Chapter 58

—————-Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur.

——————————Faryah's apartment, same morning, 10:00am

" Some neighbours can be so annoying, it's too early to be disturbed you know, it's the weekend for Allah's sake" I groaned as I heard the door bell ring over and over and over again. They were getting on my nerves, Najmah was happily at sleep and now they were disturbing her.

I tied a scarf around my head quickly as I wore my slippers and walked to the door.

"good morning" my eyes almost honestly popped out from where they gracefully sat. Like what the hell.

How did he find me.

What was he even doing here this early morning. He disturbed my beauty sleep just to show up with a smile and a bag I'm sure was full of toys. He almost woke her up for Allah's sake. " Did you have to ring the doorbell like that?" I snapped and watched him smirk.

I was really not in the mood for anybody's charm. " you weren't answering and I got tired of standing" He answered with a cute smile and I rolled my eyes at him. They weren't going to work on me.

" What're you doing here?" I asked as I sighed and I rubbed my eyes. " I came to see my daughter, I'm allowed to see her right?" She asked and I nodded. " you could've easily called or texted before even coming, how did you get my address?"

" You're seriously not asking me that Faryah Edwards, CEO of Georgia Motors ltd" I palmed my face and heard him laugh a little. " Why didn't you call?"

" I wanted to surprise you, SURPRISE!!"he was being too cocky and I didn't like it. At all.

Even a bit.

" Khalid why?"

" For my daughter, won't you let me in?"

" If I want to" I still had to clean up and bath Najmah and myself. I was totally not ready for visitors.

" Guess what?" I said and smirked at him. " what?" He asked. " I won't let you in" I said and slammed the door at his face.

That was going to teach him a lesson. I needed to clean up my home before anybody could come in. He still kept on ringing the doorbell, he was going to give up eventually. I wore my earplugs as I got the Vacuum cleaner from the kitchen and started tidying up. I was happy Najmah was still asleep even with all the noise, she needed her beauty sleep for the company picnic we were having later on at the Central Park.

The picnic was going to be for kids and their Mothers who worked in my company. Najmah was going to meet her friends and have fun. They expected us there by 1:30pm. We were going to see Ummah tomorrow, she wanted to see us.

I tidied up the house and bathed Najmah, dressed her up and made breakfast for her and sat her down in the living room with her toys and some cartoons. I quickly took my bath and dressed up, it was already 11:30am. Khalid had stopped ringing the doorbell. Alhamdulillah. Maybe he went home after all. I walked out of my room and headed to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal and finish up some paper work and work on my speech for the anniversary of the Orphanage home. I kept my laptop and cereal bowl on the table in the kitchen and I headed towards the door, maybe he was still around.

" Are you sure of what you're saying?" I heard a voice ask from outside my door as I moved closer. It was that of one of the security guards. " Yes, I've been ringing the door bell for a while now and I'm sure she's inside, I honestly hope she's not in danger" that was Khalid's voice. I should have honestly expected that he was going to do something like this just to get himself in.

I opened my door my door with a smile and found the security guard fondling with a whole bunch of keys. " Excuse me, good morning" I greeted as I stood to look at them. " oh my you gave us a scare there my love" Khalid was honestly making me sick. I never knew he had a knack for acting. " Ma'am you left your husband worried"

" Excuse me?, my husband?" I asked and laughed a bit. " Yes, he has been ringing the doorbell for an hour and he panicked, don't scare us again like this Ma'am" the security guard said and I nodded. " yes my love don't do that again" Khalid said as he came closer to me and stood beside me, trying to caress my cheek. I moved away from him and sent him a death glare. " I'm going to leave you two now, you should please always be safe and very careful" the security man said and I smiled at him. " Sure sir, thank you very much, Ma'assalam"

" Bissalam" he answered and I closed the door immediately after he left.

" For goodness sake Khalid what is wrong with you?" I snapped in a low voice, I didn't want to disturb Najmah. " You locked me out, it would have been much easier if you had let me in in the first place"

" You didn't tell me you were coming?, why will you come so early in the morning unannounced"

" to surprise you guys and I missed my daughter" I couldn't argue anymore.

" Khalid please the next time you're coming please tell me" I said and sighed. "Fine"

" There she is" I said as I pointed towards Najmah and I walked back to the kitchen.

I needed to calm down.

I sat on my chair and turned my laptop on, I was thinking of preparing a speech for the Anniversary of the Orphanage. Either that or I would just go with what my heart wanted on that day. Saying what I felt from my heart was much much more better. I looked towards Najmah and Khalid as he revealed the gifts and dresses he got for her. The both of them honestly looked like.

We would have honestly been a beautiful family if what happened that faithful day didn't happen. But Allah knows best.

If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have been as tough as I was now.

I wouldn't have found my true love. Khalifa.

A persons first love is always hard to forget, I was never going to forget how Khalid helped me back then. Khalid showed me who he truly was when I was with him but I just couldn't bring myself to trust him again, that trust was what defined our marriage but it's gone now. I loved what Khalifa impacted on me for the past months, his patience and everything he endured made me admire and love him more. Khalid was my first love yes, but I guess he wasn't my true love. I was willing to leave everything behind and start a new chapter of friendship with Khalid, for peace sake and for Najmah's sake.

I wasn't going to deny him his rights as her father. She needed her real father even though she had Khalifa as her father figure. I was more than willing to help Khalid move on from me and get on the right path.

I really believed he could find peace, it was just time we needed and Allah's guidance.

He was definitely going to help us.

" Hey" I heard Khalid call as I heard him sit in the chair in front of me. It's been an hour and I was still doing some paperwork. I needed to stretch. " Hi" I answered without taking my eyes off my laptop.

" I'm sorry for earlier" he started and I looked at him. " it's fine" I answered and looked back at my laptop. " She's adorable, she's just like me, I wanted to let her watch more of her cartoons so here I am"

" cool" I answered as I typed more. I could honestly feel his eyes on me.

"We would have been the perfect family you know" He started. " But we couldn't be"

" I'm so sorry Faryah" He said and I sighed and looked at him, keeping my laptop aside. " Khalid, it's all in the past now, let's just forgive each other and let things slide and just move on"

" Forgive me then, I'm honestly never going to stop begging you for your forgiveness, please forgive me Faryah, for everything, for every pain I caused you, I honestly really just want to live a peaceful life and forget about all the rubbish I did and the mess I turned myself into while you were away, I can't find peace if I can't have you Faryah"

" Khalid, trust me you can, that is why you have Allah" I said and looked at him. He was teary eyed. " Khalid, there is one person in this life who will never stop loving you no matter, no matter the sins you commit, he's always there, he's always there waiting for you to repent genuinely and he will forgive you, he is the most merciful, he's Allah" I said and watched as he tried avoiding my gaze. " Khalid honestly, I know you went through a devastating childhood with your mother and I know that you definitely do not want to be like your Father"

" I almost turned into him, I hit you" he answered. " but it was out of anger, you let Shaytan control you and it's not supposed to be so, Khalid you're a good person and that anger in you, the aggressive part of you needs to die down, the only way we can get rid of that is by praying to Allah, just make Salah, stay a while in your sujood, pour your heart out to him and that's it, you'll be fine, you'll find peace because Allah is always there to listen to you, he is always there to protect and guide you, he loves all his servants equally Khalid"

" If he really did love all his servants, why would he want to see us go through immense pain"

" To test your faith, Khalid, everyday Allah tests his servants with different obstacles and them overcoming makes them be stronger in faith, it makes them believe that Allah is the greatest and with him anything can happen" I said and watched him sigh and look at me.

" So the pain and agony me and my mother went through was all just a test?" He asked and I nodded. " Yes, don't you ever wonder how you were made, not the biological way"

" no"

" well Allah made me, he gave you that soul that's inside you, he's the one that placed you in your mother's womb for nine months, don't you think he deserves all the praises?, no body is like him, he's the one and only God and to him we shall return, he gave us life, why won't we worship him?" I asked and watched him stare at me intently.

" Yeah, Mother said all that" He answered and sighed. " I don't know what to do now honestly" he said and I sighed and got up from my seat. He was still my husband so placing a caring hand on his shoulder wasn't a bad idea. He needed it and I was more than willing to do anything for him to be on the right path.

I walked to where he sat and stood behind him and I placed my small hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. " Khalid, even if I don't love you anymore, I know how good you are, and I'm willing to help you get on the right path, I can't let Shaytan lure you into wasting your life anymore" I said calmly and he placed his warm hand on mine and I felt my body shiver.

For some reason I didn't want to get away from his touch.

He held my hand in his and got up from where he sat and faced me.

The distance between us wasn't advisable for me to keep and my mind was screaming " get away, get away" but my heart wanted to stay.

" Thank you so much Faryah" He said as he walked closer to me slowly and I felt my feet stick to the floor. My body couldn't move. I stared into his dreamy eyes as he kept on moving closer to me.

" I love you soooo much Faryah" he said and leaned in slowly to kiss me.

I couldn't let that happen. Khalifa was going to be sad and mad at me and Allah was to.

I closed my eyes gently as I felt his soft lips on mine, seeking entrance. I really couldn't believe this was happening. Why couldn't I control myself.

I pushed him away and I snapped back to reality. " Khalid No" I said as I moved away from him. " You want it"

" I don't, stop trying to seduce me" I answered and walked back to where I sat. " I'm not trying to seduce you"

" yes you are, it's best if you leave please" I said and I patted my face.

What happened back there Faryah.

I heard the alarm I set buzz and I picked up my phone from the table. It was time to get ready for the picnic. 12:30 pm, I needed to be early, I was in charge of the food, so yes, I really had to be early. " it's best if you leave Khalid" I said as I walked towards the door to open it. " Faryah you still love me"

" No I don't"

" I could feel it, Faryah I can sense it, you still love me, you're just blinded by the so called love you have for this Khalifa dude" he answered and I paused in my heels.

" he was there for me when I needed someone, you weren't, my heart chose and my heart also chose to be away from you and it's right, please leave Khalid" I said and opened up the door for him.

" Face it Khalid, I don't love you anymore, if you really love me, you'll be happy to see me happy and that should be enough you, we're not meant to be together Khalid, sign the divorce papers" I said as he stood in front of me. " I want to see you happy, genuinely"

" Good, then sign the divorce papers"

" I can't bring myself to"

" You'll eventually accept it Khalid, next time you want to see Najmah, tell me first and I'll bring her to you so you can spend time alone with your daughter, learn how to change diapers" I said and he smiled at me.

" we'll see, good bye then"

" Bye" I said and I shut the door.

How could I have let my heart fluctuate like that, I mean I knew I didn't love him anymore but why did my heart play me like that.

How could I have let that annoying, pesky soul play my heart like that.

It was Khalifa I loved and no one else.

No one else.

—————1:10pm—————

I had freshened myself and Najmah up and we were already set to leave for the park. A security men helped me carry the coolers of food to my trunk and I left in no time.

I wasn't going to be late.

I had already called up Khalifa and told him everything that happened, even the heart fluctuation with Khalid and he took it calmly.

In his words, he thinks I still have tiny feels left for Khalid and I didn't want to deny it.

He was telling the truth.

Yes I found him annoying, disgusting, selfish and anything else but deep down I still felt something for the good side he had.

Admitting that to myself was hard but Khalifa helped me, he knew me, honestly I was thankful he did.

He said he was going to help me forget about him completely, we were still going to be in contact because of Najmah and he was going to help me learn how to control my emotions.

It was Khalifa I wanted not Khalid, I knew I was definitely not going to make a mistake.

But Allah knows best.

I was honestly blessed to have Khalifa.

He was at all not the jealous type and I was more than grateful for that.

Alhamdulillah.

I only wanted to help Khalid see things in Allah's light and I ended up almost loosing my consciousness. Allah (SWT) knew who I wanted to be with, our heart is stupid and uncontrollable sometimes, that's why out mind is with us.

People rush into love just by the features the opposite gender wants to show us, that's how marriages end quickly, that's how maltreatment and abuse starts. I didn't want that to happen to me.

At all.

Grandpa didn't think I was going to be treated that way, everyone thought I wasn't going be treated that way. He married off so I could start a new, away from all the bullying in middle school and high school.

He wanted his Faryah to have a good life and here I was having it, only that he wasn't meant to be alive to see me.

I faced a lot in the past years honestly, the rape, the beatings, the loss of my voice and the abuse. I faced them with Allah's guidance and here I was now, enjoying my peace.

I didn't want it to be taken away from me. I was willing to risk anything to keep the peaceful life I had now, all with Allah's help of course.

———————Khalid's Condo.

————————————6:00pm.

She still loved me, I felt it. I felt the spark we had when she was still with me, even though she rejected me, I still felt it. It was undoubtedly still there.

If she thinks I'm going to seriously let her go after this she's very mistaken. She just pushed me to do more.

I wasn't going to let her go with that Nigerian dude. He didn't deserve her love.

I did.

She was going to end up with me in the long run.

I heard the door open and found Mother walking in with a few shopping bags. " Oh you're home" She said as she walked in.

" Yeah, and you're just arriving, where have you been Mother?" I asked as I walked over and helped her with her bags. " well I went to see Zarah and we went shopping, it was fun"

" why did you go see her?"

" well I wanted to talk to her and you know make her feel happy"

" who said she wasn't happy in the first place?" I asked as she went to keep her bags in her room and I took the food she bought to the kitchen.

" I just wanted to make her happy Khalid, by the way, I'm going to see my friend tomorrow?, do you want to tag along, I already talked to her and she said we could meet, she even sent me her address, she doesn't even know I already have it, I got food for us, put it in the microwave" she called from her room.

I had no where else to be and I'm sure Faryah wasn't going to let me see Najmah tomorrow, I could take her, but I didn't want all the Arabian Aunty's questions.

She probably had a cute daughter she was going to set me up with.

Nope.

No way. Faryah all the way.