Chapter 30 Fragmented

Elaine’s head was spinning. Her eyes were begging him to spare her but the man didn’t even flinch a little.

Then the elevator door opened. When the guy let go of her, Elaine automatically touched her neck, coughing hard, gasping for air. Her knees buckled and she fell to the floor sitting.

The guy squatted beside her. “This is the price you need to pay for being alive, Elaine.”

Elaine was slowly drifting off but she heard what he said. In a blink of an eye, she saw flashes of images and noises burst through.

“This is the price you need to pay for turning your back on your father, Elaine!”

“Die! Die! Just Die!”

Elaine went literally still. Her whole body trembled in fear. She couldn’t tell where the fear was coming from or when it’ll end...

=====FLASHBACK====

August 18, 2017

Quezon City, Philippines

ELAINE couldn't suppress her smile while holding the pregnancy test kits and the result from the ob-gyne close to her chest. After almost every month of testing, she finally got two lines!

She was four weeks pregnant. She used three different test kits from three different brands to make sure she won't get a false test result. That same day, she went for a check-up and she received congratulations from the doctor.

She already planned it together with Macon, Drew and Mang Chito. Now that the result was confirmed, they'd surprise Tan. Elaine knew more than anyone else, how happy her husband would be when he hears the news.

Tan was very fond of kids. His social media accounts are filled with photographs of his nephews and nieces from his cousins. Pictures of her were added, a few months ago. Elaine's parents-in-law would also be glad. They have been whining for grandchildren for several months now.

Elaine kept the pregnancy test kits and her ultrasound inside a box. When Tan arrives home from a medical mission in Cordillera next week, she will immediately tell him the good news over candlelit dinner at home. She can hardly wait.

She wore her seatbelt and was about to start her car when an old man appeared beside her car. The man was in his late fifties or early sixties. He was wearing decent clothes and a khaki baseball cap.

She lowered her windows. “Yes, sir?”

The old man smirked. “Is this how you welcome your father, Elaine?"

A few days after that meeting, Elaine was now standing in front of their house in Parañaque. Bettina called her and asked her to come - more like “ordered” was the right term.

When she opened the door, Elaine faced a flying stuffed toy. Had she not ducked, she would have dropped the food she brought for Bettina.

“It’s good you arrived, you fool!”

Elaine sighed, picked up the stuffed toy and brought it to the living room. She placed it on the sofa and put the cake on the table.

“How many times do I need to tell you not to meet with that horrible guy?! If you want to live in peace, forget about that bastard!”

“‘Mom…”

“When you married that De Marco, I warned you, right?! You will not be happy with him because you have a criminal for a father! Problems will surface as long as that devil is alive! Now, he's back and he's already here! And you still won’t believe me! Your father is making a fool out of you, Elaine. You don’t know anything about him but I do, I know him well! I want to kill him and bury him alive!”

Elaine didn’t pay attention to Bettina’s contradicting statement. She had been seeing Silverio since she met him a few weeks ago.

She bought him clothes and stuff, got him a condo and gave him money, whether he asked or not. She was deprived of a father’s love for a long time. She now has the chance to make up for the years they were apart.

She doesn’t want to mind her mother. One thing she learned from Tan is to love and respect one’s parents. Tan was blessed with good and respectable parents, opposite of what she had.

Bettina was on drugs aside from running an illegal pub house in Parañaque. Those were some of the reasons why she was embarrassed to introduce her mother to Tan and his parents.

Brought about by anger from physical and emotional abuse, she was forced to tell Tan that her parents were long gone. It’s the same anyway, she thought. Bettina didn’t support their budding relationship then.

Bettina didn’t even drop by her wedding. So Elaine stood by her lie until now.

Elaine looked at Bettina. Though her body is fine, her hair, which used to be always coloured, is now starting to grow white. She has wrinkles and obvious creases on her forehead and laughlines.

How could she make it up to her mother? How dare she declared her death to his husband and his family? How would she take it all back now? She wanted to make things right this time but she doesn't know where to start.

“I brought Chocolate cake, Mama. And it's your favourite brand,” she said and went straight to the kitchen to get a plate and fork.

“If you won’t listen to me, that’s up to you! Don’t blame me, Elaine. I warned you!”

Before Elaine could come back to the living room, she already heard the door of her mom’s room, slammed close.

Elaine sighed when a flashback was followed by another flashback…

September 18, 2017

Quezon City, Philippines

THE master’s bedroom door opened. Tan entered and found her closing her luggage on the bed. He breathed deeply and walked towards her.

“Elaine…”

“I’m going back to Mang Chito’s. I’d live there again while you fix the annulment.”

“You had a drink…”

“It’s none of your business.”

Tan breathed deeply again.

“Can you please tell me what is the problem? I don’t know what I did wrong but I’m willing to do everything to correct it,” he pleaded.

Elaine put her luggage on the marble floor. She raised her head to Tan, whose eyes are etched with sadness and anxiety. She shook her head, she need to hurt her husband deeper, rather than sympathize with him.

“I hate everything about you and our marriage, Tan. I was impulsive. I was mistaken when I married you. I already regret doing it.”

“If this is about Textile, even if I’m not the heir, we have stocks in the company. I’ll make sure we won’t starve. You could buy whatever you want. I won’t stop you.”

“You can’t change my mind anymore. I want to break up with you. Just take care of the annulment, I’ll leave it to you to process. The faster to null and void the marriage, the better,” she firmly said.

Elaine pulled her luggage and started to walk out of the room. For several months the four corners of the room witnessed their budding love, the fear and sadness that she tried to hide with coldness and loss of emotion. But she has no choice now. No matter how much she wanted to return to him, she had no courage left to do so now.

With a heavy heart, she walked past Tan.

She seemed stupid for just leaving the guy she loves and who loves her too. But Bettina was right. It was written in her palm, demanded by destiny and fate. She could not be Mrs De Marco if she wanted to be happy.

She's not doing it because she wanted to, but because she could not think of any other way for Tan not to get involved. But even though she already gave him enough reasons to give her up and leave, Tan chose to stay.

Elaine knew he was prepared to accept all the mistakes and lies she made up. He was ready to understand her. She knew it was difficult for him to get a fixed schedule in the hospital especially since he was just a year into his residency, but he’s able to somehow do it.

She was in the garage when Tan caught up with her. He held her hand and Elaine had no choice but to turn to face him.

“If you want some time apart, that’s fine with me. But I’m not going to let go of you no matter what happens. Don’t expect any future talks about annulling our marriage, Elaine. I will never let that happen.”

She swallowed, immediately lowered her gaze when she saw the determination and sincerity in Tan's eyes.

She took her hand away. She made her voice sound firm when she talked.

“Is it really hard to understand what is meant by ‘I don’t love you anymore’, Tan? Please, don’t force your love on me anymore. I can no longer return the favour. I lied about staying with Tatang. There’s... There’s a guy I like. He’s a businessman. I’m going with him and start a new life.”

That should hit Tan real hard. She didn’t want to see the pain in his eyes so she hurriedly turned to go to her car. But she was surprised when he again, grabbed her hand. Elaine stopped from opening the trunk.

Tan looked her in the eye. Still, Elaine could not see a single hint of anger in his dark eyes. Instead, there was understanding and love and tenderness in them that she wanted to cry. Even the hand that was holding her by the wrist doesn’t feel heavy or tight.

Elaine chokes back her tears. How could life be this cruel to them? She was about to lose someone so precious and pure and she could not do anything about it.

On which planet could she find a guy like Tan after tonight?

“If you really want to leave, I’ll take you. It’s late and you’re drunk.”

Elaine stomped. Feelings of frustration, anger at the world and towards herself all mixed up inside her. Pity and overflowing love for the guy who can’t seem to get angry in spite of being made a fool of.

“Why can’t you just curse at me, Tan? I know I deserve that. Rather than being nice to me, why don’t you just use all the bad words you know to me! I’d much rather prefer that than…than…” She wasn’t able to finish her sentence as her voice became hoarse.

Tan slightly smiled, which crushed her heart even more. ”I’m not angry. I know you’re just a little confused. Don’t ever mention something crazy like you, having an affair with another man, Elaine. No matter how many times you say that I won’t believe you. Forgive me for forgetting how young you are compared to my age. Though I want us to go back to the good old days and I miss us, I know you need more time for yourself.”

It was getting harder as time goes by, Elaine thought. She wanted to hug him and tell him it pains him as well. But she could not be too selfish. Tan and Tan's family would suffer if she continues to cling to them.

Elaine knew she has to get in her car before she betrays herself. There she could cry her heart out without anyone noticing. Like she always does whenever she intentionally makes him angry. Sadly, she was unsuccessful with her attempts. Because until the very end, Tan choose to be understanding.

Elaine was secretly grateful for the dark part of the garage or Tan would’ve seen the tears she could not stop from falling. Only God knows how much it pained her seeing Tan like this. Hurting him like this.

But hurting him, and herself as well was the only way to protect him and his family’s name.

Elaine raised her head after simply wiping her tear.

“I told you the truth. Believe whatever you want. I want you to prepare everything, the faster, the better. Don’t ever contact me.”

She hurriedly tossed the luggage in the trunk and went around to the driver’s seat and sat there, biting her lower lip. She forbid herself from glancing at Tan one last time in the car's rearview mirror and quickly drove the car away.

“I’m sorry, Tan. Please don’t forgive me. I’d rather want you to hate me.”

Turning on the first corner out of the subdivision, Elaine parked the car by the side of the road. There she let go of all the pain and the burden that have been eating her up for the past months.

It wasn’t even the break of dawn when her phone rang. The hospital staff was at the other end talking to her. Notifying her to come because Tan was in a critical condition.

But she should not come. Even if she wanted to.

=====END OF FLASHBACK====