her lower back, guiding her to the low table and helping her to sit down. They spent the break waiting for breakfast in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence. Instead, it was familiar, even comforting.

Eventually, a breakfast of fruit, cheese, and bread was brought in, along with a cup of tea that she poured for him, not because she had to, but because she wanted to.

Shortly after eating, after swallowing a piece of peach, Karen had an urgent question she wanted answered.

"Xavier?" He lifted his eyes to her with a silent question.

"You said last night that you knew someone who might know what the marks on my side mean. Are we still going to see him this morning?"

"Yes, shortly after breakfast, when you're all dressed up."

"And who is he?"

"Benjamin, an old but wise wolf who has lived for many years."

"An... old wolf?"

******

Xavier

He nodded patiently as she mimicked what he had said to her. Normally, Xavier would have been annoyed to think that someone else was repeating his words, but he found that it didn't bother him that it was her.

She frowned, which he noticed. "Don't worry, Karenina. Benjamin is very knowledgeable and trustworthy."

"Oh, no, that's not what I'm worried about. It's just that... everything that's happened to me is a little scary. Ever since we found out that the wolf aura is getting stronger in me, I can feel it getting stronger, trying to take over. I'm changing, I know I'm changing, and it scares me. What if I'm not ... me anymore if this continues?"

She's still scared, he thought to himself as he watched her pick at her food.

Trying to ease her worries, knowing that he would do anything to reinforce what she was afraid of, he told her, "You don't have to worry..."

But before he could finish, she cut him off with a slightly angry voice.

"Don't tell me I'm worried for no reason, Xavier." She looked at him sharply. "You don't know anything about what I'm going through, so how could you possibly understand? You're not the one who turned into something you're not. How would you feel if you were forced to turn into a human against your will?"

She watched his face intently, looking for an answer.

He had no answers except the horrible thought of losing his wolf soul and becoming a weak and pathetic human. Xavier knew he couldn't tell her that, he knew he would look bad in her eyes.

"I know you well enough, Xavier," she whispered. "The thought of being human makes you miserable. If you were in my place, wouldn't you fight to stay who you are?"

He was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say to her. She was right. If their roles were reversed, he would do anything to prevent the change. But how could he let her stay as she was? A hybrid - especially a half-human one - could never be his mate. That was impossible. She would be dead in four or five decades if she lived to be old enough for a hybrid with human blood. How could he just sit there and watch her leave him as time ticked away?

He couldn't.

Even if he backed out now, stopped his scheme to change her, it might be too late.

Instead, he had to comfort her. He couldn't let Karen sit there and think badly of him. Getting up, he walked around the table and knelt at her side. He raised his hand and stroked the back of her head. When she did not flinch from his touch but closed her eyes, accepting his closeness, he pulled her closer until her forehead was pressed against his chest.

He wrapped his other arm around her back and she snuggled into his arms, turning her body to face him and willingly entering his embrace.

He buried his nose in her temple, her silky hair teasing his face.

"No matter what you become, Karen, I will never leave your side. Whatever your fears, you will not be alone, I swear."

She nodded her head and hugged him as if her life depended on it.

Moments later, he escorted her to her room, leaving her in Helga's capable hands with the promise that he would be back soon to take her to Benjamin.