Secrets

One of the first things that Jasmine teaches Amillia is how to recognize and control her emotions, especially since she’s pregnant that’s one of the more important lessons for her to learn right now. Amillia has been all over the place with her moods. One minute she’s happy and the other she’s angry and upset with both Jasmine and Damian.

Jasmine managed to convince the rest of the tribe to let Damian stay as long as Amillia is there to help assist with her training. The elves have their own interpretation of the prophecy given about the Black family, and their interpretation isn’t one that is widely known. There’s a reason they have kept it all a secret. Even though the elves don’t trust Damian, or actually more like even though over half the elven tribes hate Damian because of who he is and what all he has done in his past, especially to them, they have agreed to allow him to stay in their land to assist with Amillia.

Amillia had been expecting to enter straight into hard training. She had expected to start training her body and her magic immediately, but instead, what she gets is a lesson on herself. Apparently, elves are fairly big on understanding oneself and what is one’s motivation and reason for being. It’s how they stay connected to themselves, each other, and all of nature and nature’s creatures. It’s what helps make them special and above all the others.

Not only has Amillia been practicing on her inner strength she has also been learning about all the different worlds and all the different creatures that could be contained within each world. Amillia got excited to hear about unicorns, leprechauns, and fairies, although Jasmine made sure to point out a distinct difference between fairies and pixies and even went into details about the different types of fairies that could exist.

There is one slight problem that keeps playing in the back of Jasmines and Damian’s minds though, and that’s the issue of Erik. The underworld isn’t going to hold him for long, especially if the Lord of Darkness, or even if Carrick want to use him then they can release him back into the mortal world, and from there he can track Amillia and use portals to other worlds to find her. Of course, neither of them voice their opinion out loud to Amillia, everything is going well and she’s doing good, and the baby is growing strong and healthy. There’s no use in adding worry and stress to her if it’s not necessary.

(Amillia)

It’s been six months since we first came here, and everyone has been nice. Well, they’ve been nice to me anyways, not so friendly to Damian though, and after hearing a few of their stories I can understand why. Apparently there used to be a lot more elves in this world, a whole lot more, until Damian and an army decided to invade this world and wreak havoc on everyone and everything.

That’s the reason that Jasmine came to this world. The high elf that had been in charge opened the portal to this world to Damian and allowed him to bring the darkness into this world, which he did ever so willingly. Apparently he’s this big bad demon, the son of Satan, literally, and no one here is a fan at all of his.

Damian hasn’t been nothing but one of the nicest, sweetest persons to ever exist to me, even despite all the dirty looks and whispers that surround him daily. He doesn’t get mad or irate at the people talking, he just holds his head high and goes about his business. In fact, he doesn’t really socialize with anyone else here unless it has something to do with me. He’s been very active in my training and keeping up with the progress of the pregnancy. I’ve actually heard a few people wonder if he’s the father, no one ever bothered to question why Jasmine is so interested in helping me though, they all just assume it’s because of who I am.

I have mixed emotions though. I still love Erik and wonder how he’s doing in the underworld, of course he can’t be alright, from what I know of the place it’s not anywhere someone would want to be. Quit the opposite in fact. Damian has told me a lot about the place, all that he’s willing too for now anyways. I can tell he’s keeping secrets from me and omitting some of the truth of things, although I’m not sure. I’m not going to judge him for his past because almost everyone has a past and are sorry and regretful for something. At least he feels bad for what he’s done in his life, unlike some other people here, which I’ve realized and learned the hard way.

The conflict comes with my feelings for Damian though. I shouldn’t have feelings for the son of the Lord of Darkness. The second worst creature to ever be created, of course his father is worse, but still. I still have feelings for Erik, but nothing like I did. If I’m being honest with myself all those feelings that I had had for Erik at one point in time have all changed and refocused themselves on Damian. I’m not quite sure how I feel about how I’m feeling. Does that make sense?

Of course, it doesn’t make sense. All these hormones and my body changing are driving me mad, even though Jasmine and the midwife says it’s completely normal, it’s still so irritating. Like one minute I’m happy, then I’ll be sad and crying, and I just don’t know what I’m feeling anymore.

I have a feeling that’s why Jasmine asked me to start keeping a journal. She said it would help me with clearing my head and keeping my emotions straight, but sometimes I wonder if she just wanted me to start writing everything down, so I’d stop complaining to everyone else about it.

They don’t know this, and I don’t want to tell anyone, but I so heard a few of the elves here talking to Jasmine about me losing control of my powers because my emotions are out of control right now. I feel as if it should be a given considering that I’m young and I don’t know my powers like that, the only thing I know about them is what I learned practicing with Erik, which isn’t much apparently, and these people should understand this fact. It shouldn’t be so hard to understand.

Jasmine and her midwife friend, Alyssa, have been nice as can be though, and have done everything possible to keep the others here from throwing fits about Damian and I being here. There’s not much that others can do when the high elf is telling you what to do. Jasmine is respected since she is the one closest to their “god” and the most powerful one of them all. No one wants to go against her.

When we first arrived here I had expected to be taught how to fight, how to defend myself, but I had been mistaken. While the elves are powerful beyond most other supernatural beings, they are more peaceful than warriors, they are only warriors when necessary according to them. So, for the last six months, I’ve been learning about myself, doing self-exploration, learning how to control my thoughts and emotions. Jasmine and Damian both agree that self-control will help me to harness my powers and become stronger than what I would normally be as a loose cannon, which is pretty freaking strong if I must be honest. I’ve got the chance to practice my magic a few times, and they have been right so far, my emotions so totally affect my powers.

I overheard Damian and Jasmine talking the other day. They’re concerned about Erik getting out of hell. After all, the Wyatt family is working for Carrick, who is one of the leaders of a piece of hell, one of the Lord of Darkness’s right-hand men, therefor the underworld won’t be able to hold Erik for long. Someone will send him back to one of the worlds, and more than likely the mortal world, eventually.

They’re concerned he’s going to come for me and our child. Which, knowing Erik of course he is because no matter what anyone does to him he’s too stubborn to lose himself completely. Erik and I have always loved each other and have had a connection. Us being the only two to remember Jasmine ever being in the Wyatt family’s lives and my family as well made sure that we would connect on some level or another. Of course, if, I mean when, he escapes the underworld he’s going to come for us. The question is will it be to try to reunite us or to try to kill us. It’s fifty-fifty either way.

I also overheard Jasmine and the midwife talking as well. I swear these people just don’t understand that sound carries in this place, and they really need to start making sure of where everyone is in their vicinity before they start trying to talk secrets. I overhear way to much sometimes it feels like. Alyssa told Jasmine that my child is very powerful and that the power the child carries me may kill me when I brin the baby into this world. She told Jasmine that they needed a plan B in case something happens to me during labor. They also said that it needs to stay quiet and that Damian, nor I, need to know that my life is in danger.

While being here they have told me numerous times that my destiny is great and that I exist for a reason, that my life has a purpose. Whatever is meant to be will be. Why would they need a plan B if I die then? Wouldn’t that mean that my life’s only purpose here is to bring this child into he world? Why would they act nervous about that fact and about the fact that my child is going to be extremely powerful? What does it matter if our fates and destinies are already set into stone and whatever is meant to be will be? Why worry about it then?

I’m so confused, I hate being confused, and on top of the confusion I’m hormonal and fat too!! Like come one now people, let’s get with the program. Why can’t they just be honest with me, with Damian, and let us know what exactly is going on? Hell, maybe there’s something one of us can do to stop their concerns from coming true. I don’t want to die, I’m too young to die. I also don’t want to leave my kid without a mother.

Maybe this journaling idea is a good thing. It’s not like I can voice my truths to anyone here. No one is being completely honest with me so why should I in turn be completely honest and trust them? Shouldn’t trust and honesty work both ways?

If I’m honest with myself, I’m scared. I’m very scared. I’m scared of dying and I’m scared of Erik finding us, and I’m scared of the unknown. That’s the biggest emotion I have right now is fear. I hate it. I hate being scared and having this feeling all the time. It’s not just sometimes either, it’s all the time. It’s making me paranoid, and it sucks.

I’m so close to having this child it’s not even funny. I swear this last month has felt like a never-ending year that is still ongoing. The mid wife tells me not to want to rush things to just relax and the baby will come when it’s ready. I wish I could roll my eyes in writing because patience is NOT one of my strong point at this moment in time.

No one still has yet to mention to me or Damian that danger that I’m in the moment I go into labor, although they are sure the hell haven’t bothered to spare me any of the details of the whole pushing another human out of your body details. I think I’d rather hear about how I may die in labor instead of what’s going to happen to my body during that time. I may never understand why women actually choose to go through all of this, and multiple times too!

Speaking of Damian, he has been the sweetest person ever! Like, the way that he treats me as if I’m made of some sort of breakable gold is not the way that everyone here has painted the picture of him being. He’s completely opposite of the person that everyone fears and loathes. They do say that people can change, although everyone here doubts that the son of the Lord of Darkness is actually one of those people. Not all people change, only those who want too and those who choose too. It’s all about the choices we make, or at least that’s what they teach here.

Alyssa and Jasmine still haven’t realized that I’m really one nosey person and that I listen to their conversations even when they don’t think that I am. There’s a way to stop me from dying but they don’t want to do it, and they don’t want Damian to know anything because they know that he will do it no matter what they say. They’re willing to let me die than to let any bit of the darkness taint my pure white soul.

The sad thing is that they are also planning on raising my child as one of their own after the powers it possess takes me out of this world. They have a plan to hide it from Erik and keep him from ever being able to find it because there’s no way that the Lord of Darkness should ever have his hands on my child. That would be bad for all of the worlds, which, apparently, there’s quite a few different one’s that exist. That’s something I didn’t know, but it makes sense.

I’m not happy with their plan. Nope, I don’t like it all. I’d rather take my chances with the darkness and whatever else it would take to live than die and leave my child to be raised as a weapon or whatever Jasmine and her elven clan have planned for it. My kid is not a weapon, it’s a living breathing person and that’s how it should be treated. It should be raised with the love of its mother, not as something to be used to manipulate others and as a means to control power that shouldn’t be given to anyone others than those already blessed with it.

Maybe I’m just more bitchy with the baby close to coming, I’m not sure. What I do know is that I really want to tell Damian what’s going on and the plan that these women have. As protective as he’s been over me and this baby there’s no way he’d ever let any of them go through with the plan of letting me die and taking my child to raise as their own. I have a feeling he’d kill them all first if he couldn’t save me, and then he’d be the one with my child. That is the only reason that I’ve debated telling him, I know his past and I know who he is truly, do I really want that for my child?

I hate this whole situation. I’m so mad at the fates for allowing this to be a part of my destiny. What had I done to deserve this? What did my child do? Why are we being punished? None of this makes sense at all to me. I’m too young to die. I don’t want to die.

(3rd Person- Past)

Damian is setting with Amillia in her room. They had been granted permission to have their own cottage on the outskirts of town where Jasmine and the midwife would visit them daily for training and check-ups. It’s quiet and peaceful out here, but Damian is well aware of the fact that they just don’t want either of them to mingle with the other citizens of this place. He knows that they don’t trust them, especially him, and the feeling is mutual, or at least it is with everyone else except Jasmine. He does trust Jasmine to a certain extent.

Amillia had been writing in her journal when Damian walked into the room. She’s been adamant about sticking to that here lately, which makes Damian wonder what’s on her mind. He has noticed that the only times she writes is when something is bothering her, but he doesn’t push her for details. If she wanted him to know she would tell him and apparently whatever it is she doesn’t want him to know.

But, what no one here seems to realize, or remember on some of their parts, is that Damian has his ways of finding stuff out. He doesn’t like seeing Amillia stressed and worried and being so close to going into labor he’s well aware that any bit of stress isn’t good for her or her child. It actually angers him that these people who he trusts to take care of her are the one’s causing her the most harm right now. He wants to know why and what’s going on.

He didn’t want to openly invade Amillia’s privacy, not so openly anyways, so instead he settles for spying on Alyssa and Jasmine when they aren’t around Amillia. He has a sneaking suspicion that Amillia is doing the same thing he is, after all, they had discussed that something was off with Alyssa for a couple of months now. Although neither of them ever divulged further into the matter, they both knew that something was wrong.

Alyssa is extremely concerned about the powers that Amillia’s baby may or will possess once it’s born. They haven’t bothered to let Amillia try her powers the whole time she’s been here out of fear that the child she’s carrying will make her stronger. Which is crap. How is she supposed to learn if no one is willing to teach her or at least let her try her own strength?

After Damian learned about Alyssa’s concern with Amillia’s powers and the powers of her unborn child, Damian had decided to take it upon himself the last month of her pregnancy to see what she could do. He wanted to know if her worries were legitimate or if they were founded on an opinion, because to him someone’s opinion normally doesn’t mean anything. If the elves aren’t going to do what they’re supposed to do while they’re here Damian will take it upon himself to get it done. The whole point in them staying is so that Amillia could train and learn what she would need too to complete her destiny.

It doesn’t bother Damian too much that the two women not helping Amillia as they had planned, what set him off is when he overheard them talking about the powers the unborn child has may kill Amillia and concern that Erik will come for his child. It boiled his blood to hear Alyssa even suggest they give up and just let Amillia die so that they can raise her child as their own and manipulate the fates and form the child into what they want it to be instead of whomever it’s meant to be.

There’s only one way for Amillia to survive giving birth to as much power as she is about to give birth too, and that’s consume more power, a different power, and that’s when Damian realized that he could share what he has with her and then she and the baby will both survive. Sometimes magical beings have a hard time when it comes to procreating and producing other magical beings, this apparently is one of those times. The question is, how does he give Amillia some of his powers without everyone else realizing what he has done? If they find out it’s going to make things worse.

Damian never left Amillia’s side after overhearing Alyssa’s plan for her. He wasn’t about to let someone hurt her. He doesn’t quite understand it himself, but there’s something about Amillia that he’s just drawn too. He has never been one to be able to feel emotions, but something’s different, it’s as if he may be actually starting to feel something, although what that something is he isn’t quite sure of. What he does know is that he is feeling some type of way.