HIS BABY TO BEAR - FOURTEEN

C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N

Libby couldn't believe she had the capacity to be this angry. She felt like her body was creating so much energy by being pissed that she could run electricity in Batangas for a few days. It was pure, unfiltered rage bubbling up, everything she'd kept boxed up somewhere in the back of her mind and not allowed herself to vent before.

And now she was doing it at Jerome. And she couldn't stop.

Shit.

That particular thought had been very prevalent lately.

"And finally, when they apparently decided that they couldn't get anything useful out of me, they dumped me off in Batangas, gave me a new name and ten thousand dollars and told me to go 'make it.' That I was free to go and no one would follow me, or so they thought. And that was it. My whole life taken from me, my identity wiped, and my family and friends left to think I'd gone crazy and joined some cult somewhere, or worse!"

She threw her hands up in exasperation, running them through her hair. Libby knew perfectly well that none of this was really on Jerome. He'd been doing his job and had let the moment take him away like she had, but right now, it was too much. Him thinking he had any right over her baby while he hadn't even been in the picture was just... maddening. Like he usually was.

To her own ears, she sounded like she was whining. Like she was some victim, hapless and helpless. In a way, she knew she was, but it wasn't only that. Libby had been strong. All through the pregnancy, the haphazard birth that she hadn't expected quite so soon, the demanding nature of having a baby who was ready to do everything far earlier than he was supposed to.

She'd been alone for all of that, cut off from her safety net and constantly looking over her shoulder, expecting someone to come running to her and stab her in the chest or shoot her in the back, much like they'd done with Jonah.

It was a terrifying way to live. It was even worse to raise a child in a situation like that. So now, faced with the opportunity to let it all out, and not just that but the carnal need to do that, she couldn't stop.

"Do you know how long a pregnancy lasts when you're pregnant with a shifter baby?" she asked, imagining that it wouldn't be long until steam started rising from her nostrils.

"About five months," he said, sitting back and resting against the backrest of the sofa.

He looked beaten, like she'd personally taken a baseball bat and pummeled him until he stopped putting up a fight. Her shoulders drooped a little, seeing his discomfort and sadness, but her mouth kept going.

"Five months! Right! And you know what that means? I'll tell you. In five months, you get to experience the joy of pregnancy at twice the speed and three times the intensity! Morning sickness? Try twice as bad. Ballooning up suddenly? Oh hell, that's nothing compared to what happens when you have a shifter baby inside of you! And they kick! They kick like hell. He's going to be a soccer player, I'm damn sure of it, because otherwise he had no reason to be pummeling my bladder like that!"

Her voice was barely over a whisper and her tone was neutral, trying to conceal all of it from Reid Andrew. It only made it weirder for both her and Jerome. And what was worst of all was that she didn't even really want to be saying all of those things. They just poured out of her like some constant stream of thought she couldn't stop or control.

Libby loved her baby. And as much as the whole thing at Jonah's home and the roof and the armored vehicles made her queasy, she didn't regret what she did with Jerome that night. How could she? It had given her Reid Jerome. But the words just kept coming.

"And the kicker was, I didn't even know my baby was a shifter, let alone what kind he was. Though I guess I got the hint when I popped him out when I was not due for another four months and he looked like he'd been breastfeeding for a month already. I didn't know a goddamn thing. I had no idea how to raise him right. How to raise a werebear cub," she said, her voice turning into sobs.

Putting both hands over her eyes, she sunk into the recliner Jerome had been sitting on before, a dry sob wracking her shoulders and chest. First one, then another, and before she knew it she was crying like never before. Every sob shook her body and it took a while for her to realize that Jerome had gotten up and grabbed her, moving her on his lap and holding her tightly against his chest.

"Shh, honey. It'll be all right," he said, whispering calming words in her ears that she wasn't sure made it better or worse.

His heartbeat was ringing in her ears, but the tears wouldn't stop. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there when those soundless, gasping wheezes stopped and she slowly calmed down, feeling drained and empty. But she did know that Jerome was still there, cradling her against him, pawing her hair with his big, calloused hand. It felt good being so close to him like that, to feel his warmth running through her, encouraging her to think that she wasn't completely alone.

But, of course, ultimately she was. And no wishful thinking could change that.

He squeezed her tightly and it felt good, but she didn't allow herself to depend on that. She couldn't learn to expect that kind of companionship, that kind of support. If she did, it would drown her whole.

"I'll do whatever you think is best, Lib," he said, his voice breaking.

She was just about to say something-what she wasn't sure-when a rapid knock sounded on her door and then a blonde flurry of activity barged in, talking loudly before she had even made it through the doorway.

"Oh girl, you have got to tell me everything that happened last night! You just disap- Oh. Why, hello," Raven said, stopping in the middle of the living room.

A tiny groan gurgled up and Libby barely swallowed it, though she was sure Jerome heard it.

"Hey," he said lightly as Libby slipped off his lap and stood up.

She was still trembling a little, but seeing Raven there brought her conviction back.

"I think you need to leave, Jerome," she said.

He stood up as well and she realized once more how damn big he was. He loomed over her, his face twisted in pain. She was cradling her hands around her shoulders, trying to avoid his gaze, but it pulled her in like a magnet.

"Am I interrupting something?" Raven asked, frowning a bit.

He put his hands on her shoulders, ignoring her friend. Libby's heart skipped a beat as he leaned in, thinking he would kiss her again. But he opted for a peck on the forehead and then dipping lower to whisper in her ear.

"Whatever you need, honey. I'll be here. Don't write me off just yet."

With obvious reluctance, he pulled himself away from Libby and she watched him retreat a couple of steps toward the door. Before leaving, though, he went to Reid Andrew's side and picked him up for a moment, hugging him carefully. In his sweet way, Reid Andrew clasped his hands around his neck and clung to him in a way that made Libby's stomach churn with guilt. Raven tossed a questioning, slightly worried look between Jerome and then Libby, but Libby motioned for her to relax with a wave of her hand.

What if I could really give Reid Andrew a father?

That treacherous thought ran in her ears again, picking at her viciously.

"Be a good boy for your mama," Jerome told Reid Andrew, and the little dark-haired boy nodded eagerly.

Jerome stood up and walked to the front door, giving Raven a nod of acknowledgement as he passed her. He grabbed the notebook and pen Libby kept by the front door and scribbled something inside, before opening the door and disappearing behind it. When the door slammed shut, Libby felt numb. Like the life had been drained out of her.

"Jesus, Ellie! What happened?! Who was that guy?" Raven asked, dumbfounded.

"He was... no one," Libby lied, walking over to Reid Andrew and sitting down on the carpet next to him.

She was afraid that panic-like sobbing would hit her again if she thought about Jerome too much and everything that had happened since that fateful night. But running her hand through Reid Andrew's slightly curly hair, she felt a tiny bit better. At least she knew now that he was real. That he wasn't all a figment of her imagination. And that inside of him, behind that cocky bravado and bad boy charm, was a sensitive, caring man who wanted to do right by her son.

Whether she could allow that to happen was a whole other topic in itself.

"Nuh-uh. He is definitely not no one. Did you know him from somewhere? Have you been crying? I knew I shouldn't have let you out of my sight, girl. God, I'm so dumb," Raven sighed dramatically, sitting down on the carpet as well.

She put her expensive purse down next to her. Raven handed one of the lattes she had brought with her over to Libby. It was only when her fingers coiled around the paper cup that Libby realized Raven had been holding anything at all. There went the theory that she was usually good at noticing things. Apparently Jerome could make her blind, deaf, and a little bit dumb.

"Honestly, it's nothing you should worry about, Raven. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. Though maybe we could pick better bars next time," Libby said, trying to crack a joke.

"Okay, fine. You win. No more party nights. This month," Raven promised, making a show of crossing her fingers before giggling.

Going to another party was the last thing on Libby's mind now.