Chapter 22 Bathtub 3 / Five Hours and a Half

----FLASHBACK-----

August 10, 2015

Baguio City, Philippines

It was raining cats and dogs. The threatening flashes of lightning and the rolling thunder clearly implying that the storm wouldn't end very soon. Thera's body was slightly shaking. She had nothing but her underwear on, which made the cold slowly take over her exposed body.

Sean took a deep breath seeing her shivering terribly. He grabbed her wet clothes from her hand and led her towards the tub. His gesture forced Thera to submission. The only thing she could feel deep within was complete numbness. On top of that, her brain refused to function well at that moment.

What does she have to do for them to get back on track like how they used to? Was there any hope left for them to do so? She was fooling herself; she was aware of that. However, she wanted to get enlightened one way or another.

Whatever happened that night after their wedding was something they had to talk through. It was hardly her fault, but Sean didn't show any intentions to explain to her at all.

"Thera…"

"Please leave me be for a while. I need some space right now so I can think," she quietly asked.

Sean hesitated for a moment, but after contemplating for a few seconds, he finally left the room to herself. Now, all she could hear was her breathing and the tiny drops of water in the tub.

Thera curled up in the bathtub as soon as Sean took his way out. She was expecting herself to burst out crying, but there seemed to be no tears coming out from her eyes. For twenty-five minutes, all she did was stare at nothingness.

She let her body slide into the tub. Closing her eyes, she felt the warmth soaked her skin until she was fully immersed in the water.

Death could be sweeter. She wanted to just disappear. Thinking maybe, in some way, it could lessen the weight she was carrying in her chest. But at the same time, she viewed life as the most essential thing in the world. Sad to say, her father breathed his last way too soon.

Why does loving someone have to be painful? If it's sad, why do people still choose to love? How could they afford to live their life like normal, knowing that the kind of pain actually existed?

"Thera?" Sean called her behind the door with a few knocks.

However, since she was dipped into the water, she could barely hear his call. She didn't even notice the door slammed open after hearing no response from her.

"Thera!" Sean yelled, terrified. He rushed towards the tub. He then grabbed her by the shoulder to get her out of the water.

Thera gasped. Confusion registered in her eyes, seeing Sean's face looking pale in fear. He was staring at her intently.

"Are you crazy?" his voice echoed in the small-spaced bathroom.

She watched him pant heavily. Meanwhile, he was gazing at her with a hint of anger crossed in his eyes. However, it seemed like it was directed against himself rather than at her.

"I'm not going to kill myself," struggling, she managed to say it to him.

Thera heaved out a sigh before pulling the bathroom door closed. She hung dry her wet clothes in the bathroom, so Sean lent her his sweatshirt and boxer shorts for the time being. She even had to put a safety pin on its waistline since the size was too big for her. By the time she reached the living room, Sean was sitting comfortably on the couch with the television in front of it switched on. Thera folded her arms. The man in the room stood straight, trying to avoid his gaze from her.

"I'll lead you to the guest room."

She silently followed behind him. Sean took her to a room just right beside his suite. He opened the door for her, and she stepped in without saying a word.

He cleared his throat after a few seconds. "Rest well,"

Thera didn't respond. She just pushed the door closed as soon as Sean left the room. Immediately, she slumped her back on the side of the bed. Her head leaned against the window with thick curtains down to seal away the cold from the outside. The wind was trying to force its way through the curtains. It had been an hour since the typhoon made landfall. Perhaps, it will subside tomorrow morning. She wrapped her arms around her knees. Just like how Sean treated her, the weather was too cold for her to bear.

She stayed in that same position when she heard the loud clap of thunder from a distance. She gasped in fear when it was followed by an electricity shutdown. Fear started to creep into her. She was now surrounded by darkness. Even the lamp post from the outside had dimmed out. She thought of her phone. Then her shoulders flopped in frustration, realizing that she left her phone in the car. It could have provided her a little bit of light, at least.

She remained motionless for the next couple of minutes, waiting patiently for the power to be back. Another deafening roar of thunder brought her hand to her ears, enough to make her scream in fear. She closed her eyes and held her breath. She felt like lightning was way too close to the villa. Her mind was preoccupied with the idea that what if the next strike of lightning will hit her. She could not help but panic. But she could not run to seek comfort and security to anyone now. There's no one in the house with her but Sean. She doubted that he would give her safety no matter how hard she'd try.

Shortly afterward, Thera felt someone else's presence in the room. She wanted to open her eyes to confirm who it was, but terror overpowered her.

"It's me, Thera. It's fine…"

She thought she was being played by her thoughts until someone shook her shoulders. Her eyes slowly squeezed open, revealing Sean's worried face. He had a kerosene lamp in hand, and he was kneeling right in front of her. His voice was soothing, the palm of his hand was warm, and his expression was sincere. Somehow, she felt secured by the way he said those words to her. An assurance she didn't want to hold on to anymore.

Now that Sean was here, Thera somehow felt that she would no longer get affected just if the lightning would strike her at any given moment. Slowly, she removed her hands from her ears. The amount of light provided with the lamp was enough to see half of his face.

"Why didn't you run to my room when you were this scared?" he whispered to her. He was observing her.

"W-why should I?" she mumbled. "You probably won't be glad if I did,"

Sean couldn't grasp a word to say. He let go of her hand. He stood from kneeling and sat right next to her. A deep sigh escaped from her mouth. How long had it been since she last sat beside him? Five years? And yet, it felt like it never really happened.

"Forget everything about me, Thera. I don't want to hurt you anymore,"

She swallowed hard. The emotions they used to share had long disconnected them. So did communication. The feelings Sean used to confess to her a long time ago felt momentary for her now. That the wedding proposal only caught her by surprise. Then she had come to her senses after their marriage. No. Sean meant every word he said. Then and now.

He used to promise her that he won't love any woman other than her. But now, he was telling her that he no longer felt anything towards her. That he had forgotten everything they used to have, and it kept stirring her badly. For her, it will forever be engraved in her mind and heart. Thera began to recall everything- the love he had given to her and the moments they used to share. How her heart skipped a beat when they first held each other's gazes. How his first smile caused her heart to go frantic. Her awkward response to his kisses due to her lack of experience in romance. How could a girl like her ever forget her epic-fail first kiss? Their marriage vows, especially hers, it was a sleepless night for her. Her first heartbreak. When and where it took place. Everything still lingered in her mind in vivid details.

Thera's chest felt heavy, as if she was carrying the weight of those beautiful and painful memories. But what was more painful and bitter for her now was the fact that she would never get to experience them ever again. She wished she could come up with the right words to say to him. Anything that could make him stay. But looking at him, the way he tried to distance himself from her, she knew it was rather impossible. Whether she'd do a crazy stunt or weep nonstop just to beg for him to stay, he probably won't change his mind.

Thera blinked several times. Her eyes focused on the kerosene lamp that was placed at the bottom of the bed. She wanted to upbraid him for building her hopes up. She felt like Sean was just fooling her around. After all the sweet things he told her, he would just end up leaving her hanging? Silly her. Despite everything, she kept holding on to him instead of letting go.

"Aren't husbands supposed to stand up for their wives whenever the dark times occur? But you... why did you leave in the first place?" she asked him. The bitterness in her voice was evident.

Sean remained silent. All she could hear was the heavy sigh escaping from his mouth.

"Try to get some sleep. There's still a few hours left before the sunrise. I'll stay until you fall asleep,"

A bitter smile almost painted on her lips. Until now, he was trying to avoid the subject, the root of the issue. She was trying to hold back her tears. Not only does she run out of tears to do so, but also her heart starts to get dry.

She crawled out of bed. "You can go back to your room. I'll be fine. I can manage myself,"

"Thera…" he protested.

She picked up the gas lamp only to be released from her grip when it burnt her skin. She winced in pain. Right away, Sean stood and drew closer, clutching her hurt hand.

"You can't even take care of yourself," he opposed.

Thera couldn't find the right words to say. Her eyes remained focused on him while he was focusing on her fingers. Overwhelmed by the worry that was attached to his voice. He was this concerned and worried about her when she was still his employee. He always covered up her failures back in the Tea Caf.

Sean shifted his gaze at her. Their eyes locked, and it was too late for her to look away. Then he went slightly still when he caught her already staring.

They stared at each other down from the minute they were able to make eye contact until they both gave in, and like gravity pulling them down with force, they drew closer, crossing the distance between their faces.

August 11, 2015

Baguio City, Philippines

Harshly, Thera wiped her tears off of her cheeks. With trembling hands, she pulled up her car to the side of the road. The rain was still heavy. However, the storm had weakened since it had already fallen out of the Philippines' area of responsibility this morning.

She had no idea how she was able to drive away from the villa. She felt too weak. The feeling of emptiness crept into her heart. As odd as it may seem, that emptiness felt too heavy for her to carry. Everything about her was broken. She was in deep, deep pain. She fell asleep around Sean's embrace last night. Then, she woke up in the morning without him by her side anymore.

They consummated their wedding after five years. The sheets were stained with Thera's blood, but Sean's presence was no longer there when she had woken up. She brought her palm into her face, feeling so overwhelmed. Her tears had cascaded fully. She felt stupid and angry at the same time. However, the anger she felt wasn't pointed against Sean. It was rather more to herself. She was stupid for holding on to a hand that barely held her.

She couldn't believe herself. No matter how many times he had told her that he couldn't love her anymore, she was still able to give her all and submitted herself to him. She lifted her head from the steering wheel, clicking her tongue. Now, she was uncertain where to go. She just wanted to disappear and never come back.

As she was about to start the engine, she heard a series of knocks from her car window. It startled her a little bit. She glanced over her shoulder to know who it was. A tall man dripping wet under the rain. He was soaked under the rain for a while now. However, despite that, his lips still looked surprisingly reddish.

A friendly smile etched from the man's lips the moment she rolled the car window down and said, "Hey, would you mind if I share a ride with you? I'll come along wherever you'll go,"