Chapter 44 Letting Her Go

Elaine felt a slight tightening of her chest while her and Marco’s eyes were still holding each other in a gaze. She didn’t want to lose a friend but she also didn’t want him to keep hurting because of her.

The fear and worry she heard from his voice a while ago, wasn’t just concern of a guy for a friend. She wasn’t that stupid not to feel that. And she was not selfish to make him hope only to be hurt in the end. Marco was a good person. He deserved someone who would love him wholeheartedly.

Elaine swallowed the imaginary lump in her throat when Marco smiled and started to talk.

“Whenever I see you sad, whenever I know you have a heavy burden, whenever you’re crying and hurting but you try to hide it, those were the times I wanted to take you away from your husband, Elaine. But on each of those times, I was a fool who keeps restraining myself because I know whatever I do, whatever I give up, no matter how I try to dry your tears, I will never the person who’ll make you happy..."

Elaine bit her lips. Her heart ached.

"But if it isn’t too much to ask, please don’t tell me to stop liking you. If we aren’t made for each other in this lifetime, there’s the next lifetime. Who knows in the next, destiny would agree.”

Marco's expression was soft, sincere, and hopeful that Elaine couldn’t stop her eyes from getting teary. He was a dear friend. She knew behind those smile, this guy was hurting.

Marco looked down at the sprawled body of Jack on the pavement.

“He’s still alive, is he not?”

Elaine sniffed. She quickly wiped her tears to hide them from Marco, who took out his handcuffs.

“WE WILL call you for the progress. The guy has been wanted for a long time and Figueroa has been watching him for a while now.”

Elaine nodded. She looked at Marco who brought Jack to his cell. The latter regained consciousness inside the mobile. When Jack jabbed out the knife he was holding, attempting to stab her, reflex kicked in and Elaine was able to duck forward. She gave him a three hundred sixty degrees tornado kick that hit his jaw before he even recovered.

She was grateful then more than ever for her perseverance to learn taekwondo in her childhood. Using the sling of her bag, she tied the guy’s hand behind his back. She didn’t press any charges before but this time, she will do everything just to put him in jail.

Elaine stood after the investigation was done. Her eyes were searching for Marco but she couldn’t find him. She sighed. She walked towards the door after saying goodbye to the investigator.

That was the only time she remembered to inform Tan about what happened. She took her cell phone and was about to dial her husband’s number when Marco’s red sports car stopped in front of the police station.

She peeked when Marco slid down the window of his car. She wasn’t mistaken, he was wearing his usual playful smile.

“This seems like a deja vu but get in. Your husband is waiting for you.”

Elaine pulled open the door and went in.

TAN breathed deeply. He has checked the time on his wristwatch so many times that he already lost count. He’s been home for a few hours. He’s getting restless, he didn’t see Elaine in the house.

He was about to leave to go to Mang Chito’s bistro and make sure Elaine was there when his cell phone rang. His forehead creased upon reading the name that registered on the screen.

The guy who’s going to steal your wife was saved there. When did the bastard use his phone? He quickly answered the call.

“Hello?”

“I’m with your wife. Come out in ten minutes, we’re almost there. You can stop using the trash bin as an excuse to wait for us.”

Tan was nonplussed. He lowered his head and shook it. He went out of the house and waited for their arrival. In just a while, Marco’s car parked in front of him.

His chest was throbbing while waiting for Elaine to get of Marco’s car. He missed her and he's got a lot of explaining to do.

She approached Elaine. Possessively, pulled her close to him.

“What an eyesore,” Marco complained who apparently also went down. “I’m leaving. Make sure to take care of her.” He glanced at her one last time.

“Thank you, Marco,” she muttered.

Marco smiled, then went in again and drove his car away...

Marco’s car had been parked in front of Tito Ralph’s gate for a few minutes, the engine has been turned off, but he remained seated inside. He took a deep breath then took his cell phone from his pocket and dialled his mother’s number.

TAN carefully put ointment on Elaine’s fresh wound on the neck after cleaning it. She just finished bathing and dressing up. She was sitting on the side of the bed while her husband was kneeling in front of her.

He learned about what happened. He regrets following her request to bring Janine home. Had he insisted, maybe it wouldn’t have happened?

“It happened because it’s bound to happen,” Elaine answered when she said what she had in mind. “It’s good it happened, at least we can now all be at peace.”

He closed the first aid kit after applying for medicine on the wound under her eye as well. “I asked them to prepare the mansion. We’re going home.”

She smiled. Nodded. “How is Janine?”

“You still ask about how she is after what she did?” He sighed. “I brought her home just as you said.” She stared at him. “You knew about her illness?”

“I have an idea but I don’t know what exactly it’s called.”

“She’s a sociopath. She was diagnosed when she was fifteen.”

“And her condition was the reason you courted her?”

“Exactly eight months ago, Director Crisostomo asked me. He believed Janine’s promise to get treatment if he’d find a way for us to be closer. Compassion made me do it. And perhaps because I feel indebted to her. When you weren’t here, Janine was by my side.”

Elaine lowered her gaze. Tan smiled and raised her face with his hand.

“No one’s blaming you, sweetheart. I’m just telling you because I want us not to have secrets. Let’s be honest with each other from now on, hmm?”

She nodded and smiled slightly.

“So, how did you know she’s sick?” asked Tan releasing her chin.

“Sometimes it takes a sick person to recognize another sick person.”

He chuckled. “Yeah. I must agree.”

“A few weeks ago, Janine mentioned she knew where I went in the past three years. Nobody knew about it except Drew and me. Then finally, I remembered the old lady who kept on visiting me when I was in the hospital. It was Mrs Crisostomo. I couldn’t understand it at first. Why every time she comes, she would encourage me. Then I understood later that maybe those encouraging words weren’t for me but for her daughter. She just can’t tell her because Janine's heart was so hardened. How they knew I was there, beats me. But it doesn’t matter anymore and I don’t want to ask. I might get slapped again twice," she said, grinning.

“Mrs Crisostomo has a friend who works in both hospitals. He was a mental health practitioner who diagnosed Janine and was supposed to do her treatment before.”

That made sense. But Elaine doubted that maybe Janine has known she was there for a long time. She just intentionally hid it from Tan because she was scared to lose him. Still, she couldn’t blame her.

“Staying in that hospital for almost three years made me think that perhaps we’re all a little bit sick. Not everyone who appears normal isn’t carrying some burden and illness. I saw how difficult for others to make decisions on what to do. Should they seek help or should they keep denying the fact that they need psychological help? But how do we stop the bleeding if we cannot accept we have a wound that needs to be treated?”

“When was the time you accepted the fact that you need psychological help?”

“Few weeks after my mother died.” Elaine took a deep breath. There’s a pinch in her heart whenever she remembers her mother. “At first, I kept asking to just die. I felt it was so heavy and painful. The way is too dark and I can’t see a light. But then I realized that gradually, I was emerging from a very dark tunnel. Sandra helped me a lot so did Mrs Crisostomo. And you.”

Tan’s forehead creased. “How?”

She smiled. “I heard the news. You were introduced as the fiancé of the director’s daughter of AMM Hospital. Stealing you away from her motivated me to get out of the hospital as soon as possible.”

“Who’s stealing me from whom? I’ve always been yours,” he said. Pulled her and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Thank you for that.”

“Then?” He wanted to listen to her. Doesn’t matter if he hears it from his wife two times or even more.

“But then as soon as I left the hospital—which served as my second home, that’s when I had post-traumatic stress disorder. I keep remembering things I so long wanted to forget. Nonetheless, I’m glad you’re here with me now.”

“But why did you choose for me to take her home after what she did to you? What if she steals me away from you?”

“Nope. I trust you.”

Tan’s smile widened. Sweetly kissed her on the head.

“But you look a bit awkward with her,” she said suddenly.

Hindi ito makapaniwala. Pushed her a little away from him. “Why would you think I was awkward with her?”

Aren’t you? Elaine scratched her brows. “ I wouldn’t know if, during your time together, you somehow fell for her.”

In one instant, he stood and planted his hands on both her sides. She could feel his warm breath against the softness of her skin.

“Fell?” he asked, amused.

She blinked. Her heart was beating too fast. “Well, you look good together,” she teased.

Tan gave her a swift kiss on the lips.

“She is more beautiful, intelligent, rich...”

That earned her another kiss from him. This time, longer, deeper.

“Silly, she never did even come close to you,”

She breathed deep. She slightly pushed Tan away. She won’t be contented with just a kiss.

“Are we going to start or would you still try to flatter me?”

He laughed and snatched her around the waist and kissed her deeply on the lips. Afterwards, she felt Tan holding her left hand.

Elaine followed with questioning eyes Tan slowly kneeling before her. Then he took something out of his pant pocket. She bit her lip when she saw what it was. A little box.

She was teary-eyed when he opened it and two familiar pair of rings flashed before her. Her wedding ring. How come he has her ring?

He lifted a steady gaze at her. “Let’s have a proper wedding, Elaine. Let’s start again.”

She nodded her head continuously. Tan reached forward. Wiped her cheek with his thumb before he kissed her on the cheek, on the forehead, on her nose, and on her lips. He sat beside her, then faced her and carefully put the ring on her ring finger.

“How did you get my ring?”

“The night before you came home drunk with Marco, I went in your room to make sure you weren’t hiding any bottle of beer. I saw the ring on your jewellery box. Sorry, I took it without letting you know. I thought you sold it already.”

“It’s my only remembrance of you.”

He was silly for thinking she’d sell her ring. Even if the offer was double the original price, she won’t give up the symbol of Tan’s love for her. She almost slipped running on the tiled floor of the hospital before just to get it back.

“Your ring—”

Tan smiled. One by one he unbuttoned his long sleeve polo. Her eyes grew wide. She stopped him from what he was doing.

“Tan, hold on. Answer my question first. There’s a lot more I need to know.”

He laughed. “Silly.” He pressed her nose, then held her hand and put it on his chest.

Elaine was speechless when she felt it. Chain. Pendant. She took out the necklace from the partly opened polo of Tan.

“The ring kept me going. I never stopped wearing that even when I kept telling myself I don’t love you anymore.”

“Why?”

“Old habits die hard, I think. I want the ring to always touch my skin. I can’t wear it on my finger because Janine would throw a fit. And especially when you returned.”

She was the one who hugged Tan but he dragged her onto the bed with him. Her heart fluttered. She also felt the roar of Tan’s beating heart when he put her palm over it. He leaned over and kissed her gently as if tasting her, savouring her. She closed her eyes. Though the kiss was light, it still made her hunger for him burn up. Slowly, Tan’s warm lips kissed their way down her neck until the deep scar on her chest. The scar she did on herself.

When Tan’s lips left her chest, she opened her eyes. He was staring at her with those love-filled dark eyes. He stroked her cheek, then her hair, pushing it gently off her forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I’ve hurt you,” she replied quietly.

“I love you still.”

“I’m scarred and imperfect and broken…”

“I love you. Broken or whole.”

When Tan’s face went down to her face again, Elaine finally wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck. She closed her eyes when she felt his hot lips on her lips.

This was what it felt to be back in his arms again. Pure bliss. The scars on her body from the wounds of her dark past would certainly remain smooth and beautiful in Tan’s touch and eyes.