40

Eloise

" Hello love of my life. It is with few words that I come through this letter to tell you how much I love you, that you are the most beautiful and good thing that happened in my entire existence, my love for you is so great that The pain of longing becomes a little chip, I miss you so much that I'm really going crazy, I dream of you every day and I can't wait to have you back in my arms. You are mine. Every part of you you're mine. Your body, your smile, your kisses, your love and your soul. I own you, even though I'm not here now, you'll be mine forever. I'll go get you my little girl , I beg you to wait for me." -With all my love, Julian.

Tears hot as fire ran down my face as I read the letter that Agnelo had given me a few minutes ago. My heart was a drum inside my chest and my hands shook like a green stick. I could hardly believe I was reading my love's words, happiness was not enough to describe just reading it.

"Hey my love... I miss you so much!" I exclaimed when, in the midst of tears, I wrote to him too, at Agnelo's request. Then I gave the letter a long kiss and handed it to the tall man with a bad face in front of me.

"In case I'm not clear. Julian has never loved anyone, and he loves you very much Miss Espinoza. I've never seen a man love anyone like that, in fact I've never seen anyone love anyone the way you love each other and you can see it." He said and paused. "Well, I have to go. You'll have him back soon." It just concluded and before I could say thank you the man was already outside.

I sat on the couch hopeful after his words and wondered what our life would be like after he found out he was going to be a father. Heavens! I remembered at that exact moment that I had not mentioned this in the letter, due to the rod and the few words asked by Agnelo, to announce it to him, it would have to be in a special way, and as I had faith that my love would return soon to me, that way I would tell it correctly, with a nice surprise in which I could see his reaction.

I came back from my thoughts with Olivia screaming in my ear.

"He is gone?!" she asked.

"What!?" I exclaimed with fright.

"The hottie! Already gone?" she asked restlessly.

"Just left." I replied with a frown.

"Shit!" She muttered in disappointment. She had run to the bathroom to fix her hair and put on a light lipstick, hoping to be noticed by Agnelo.

"Run there's still time, you can make the excuse that you have to go to the hospital, which is not a lie, since João is on his way here." I opined and the same without blinking had already disappeared from my front.

I laughed at my friend's silly attitude, the truth was that Olivia had never been so obsessed with a man to this extent. After the next five minutes, I was sure she had gotten the ride because she didn't come back.

So I decided to go upstairs and take a shower, not without first taking a look at Dona Florence's room, I felt anxious at that moment, she should have been there, but she wasn't. It was so painful, suddenly I started to feel a strange sensation, a tightness in my heart as if something very bad was going to happen, I was so afraid of that feeling that I ran to the bath in order to forget the bad feeling.

Already in the bathroom and naked, I looked at the mirror and observed my body, there were no more marks, Julian's marks on me, I missed it so much, so much sadness, apart from the part of the letter, which made me extremely happy, the rest seemed a sad day, the sky seemed to be bronze and the wind slow. I also looked at my still flat stomach and smiled thinking of the angelic face of a baby, maybe with red hair, or also with dark hair like Julian's.

I smoothed her and felt so much love, so much desire to have him with me right away. Then I went to the shower and took a long shower, approximately 30 minutes, in which I remembered all the important moments of my life, starting with my grandmother and ending with Julian putting a baby in my belly.

That day I would have my first prenatal care and my first pregnancy appointment, I would find out how many days I was, if everything was fine with the baby and with me, they would also prescribe meds and vitamins for my process. João was going to my house to accompany me for the consultation, he was much closer to me after finding out about the baby, more than usual. It was my nephew over there, my nephew over here, the focus wasn't even on me anymore.

When he arrived, we immediately went to the maternity ward where my grandmother had a health plan. As soon as I was seen, the obstetrician told me that I had a very healthy mini baby and that I was six weeks old, when she put on the heartbeat for me to hear, I cried like a child, which was nothing new for anyone since my life in the last few weeks was summed up in tears after tears, whether of sadness, longing, emotion and joy.

We left there with João feeling emotional and me with swollen eyes. From there we quickly went to the hospital to see grandma, with the ultrasound photos printed. But once we got there, my world stopped when I saw Olivia sitting desperately on the floor outside Grandma's room. I wanted to be in a nightmare and wake up soon, but it was as real as hell. My heart was racing and my hands were freezing, I felt my mouth go dry just realizing that something was wrong.

The reaction of my friend next to me was no different, he soon grabbed my hand and looked at me terrified.

"Liv! What happened?" I asked quickly approaching her on the ground.

"Oh God! I can't, I can't speak." Olivia tried to say but the tears prevented her, I started to despair at that moment, I still didn't know what was happening but I already imagined that it was very bad and it was about my queen.

"Please Olivia... What is it?" João tried one more time, he swallowed hard and tried one more time to be strong for both of us.

"She had a meltdown." In a under she said. "Doctors put her on life support." In another hiccup he concluded. "And she went into cardiac arrest."

"Not there!" I screamed feeling a sharp pain hit my heart.

It all got worse when a doctor dripping with sweat appeared in the hallway with the worst news of my life. That was the end for me, it was as if my heart had stopped beating, the pain was unbearable and the air was lacking in my lungs, the strength to stand was minimal when in a blur I saw Olivia's despair and everything turning to around me as I begged for it to be a lie, for her to come back to call me her daughter, to say she would take care of me.

"You say it's not true? Please..." I asked in a low voice.

"I'm very sorry." The doctor responded with a look of compassion.

My Flower, my mother, my queen, my world, is gone. I no longer had the will to live, I wanted to go into a hole and never come out, I could be being selfish, but it was inevitable not to feel this way.

"No no no no no!!!" I screamed several times feeling João's arms wrap around me and his wet face find mine. Then he ran to Olivia and hugged her until she calmed down a bit.

When everything went dark around me, I wished for death.

Suddenly I opened my eyes with difficulty and I felt extremely bad, I was still alive while part of me was gone. I was in a hospital bed and Olivia was next to me, also in a bed. João was looking outside and I noticed that he was crying. I felt like crap when he had to be strong for everyone, comfort everyone when he had no one to hold him.

So I got up with difficulty, seeing everything revolve around me and walked towards him, as soon as I approached, I put my arms around his body and hugged him, thus trying to alleviate a pain that would never pass, between sobs he turned to face me. me and rested her head on my neck, allowing herself to finally collapse in this way.