Chapter 32 Broken Hearts

Continuation of flashback :

Before Elaine entered the private room and started to walk towards him, Tan has been staring at her. He tried not to, but he can’t help but follow her every step as she approached.

He wanted to move, go to her, reach for her. But he knew it was impossible and she won't even like it so he had no choice but to stay. Tan sat with his back on the headboard and wait until Elaine comes near.

His eyes were fixed on her. He didn’t notice when Janine stood or if she said goodbye before she went out to leave them two alone.

Elaine was staring back at him. When she stopped in the centre of the room- one meter from him, she stared at him over in a swift gaze. Then her eyes fell down to his feet which were still in a cast.

She didn’t seem surprised at what she saw. She surely would have heard about his bone fracture. The girl he loved so much now has more reason to leave him.

Tan flinched. Helplessly and hopelessly praying that the worry, guilt, and sympathy that went through Elaine’s eyes while looking at him were true.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she said. Sadly, her voice held no emotion.

The faintest glimmer of hope Tan tried to hold on to his heart, was totally lost when Elaine put an envelope by his side.

He clenched his jaw and took a deep sigh.

The envelope contained the annulment papers; and her broken vow. His lawyer was the one who sent it to Mang Chito's address the other day. Elaine has been asking for it from him in the past months. Now, he doesn’t have a choice but to give up the one person he was prepared to give everything up for so he won’t have to lose her.

“I signed it already,” she said looking straight at him; and all he could do was to stare back at her.

“You don’t expect me to take care of you, do you? I don’t want to take care of an invalid husband. I have my own life and I don’t want to waste it waiting for you to be back on your feet,” he remembered Elaine directly telling him over the phone just the other day.

“How much do you need?” Tan asked, using a business-like tone with her for the first time.

He could not force Elaine to stay beside him no matter how much he wanted her to. He decided to let go not because that’s what he wanted, but because he was left with no other option but to set her free.

It was too much for him. His heart was already full of disappointments. It was very tiring and painful for him already. The longer it takes, the more painful it gets. And he did not want to anymore prolong the agony.

Tan realized, no matter how much he wanted to hold on and not give up on a person, the time would come when your heart just gets tired. He had so much love to give. While his wife doesn’t care anymore.

Elaine talked about getting compensatory damages from him the last time he called her. She also mentioned when she would come for the money. She just didn’t say how much she wanted and where she’d use it.

“I haven’t memorized the law. But I know as your wife, I own what you own as well. But don’t worry, I won’t ask for too much.”

Tan's throat tightened. She was able to say all that without taking her eyes off of him.

'Money is not a problem, Elaine. If I could just buy your love so you’d stay by my side, I’m willing to offer everything I own,' he wanted to retort but held himself.

When this day is over, it would be hard to see her anymore. And this might be the last time he would ever see her again. He had been concealing it, but it was scaring the hell out of him.

It was only her whom he ever needed.

But instead of speaking up, Tan’s mouth remained closed. He was scared his voice would crack with all the emotions he has inside her heart. He was scared that if he opened his mouth, nothing would come out but what his heart really wanted to blurt out.

'Please stay. I can’t live without you...'

Elaine looked up after a few silent moments.

“I'm going to cut the chase, Tan. I told you about the man I like. He’s waiting for me outside.”

Tan remained quiet. His heart was too tired for words. How could she be so honest about having an affair with another man? And why was it that even when she forces that issue, his heart wouldn’t listen? Elaine would not do that to him.

In the months that passed, they weren’t able to resolve any marital issue no matter how much he wanted to fix things. Now it felt like he had been waiting for something that was never going to happen. Elaine had different reasons and as time goes by, the list was just getting longer.

Elaine wanted a multimillionaire husband. An heir to the famous and successful De Marco Textile. That’s what she said before so he was forced to manage the company just as his parents asked him.

A few weeks later, she was brutally telling him she hated children and she didn’t want to get pregnant. That she hated his job. And recently admitted she's having an affair with another man.

Tan was having a hard time believing her but now that Elaine was right in front of him and he could see the absence of sympathy in her blank stare, he finally confirmed what he’s been denying from himself the past months - Elaine already had a change of heart.

In that short span of time, she'd leave him at a time she knows he needed moral support more than ever.

With a heavy heart, Tan took his chequebook under her pillow. He knew one day, Elaine would come to claim the money she asked for.

He signed the check. Then put the torn piece of paper on the side table. He feels like being punched in the chest if he’d be the one to hand it over to his wife.

“That’s a signed blank check. Write whatever amount you like,” he said, still in a business-like tone.

Elaine walked closer to him. Her natural scent that was very familiar to him assaulted his senses. He had to stop breathing for a while when she finally stood by his hospital bed.

Tan swallowed the imaginary lump in his throat. All he ever wanted was a life with her. He had asked nothing else from God. But why is it even just that one thing, was so hard for him to get?

He shifted his head to the other side of the room to stop himself from grabbing her by the waist and to hug her tight. And for the millionth time, beg her to stay.

Elaine took the check. She was about to step back to give some distance between them when the ring on her finger sparkled and he caught sight of it. He suddenly took her hand.

Elaine was taken by surprise. She was shocked then removed her hand as if she got burned when their skin touched.

He clenched his jaw. “I want it back,” he formally said. Staring at their wedding ring.

She looked at him. By the look on her face, he could tell she wanted to protest. But what else would be the purpose of the wedding ring on her finger when it was her who cut their ties in the first place?

Though obviously being forced against her will, Elaine took off her ring and put it on the side table.

“I’ll be adding the price of the ring to the amount I’ll write on the check.” She inhaled deeply. “Sorry. And thank you for everything.”

Tan didn’t react. He averted his eyes when Elaine placed the ring on the side table.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Elaine turned her back and went for the door. When the door closed, proof that she left, he kept blinking his eyes to stop the tears that are bound to fall anytime.

This was the hardest part for him. When someone he loved so dearly left and he needed to act like he did not at all care.

Tan’s heartfelt heavy with emotions. Pain and agony and despair. It was overwhelming that he was having a hard time keeping it all in his chest and prevent it from surfacing.

Tears burned his eyes as he looked at Elaine’s customized wedding ring that she left on the side table. Tan personally designed it. He even asked the jeweller to engrave his name on it and requested to add more small diamonds around.

As he was about to get the ring from the side table, the door suddenly burst open again. He was shocked to see Elaine back. Her eyes were set on the ring that she left.

Elaine stormed into the room. She got the ring before he got the chance to take it. She held it tightly inside her closed fist then looked back at him.

Tan’s eyes were teary that he didn’t notice Elaine’s eyes were the same as his.

“Just take it back from me when we see each other again.” That’s it and she immediately turned away. Taking the ring which is his only remaining memory of her.

====END OF FLASHBACK====