THE COUGAR'S BABY - 18

C H A P T E R E I G H T E E N - - - - S H A U N

Shaun stared at the door as it swung closed behind Dani in slack-jawed surprise, his mind whirring very slowly to catch up with the situation at hand. His body was still enjoying a blissful glow and he’d assumed Dani had been coiled up in that moment with him, but evidently not. For a second, his will faltered as Shaun hiked himself up to sit, reaching for the nearest item of clothing that he could.

Fuck that. I can’t let this happen again, a voice said inside of him, firm and undeniable.

If there’d been doubt in his mind before that she still harbored feelings for him, she’d confirmed as much with what had transpired in the training room. His nose still hurt like a bitch as did his side, but it had been worth it. He couldn’t let her get away again.

Determined, he tossed on his clothes and slipped on his boots, taking off at a dead run after her. He knew where she’d be going and he’d catch her. There could be no other way.

By the time he’d gotten his motorcycle and thrown his helmet on, rounding the corner on the powerful beast, he saw Dani getting into a cab and it speeding off. His jaw set, Shaun sped after the cab, keeping some distance but committing to the moment. He’d confront her and get her to tell him exactly what the hell was going on and what she was really running from.

The drive took a while and by the time the makeshift convoy reached Dani’s house, Shaun was equal parts enraged at the situation and annoyed at his own behavior. He should have stopped her earlier, or at least spoken up when she moved to leave. But as usual, his words seemed to fail him when he needed them the most.

Shaun slowed the bike down as she got out of the cab, Dani practically running into the yard of a small, one-story home nestled between dilapidated buildings. Hers was kept in good shape, though Shaun could see a few spots where it could use a man’s hand. A man who didn’t fear heights and knew his way around a hammer, anyway.

He slowed the bike and parked it in front of one of the neighboring buildings. The closer he got to walking up to the door and talking to her, the worse he felt for following her. It was an invasion and had she not made it clear that she didn’t want him in her life? Conflicting emotions roiling in him, Shaun was almost about to shove the helmet on and head back to the Squad Six apartment to drink himself into a stupor when another cab pulled up.

The front door opened and Shaun witnessed a woman stepping out, elderly but fresh-faced, beaming a smile so big half the block could have been blinded by it. And Dani appeared at the door as well, looking radiant, at peace. But what really caught Shaun’s eye was the bundle on her hip, his chubby little hands reaching for the older woman as she leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek.

Shaun’s world froze. In slow-motion, he watched the woman retreat and disappear in the car before it took off. His mind was blank as he stood by the bike, and he must have screamed her name because Dani paused at the door, her green eyes filling with horror as she looked at him crossing the street and then through the yard toward her. Dani threw the door shut before Shaun could make it there, but his fist thrummed against the wood hard and heavy, solid knocks that coincided with the beating of his heart.

“Dani, fucking open up!” he snarled, more vicious than he’d ever heard himself.

His head was humming like there were waves crashing in it, colliding with one another and drowning out any thought, any reason.

It can’t be…

“Dani, open this fucking door or I swear to the spirits above, I will break it down!” he roared, inciting a dog to bark somewhere down the street.

He was about to slam his hand into the door again when it opened suddenly and he came face to face with the muzzle of a gun, trained on his forehead. Shaun grinned, a hollow smile that didn’t reach his frenzied eyes.

“Is this what it is? Is this how I get to find out?!” he asked, feeling more energy trundle through him than ever before.

His eyes were solid gold now and so were Dani’s as she stared at him, half-terrified, half-prepared to put that bullet in his brain. He didn’t care.

“Answer me, Daniella!” he said, his hackles raised, his hands itching to roll into fists.

He would never hurt her, nor anyone else in the building. But the emotions that were roiling through him left him a bundle of nerves and reactions, far disassociated from any rational voice he might have had.

“I don’t know what the fuck you want me to say!” she said, her voice shuddering and the tremor carrying into her hands.

Shaun stepped closer once, twice, until his chest was against the handgun and he could slam the door shut behind him. His face was all hard lines, jagged edges, and corners while hers was drained of color, her lips pressed thin.

“Who was that in your arms?” he questioned, forcing calm into his voice, though his eyes did not change.

But he did not need to wait for her answer. He smelled the child. Not only that, but he could smell his child. The moment the scent hit his nostrils, he had no doubt. How could she have hidden it was a mystery he had no time to dwell on. Shaun’s head twisted in the direction he sensed the smell from and he peeled himself away from Dani, not giving even a second to wonder if she’d go through with shooting him. “You can’t! I won’t let you hurt him,” Dani squealed, springing ahead of him and trying to block his path into the living room.

He grabbed her by the arms, firmly but not with intent to harm, setting her aside and out of his path as he would a bothersome piece of furniture. When he stepped into the room, locking eyes with the child on the floor, who was cuddling a soft toy of some sort, his universe crumbled and rebuilt itself all in one second.

Shaun’s mouth fell open and he stared at the raven-haired, bright-eyed boy, looking up at him with curiosity and maybe a hint of recognition that his young brain could not yet process. There was a kinship there between them, immediate and strong and Shaun only snapped out of his stunned silence as his feet carried him over and he took the boy in his arms, gently, as if he were cradling something he thought would shatter to pieces with a mere touch.

The boy looked at him with eyes that matched his own and the gold melted from Shaun’s gaze, reverence evident on his expression. His heart seemed to swell in his chest and at the same time he was angry, confused, and deliriously happy. Not something a werejaguar was accustomed to feeling all in one moment.

“What’s his name?” he asked softly as the boy reached for his face, running his hand over his stubbled chin.

“Roman. I call him Ro for short,” Dani said after a second of hesitation, probably realizing that there was nothing left to hide now.

Shaun didn’t need to ask if the boy was his. He knew. There was no question in his mind. But as the realization settled in him, other much more worrying notions raised their ugly heads. He looked up from Ro and his eyes met Dani’s, no longer gold but still filled to the brim with worry. She was shaking like a leaf and he was sure it was because he was holding Roman. And she still had the damn gun in her hands.

“Put that fucking thing away, Dani. Not around the boy,” he growled, correcting his tone as he got a startled look from Roman. “Do you want to explain to me what the hell is going on here or do I need to chase you across the globe again for that?”

She bristled at that; he could see it the moment he’d spoken the words. But he couldn’t stop himself. Knowing that he’d lost time with his child, his only child, was chewing at him from the inside out. The fact that the boy’s mother and the woman he unabashedly loved—something that hit him like a ton of bricks as well, but seemed to be the least of his current concerns—had hidden it from him made it so much worse that he was having a hard time finding breath to breathe and strength to get mad.

“I don’t owe you any explanation,” she said defiantly, standing up straighter.

Dani lowered the gun though, emptying the chamber and flicking out the clip as it became obvious that the only danger to Roman would be their clashing egos. At least that much was a relief. Shaun wouldn’t have to make up his mind later what the crowning jewel was of this particular day—him finding out he had a son he knew nothing about, reigniting a lost connection with the woman he loved, or getting shot by her.

“Oh, but I think you do,” he hissed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Getting my contacts from The Firm would have been easy enough. And I looked for you, Dani. I didn’t give up on this. It’s all you.”

“You don’t even know if he’s yours,” Dani spat, but that comeback was weak and they both knew it.

“Really? That’s how you want to play this?” Shaun asked, baring his teeth in a wolfish snarl. “Unless I have a genetically identical brother you managed to find and fuck in the middle of the jungle, then I think it’s pretty clear he is mine.”

Straight to the heart. He saw her recoil and he regretted what he’d said the moment he’d spoken the words, but it was too late. Shots had been fired. They’d both have to go down in the aftermath.

“Yeah? You think that’s the kind of father he needs? Some kind of fucking psycho who acts out of vengeance whenever it suits his needs? An animal who doesn’t even think himself good enough to have connections, let alone allow anyone close? Is that the kind of man I’m supposed to welcome into the life of my child, one that barges in and demands something that is not his to demand?” Dani asked, her expression frantic, enraged.

It broke his heart. Not only because she was saying it to him, but because she was right. It felt like someone had thrust a hot dagger into his heart and then twisted it with all their strength, and he knew Dani to have plenty of strength. His ears hummed and he was starkly aware of the heavy thuds of his heart, torn and battered as it was.

Wordlessly, he looked down at the little boy, a perfect copy of himself if there had ever been one, and kissed him on the forehead. A breath escaped his lips, reverent in a way, and he closed his eyes as the child threw his arms around his neck, his grip already strong. He would be a strong man one day, there would be no doubt of that.

“Be a good boy for your mother,” he whispered into Roman’s ear, before gently unhooking the boy’s hands from around his neck and handing him over to Dani.

Daniella’s eyes were all fire and spite, but the moment she got Ro in her arms, she seemed to settle. Then he saw tears brimming, but he never stayed to see if one would fall for him. Wordlessly, he pushed past her, heading toward the door and then into the night air, which nipped at him. His hands rolled into fists once more and he could hear Dani faintly calling for him, his name sweet on her mouth. But it was too little. And it was too late.

She hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. And that kind of confirmation was not something Shaun had needed.