Chapter 41 Save Me, Heal Me

Elaine stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was glowing, it wasn’t obvious that she was nervous and anxious while parking her car inside their rented house. She could call Tan to let him know she was coming home but she chose to just wait for him there.

She has a lot to say and explain to her husband. Sandra called. She admitted everything to Tan. Though the clever doctor laughed in the end saying she doesn’t have the right to file a case against her because she only told the immediate family.

Elaine was thankful though. It’s as if a heavy weight was lifted from her chest. No matter how hard she tried to work up her courage, she couldn’t bring herself to admit everything to Tan if not for Sandra’s help.

She was always scared that her husband might not be able to accept her. The person she loved might leave her because she was unacceptable- she was lacking and she was not whole.

After the terrible things that happened, she lost confidence in herself. She believed people would leave no matter how hard she would beg them to stay. So she went ahead and left Tan first—aside from wanting to be able to protect their honourable name, she was afraid she would be left behind.

What a coward.

Elaine shook her head. But tonight, she would be saying her final goodbye to that coward. She took a deep breath after going out of the car. Tan’s car wasn’t in the garage so she has time to prepare herself.

She just got in when her cell phone rang. It’s a text message from Marco.

I hope I’m forgiven now.

She wondered what that was about, but made her smile nonetheless. She typed her reply.

You're forgiven.

She put the phone back in her bag. She turned on the light and looked around.

She was going to the room when out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tan’s briefcase on the centre table. Her heart throbbed. Was he in the house? Was it why the main door wasn’t double-locked?

She took her cell phone from her bag again and dialled Tan’s number. But his phone just kept ringing and seemed just nearby. She decided to look inside the room where the ringing seemed to be louder.

She found a sleeping Tan inside his bedroom. He was still wearing his long sleeve polo while his coat was carefully hung behind the swivel chair in front of the working table. Elaine went near her husband. He reeked of alcohol. Why did he drink? Did Sean arrive in the Philippines and they went drinking?

Elaine was expecting a heart-to-heart talk with him, but instead, a drunk Tan was what she came home to. It was a first.

She was about to turn on the lampshade on the study table that was beside Tan’s bed. But before she could do that, she was pulled by the waist. Her heart skipped several beats.

And before she could finally realize what was going to happen next, she landed in Tan's arms. Her head was lying on his arm while his other hand was around her waist.

She could hear Tan’s throbbing heartbeat when he pulled her closer.

“I love you… very much, Elaine. I won’t let you leave me again,” he murmured.

She bit her lower lip. Her eyes started to well up by the sincerity of his words though she knows he was just dreaming.

Carefully, Elaine moved to face the guy. She was burdened by the weight of sadness and guilt for so long. She was waiting for a chance to set things right. Only to find herself drowning in more lies.

She gazed at him, her eyes welling up. She swallowed. And in a broken voice spoke…

“I’m not going to run away anymore, Tan. This time, I’ll make sure that each step I make is only going back to you.”

IT was late in the day when Tan woke up because he was hungry. Aside from the alcohol, his stomach had nothing else. But his plan to get up and get some food quickly vanished from his thought when he opened his eyes and saw the most beautiful woman sleeping beside him. Something he didn’t see for a long time.

Tan’s heart started beating fast. He gazed down at Elaine’s sleeping face. His aching heart was filled with warmth all of a sudden. The anger reserved for Vincent Fuego was momentarily set aside.

This was not just a dream. But if it is, this was by far the happiest dream he ever had for the last three years. He won't let the dream end by waking.

Tan could not clearly remember how they ended up sharing one bed and how they could be both under the white comforter just like old times. But one thing was for certain. Nothing could warm his longing heart more than having Elaine this close.

She looked serene, radiant, and very beautiful in her sleep. Like before, he knew, even if he stared at her for the whole day, his eyes wouldn’t feel strained at all. She had no dark circles beneath her eyes, he realized as his gaze lingered.

If that meant Elaine no longer had sleeping problems as Sandra said, She will be happier. She was deprived by many things for so long. Even proper sleep was difficult for her to achieve because of her condition.

Without touching her, Tan traced her straight delicate nose. Then his gaze dropped on her slightly parted pink lips. The same soft luscious lips that sent his heart pounding wildly for hours the first time they shared a kiss.

Afraid he’d wake her up, he put his hand down and was just content staring. A small, contented smile formed on his mouth. But Elaine moved after a few moments. She turned her back towards him, still sleeping.

He didn’t want them to be disconnected, so he inserted his arm between their pillow and Elaine’s neck. He took a deep breath when Elaine voluntarily faced him again.

Desire and yearning crept into him knowing she was too close. But quickly, he dismissed the thought. Carefully, he held the back of her head and fixed her position on his arm.

His left hand rested on her shoulders, while he used his free hand to fix the comforter.

He didn’t stop himself from placing a gentle kiss on top of her head before pulling her close.