CHAPTER 36 "DO YOU REGRET IT?"

IT was already dark outside the window when Daniel woke up hugging Ara who was still sound asleep. The only light coming through the open window of his room is from the electric pole outside their house.

But despite that, that light is still enough for him to observe the deep sleep of the beautiful face beside him that is still resting on his chest.

The warm feeling quickly caressed Daniel's heart as he gazed at the most beautiful face he had ever seen in his entire life.

If what the doctor told him that he was about to die is true, that he would probably live only four to six months, chances are that he would just spend those times with Ara.

He didn't know if Ara's parents would agree to such a setup but he still wanted to try. Even if they say that something has happened to them already, it still won't change the fact that he loves her very much and that his love for her hasn't diminished even in the slightest and instead has intensified even more.

For a while, he chose to stay that way. He is satisfied while watching Ara's deep sleep. If only they could stay that way. Hopefully, heaven has its own way. At the thought, his eyes quickly warmed up because of his sudden longing to cry.

He knew he had no right to question God’s plan for his life but this time, he couldn’t help it. Why all this has to happen now? And if his life would end this soon, why did he have to meet Ara?

He knew Ara would be hurt too much. But he was sure it would hurt her more if he continued his earlier plan of avoiding her.

At that moment the young man felt severe pain in his throat. Then his tears flowed continuously, which he quickly dried.

"D-Daniel? Are you crying?" because it's dark and his eyes are clouded with tears, Daniel did not notice that Ara is already awake.

Even before he could even answer, Ara got up and pulled the blanket to cover her naked body. While Daniel reached for the lampshade on the bedside table of the bed, he lit it.

"I'm okay, maybe I'm just too happy," he told her as he lovingly gazes at her face.

Ara stared at him unconvinced. And he wasn't wrong because that's what the young lady said when she spoke.

"I know you have a problem, you can tell me about it. Don't be afraid and don't be ashamed either. Now that I will soon be your wife, I will be your ally at all times and in all the problems that you will face," Ara said in her usual kind tone then started drying the tears on his face with her own hand.

That was when Daniel thought that Ara was right about what she said.

If there is one person in the world who needs to know everything about him no matter how painful or happy, it must be Ara. But because of his fear he chose to keep everything to himself, so now that is the reason why he is carrying it alone, he is struggling alone.

"It's something serious," he said again feeling what seemed to be a heavy lump blocking his throat.

Ara didn't speak and just remained to stare at his face. She is obviously waiting for the rest that he wanted to say so he continued.

“I lied to you about the real cause of the many bruises on my body,” he begins as he continues to suppress his own emotions.

"W-What do you mean?" along with the trembling in the tone of Ara's voice is the drawing of intense concern in her eyes which started to torment Daniel's heart greatly.

He took a deep breath to somehow loosen his tight chest. He then took the young lady's hand, lifted it, and kissed it. He didn’t know how to tell everything to his girlfriend in a way that would be lighter and she wouldn’t hurt too much.

"P-Please, what are you saying? You're making me nervous," when he remained silent and just stared at her face Ara spoke again in a now more worried tone.

It was then that Daniel gathered all the courage he had before he opened his mouth to speak. But along with the first words that came out of her lips were the breaking of his voice and the welling of his tears.

"I-I'm dying, Acute Myeloid Leukemia," he said quickly wiping away his tears then tried to steady his voice.

Ara's eyes widened at what she was heard at the same time she covered her own mouth with her hands due to a sob that escapes her mouth and as he had before, tears were flowing freely from her eyes now.

"Please, don't be like that, It will make me feel sadder and hopeless," he said pulling Ara closer ang hugged her tightly.

"That's not true, isn't it? You're just kidding?" between sobs, that's what Ara said.

He stared at his girlfriend's beautiful face for a long time and then lovingly kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm going to get medical treatment, I believe I'll get better and I'll be with you for a long time," he replied instead.

When he said that, Ara started to cry out loud.

"You mean it's true? Your illness is that serious? Why didn't you tell me right away?" Ara asked angrily then distanced herself from him.

"Please, sweetheart let me explain," he pleaded but the young lady quickly stood up.

She is angry and he knew it, he could see it in her actions as she dressed and also in the frequency of her shedding tears. When he saw that Ara is about to finish, he did the same. He couldn't let her go like this, not in this kind of situation that they have now.

It is normal for Ara to be angry with him for what he did and he understands that. But he will not allow that in the short time that he has left in this world he will not be able to be with the woman he loves the most, the woman who is now the meaning of his life.

"Please, don't do this to me," he said hugging Ara tightly as she was about to walk out the door.

After that, he reached for the switch so that the light completely engulfed the whole room.

"Y-You have no right to put me in such a difficult situation! You bastard! I was able to give you myself!" her furious rebuke then slapped him hard on the face.

"Why, do you think I liked this?" Daniel asked in a tone that is full of resentment and at the same time he is obviously asking for some understanding as he pleads."I hope you can also see the hardship I'm going through, I still don't want to die, I still have a lot to do in life, I still want to build a nice house, I want to marry you and to have a happy family with you!"

"But you shouldn't have lied to me! Why didn't you tell me the truth right away?" Ara is still crying when she shouted at him.

"I-I'm sorry, that's the only option I can think of so you don't get hurt," he explained.

"But I'm still hurt, aren't I? Now that something has happened to us, what will happen to me Daniel?" with that question, Ara finally sat on the edge of his bed and then buried her face in her own palms to pour out her more intense crying.

"Do you regret it? Do you regret what happened?" he did not want resentment to overwhelm the tone of his voice but that is still what happened. "Tell me now, didn't I offer you marriage a while ago? You agreed because you don't know about my illness yet, now that you know, are you still willing to marry someone like me who will die in a few months? "