Chapter 13 Regrets

Elaine scanned the four-cornered walls of the room. The size was tolerable. There was a double-sized bed pinned on the wooden wall. A normal-sized lampshade sat on the side table. There was also a white traditional built-in closet right across the bed. A thick amount of dust was noticeable even from afar. No windows she could see but there was a split type aircon attached at the corner of the wall a few inches gap from the ceiling. The walls badly needed repainting. Also, the carpet had to be replaced as well as the center table.

She rolled her two suitcases aside and stepped out of the room to check the entire appearance of the house. Well, except Tan's room. He went into his room as soon as he gave her the keys. At least the living room looks clean and decent. She was lost for words she didn't notice its entirety a little while ago. There was a decent-sized couch at the center and a TV placed on the wooden rack. Under it was a pile of unarranged magazines and brochures shuffled together. Her eyes darted towards the kitchen. There was a rectangular table good for four and a refrigerator. She pulled it open and to her dismay, it was empty.

Elaine tried to look for a water dispenser but she found none. She felt thirsty. Her stomach was rumbling, too. Tan went out of his room and just like his usual posture, he slid his hand into his pocket. He was holding a bottle of water which made Elaine gulp. His attractiveness added more to her thirst. It didn't help her at all.

The man had gotten dressed already. She saw him in his long-sleeved polo shirt and slacks when she arrived early on. Now, he was only wearing a white shirt and black pajama pants; his usual sleeping attire. She reckoned it was ten in the evening. He was supposed to be in the hospital, but there he is, only in his pajamas, breathing the same air under the same roof with her. Looks like he's really got more time now. Well, he's no longer a hands-on surgeon who had to be in the operating room 24/7. So, everything made sense to her now.

As they held gazes, regret began to creep into Elaine's heart. Why didn't he become this successful four years ago? If becoming a board member was this easy and big of a deal, there shouldn't be any problem now. Everything they've been through, the crazy fights and unsolved misunderstandings, couldn't have been a thing within a year of being together if fate ruled in their favor. Perhaps they were able to work things out and save their marriage.

Elaine shook her head. No. Tan's profession was not the only hindrance to their relationship before. There was something more.

"Are you comfortable in your room?" she asked, breaking the awkward silence between them. Tan stared at her blankly. She cleared her throat after hearing no response from him. "I am not going to work tomorrow. I'll be staying here so I can clean the house. If you like, you can leave your bedroom key to me so I could also clean your—"

"I thought you have read and understood the conditions written in the contract," he cut her mid-sentence.

"I did," she replied. What does the contract have to do with what she was about to say?

She followed Tan with her eyes as he walked towards the sofa. He sat down and placed the empty water bottle on the center table before gazing at her.

"You are only allowed to go to the bathroom, the living room, and your bedroom. You have no obligation to me as I don't have to you. We aren't a married couple unless it's related to Textiles. Stick to what's written in the contract. Worry and think only about yourself," he stated firmly, his eyes lacked warmth. "Just how you did perfectly back then."

Elaine flinched. The last two sentences sent a pang of pain in her heart. Was that the only thing she did for the entire duration of their relationship in the past? Just thinking about herself and nothing else?

Tan pulled something in his pocket and put it on the center table. Even from where she stood, she knew exactly what it was. A bank cheque.

"After six months, I'll pay you in full for your cooperation. You can choose to stay or leave the country again. It's up to you where you're going to spend the money you worked hard for."

Aside from not wanting to meet his eyes, Elaine wanted to hide her pain so she bowed her head down.

"Did you ever look for me before then?" she asked quietly.

"Should I? Your actions almost told me not to," Tan answered in a flat tone.

Elaine raised her face but she could hardly stand Tan's cold gaze.

"You got what you wanted. I received what you said I deserve. You should not forget. You were the one who cut ties with me."

Tan rose to his seat and walked past Elaine. She exhaled deeply as soon as he got back into his room, leaving her standing.

"You don't know what I've been through, Tan." Elaine's smile was bitter. "You have no idea where I've been... You would not dare imagine where.."

She looked over her shoulder and stared at his bedroom door. It was very easy to say and to think that she was living her life in luxury after taking his money. How she wished she really did that. Unfortunately or perhaps thankfully, she pissed all the money up the wall just to protect and to take care of herself— so she could come back safe, although broken, for him like this.

EVERYTHING was ready just right before the clock hit eight in the morning. Tan rang his secretary to inform her that he's going to be late for work. He'd head straight to the Textile first to take care of a few things there. After that, he'd go to the hospital before eleven to meet with the board members. Their marriage contract had been filed and now it was being processed for transfer. Once done, only then the marriage certificate will be made available to serve its purpose. The entire process would take at least three months as per Atty. Ramas.

He fixed his tie in front of the mirror. He didn't want to be a businessman but he had no choice but to be one for the time being. After spending a brief time in the mirror, he went out of his room, taking his black leather messenger bag with him. He took a glance at Elaine's room before heading out. Her room was situated just right next to his room. So, he could hear her non-stop movement in her room last night. Seems like she was pushing and moving the things inside. The wall that was blocking between them was just thin so he could hear everything she was doing inside her room all night. Irritated, he knocked on the wooden wall to keep her quiet. There was a moment of silence but after a few minutes, she'll start making noises again.

Tan forced himself to sleep. Why the hell was she cleaning her room in the middle of the night? Couldn't she wait until tomorrow? He wanted to burst into her room just to tell her she had been disturbing his sleep but decided to plug his earphones instead and covered himself with a blanket until he’d fall asleep.

He was about to head out when he noticed a plastic food container on the table. He took a step forward to check what's inside. Two pieces of sandwich. Also, he saw the sticky note pinned on the cover of the container that said: "Good morning. I bought breakfast for you. I left a bottle of milk in the fridge, too. See you later."

Tan scoffed. He crumpled the paper and tossed it on the table. Then, his phone rang. Atty. Ramas's name registered on the phone.

ELAINE tossed a roll of tissue into the shopping cart before pushing it towards the counter. She spent her time alone buying some stuff they needed in the house. Aside from buying food and groceries, she also bought a few bottles of whiskey and canned beer.

She could not fall asleep last night. For the first time, she had not drunk alcohol for a while and she also refused to take sleeping pills last night. Otherwise, she'd wake up very late and sick to her stomach. She'll end up doing nothing at all.

Aside from having a sleepless night, she suffered from thirst and hunger, too. She no longer bothered to go out to find the nearest convenience store since it was already late in the evening. On top of that, it was not safe to roam around in an unfamiliar place. As much as possible, she didn't want to run into drunk people or drug addicts. She once lived in the same kind of community growing up but everything's different now.

Tan may be unaware since he had lived in a safe village his whole life. But the house he bought for them was very close to danger. And Elaine isn't prepared for that. She's no longer the old Elaine who can defend herself. She had been experiencing panic attacks lately. It scared her to death. So, she tried to avoid places that could trigger her episodes.

She headed out of the house before seven to look for the nearest convenience store to grab breakfast. She found one, three blocks away from their house. She ordered a take-out meal and a bottle of milk for Tan. She left them on the table with a note. She was so stressed out about what to write in the note that she wasted a piece or more.

After taking a shower, she drove to Baclaran just so she could send her regards to Mr. Chito in person. Drew told her that he'd been suffering from rheumatism all night. Elaine tried convincing him to have it checked by the doctor but he kept refusing her offer. She was not able to persuade him for long because he'd leave her behind and go back into his room, obviously trying to avoid her. His cold treatment towards her colored her blue. But just like Tan, she could not force him to forgive her after what she did. Three years ago, she completely ignored all his advice and did the opposite things he told her that led her to her messed up life.

She stood in the line when she noticed the man paying on the counter before her. His back posture, his hair, and his overall stance, she already knew who it was. It was Marco again. She shook her head in utter disbelief upon noticing how the cashier swoon over him. Her lips puckered in annoyance. She could not believe her eyes.

Marco wore a pair of denim jeans and a brown leather jacket. The simple back shirt beneath the coat greatly emphasized his masculinity. A mocking smirk formed Elaine's lips. He was really feeling like an action star, wasn't he? She honestly didn't understand the purpose of wearing that thick coat. Does he have any idea how humid the temperature is right now?

She wanted to avoid crossing paths with the sheriff but it seemed like she was fate's favorite person to annoy. The man just literally gestured to the cashier to cut the line. He smiled at the saleslady before he moved forward, completely snatching her spot.

She breathed a sigh of relief when he got out of the grocery store, not noticing her. It was almost lunchtime. Her stomach was rumbling in hunger now. After paying for all her groceries, she left the establishment. Much to her surprise, the man she'd been trying to avoid was waiting for her outside. He was leaning against the hood of her car with so much confidence vibrating in his aura.

He was smiling widely at her. Did he see her back in there a while ago? She carefully dropped one of the plastic bags on the ground to get her car remote and pressed the button, unlocking her car. She was silently thinking about the best way to get rid of this man and how she could refuse his offer the moment he'd bring up the lunch date thing.

For Pete's sake. He was engaged and she was married. It was an awful sight to see. She opened the trunk of her car, while Marco helped her load the bags into it. Elaine tried to refuse his help but he was persistent.

She walked towards the driver's seat while Marco was still following behind her.

"Are you coming home?" he asked.

"I'm full."

An amused grin etched across his lips. "Hey, would you mind if I come along? You're heading to Viejo, right?"

Elaine stood speechless, her eyes that held so many questions flew towards him. She frowned. "How did you—"

"You rented my uncle’s house, didn’t you? It was for six months if I'm not mistaken and I saw you coming out of the house earlier this morning, so yeah. . ."

Elaine was stunned. Rented? She thought Tan bought it for them. She wanted to laugh at her disappointments. Six months. By that time, their marriage contract will expire. So, everything was really planned by him.

If Marco was telling the truth that the house was owned by his uncle, meaning his uncle lived nearby. But how did he know she moved there? According to him, he saw her. It was lame and suspicious at the same time. Is he stalking her?

"Me? Of course not!" he tried defending himself as if he was able to read her mind.

She couldn't help but suspect. She found his reasons hard to buy.

"Come on. Let me come with you. I didn't have my car right now. It's hard to find a taxi here, you know."

"I don't trust you."

"You're quite a judgmental person, are you? In fact, you should be honored. Out of all the women out there who wanted to be noticed, I chose to join with someone whose body is not that sexy and not that even pretty, you know what I'm saying?" Marco said, smiling mischievously.

Elaine frowned. "You know what, being a police officer does not suit you. Being a criminal does. Pervert."

She yanked the car door open and settled in. She was about to lock it when the guy hopped into the backseat like a bat out of hell. They gazed at each other in the rearview mirror.

"I'm okay, drive safely," he grinned, cocking his thick eyebrows.

She glowered at him, her ears red.

"I told you to stop following me, you jerk!"