Chapter 20: Sour Cucumber
“Then come with me.”
The words fell into Nozomi Sakura’s ears like a stone sinking into deep water, and for a brief moment, she forgot how to breathe.
The tone was flat, bland as boiled water, stripped of any emotion.
And that very neutrality made it far more disturbing.
It was agreement on the surface, yet beneath it lay the clearest refusal.
Nozomi snapped awake.
There was no real foundation between her and Alan. Forget Akari Hojo, she suspected even Hojo’s younger sister was closer to him than she was.
She was nothing more than an outsider he had known for less than half a month.
A sour, nameless feeling churned in her chest.
It wasn’t quite jealousy, but it was irritating all the same.
Her hands, resting on her thighs, clenched so tightly that not even a sliver of air could slip between her fingers.
Alan noticed her sudden silence and turned to look at her.
Damn it.
We’ve already broken up…
“What’s wrong?”
“Ah—”
Nozomi pulled herself together.
A bright smile snapped into place. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and spoke lightly.
“I was just joking. You two already made plans in advance. Dragging along an outsider would be awkward, wouldn’t it?”
She meant to sound casual, but the stiffness in her politeness only made it feel more forced, far more than if she had simply agreed to meet Akari Honne.
Alan studied her for a long moment.
“Do you actually want to come?”
The question pierced straight through her defenses.
Nozomi’s gaze darted away. Her heart pounded, her palms damp with sweat.
Still, she forced a rigid smile.
“Huh? No, not really.”
Alan didn’t respond.
His steady gaze held her in place. After only a few seconds, she couldn’t endure it anymore and lowered her head.
Regret washed over her.
Damn it.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come meet Akari Honne,” Alan said, looking at the side of her face. “That girl has problems. Bad temper. Even her sister can’t deal with her.”
Nozomi blinked in surprise.
Her pale ear twitched. The tight knot in her chest loosened, just a little. She looked up.
“Then… she’s still willing to go out with you?”
“Mm.”
Alan nodded.
“Matter-of-fact, she likes me.”
“…”
Staring at his calm expression, Nozomi didn’t know what to say.
Casually announcing another girl’s feelings right in front of his girlfriend, only a real jerk would do something like that.
And yet, to her own surprise, she wasn’t angry.
“So you’re still going to see her?” she asked. “Aren’t you worried she’ll cling to you?”
“I’m not worried.”
“If I avoided her, that would mean I had something to hide.”
“The so-called ‘impossible’ really is impossible. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have posted that photo with you. She can see it.”
“Oh.”
The word slipped out softly.
The panic in Nozomi’s chest finally settled.
“You don’t need to worry about your friends recognizing me either,” Alan continued. “It’s just a photo. They’ve never met me. If I change clothes, no one will know.”
“Oh.”
“Alright. Everything’s out in the open.”
Alan zipped his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and met her eyes.
“But more importantly, focus on the assignments I gave you. If your grades don’t reach the target, you won’t get a single yen.”
He turned off the air conditioner and left the classroom without another word.
“…”
Nozomi watched his retreating back, her eyes filled with complicated light.
She bit her lip.
How unfair.
Going on a date with another girl and sounding so righteous about it.
Still, whatever the case, right now she was the one he called his girlfriend.
The more she replayed his words, the lighter her heart felt.
Then, suddenly, the feeling peaked.
She burst out laughing, bright and explosive, like fireworks.
---
Noon.
The Akari residence.
Akari Honne stood in front of her bedroom mirror, holding up outfit after outfit, scrutinizing her reflection while muttering nonstop.
“This one’s okay, but it’s too soft. Totally not my style…”
“This one’s way too flashy. When did I even buy this?”
“This one’s awful…”
Try on. Toss aside.
Clothes covered the chair, the bed, the floor. Her room looked like a battlefield of fabric.
She even dug out an old outfit. To her surprise, it still fit after all these years.
She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, then flushed and hurled it into the trash.
Next came a white dress. When she zipped it up, the bodice gaped pitifully.
“Sis! Why are your clothes in my closet?!”
“…”
After who knew how long, she finally narrowed the chaos down to three acceptable outfits and stuffed them into her suitcase. The kimono had been bought with her mother just last month.
Sweat trickled down her back. Even the harshest piano practice had never exhausted her like this.
She wiped her forehead and collapsed onto the bed.
Clothes chosen. Next, review tomorrow’s plan.
Birthday trip to Tokyo. Alan had asked where she wanted to go so he could make arrangements.
Honne had refused outright.
What fun was there in letting him plan everything?
She narrowed her eyes with a smile, curled her legs beneath her, and hugged herself into a small ball.
Opening the notepad on her phone, she skimmed her checklist again. She and her sister were leaving for Tokyo tonight.
Halfway through, a notification banner slid down.
[Alan: …]
Honne blinked.
Alan never posted unless it mattered.
She tapped it.
A caption appeared.
Please take care of me from now on.
Below it, a photo of him with another girl.
?????
It felt as if a needle pierced her heart.
Her pupils shrank.
She shot upright.
Clutching her phone, she bolted out of her room.
“Sis!”
Akari Honne forgot her slippers as she ran, bare feet slapping against the wooden floor. Her small face was tight, her hair bristling like a startled cat.
She stormed into the living room.
“What’s wrong?”
Akari Hojo didn’t even look up.
Knees together, she held a cucumber like a microphone, eyes glued to the television.
Seeing her sister so absurdly relaxed sent Honne’s temper soaring.
How can she sit there eating cucumber at a time like this? No wonder her boyfriend ran off, she probably didn’t even notice!
Honne planted herself in front of the TV, blocking most of the screen.
“Hm?”
Hojo blinked, gaze drifting from the obscured screen to the furious girl in front of her.
“What is it? Finished packing already? Or are you throwing another tantrum?”
Honne bit her lip, storm clouds gathering in her eyes. “You knew all along, didn’t you?”
Silence.
Hojo took a deliberate bite of cucumber and chewed slowly.
“Why didn’t you tell me something like this?” Honne demanded.
“You know now,” Hojo replied after swallowing, her smile faint, almost amused.
Honne’s eyes turned icy. Her thin shoulders trembled. “So that’s your attitude?”
Hojo tilted her head.
“What attitude would you prefer? Should I scream, starve myself, lock myself in my room and cry until I need antidepressants? Or lash out at some innocent stranger so everyone knows I’m miserable? Maybe hop on the next train to Tokyo and demand Alan explain why he suddenly has a girlfriend?”
Honne couldn’t speak.
Her lip trembled. Tears spilled over.
“Don’t.” Hojo reached out and gently wiped them away.
Smack.
“Stupid!” Honne slapped her hand aside.
Hojo didn’t flinch. She only smiled softly.
“If he’s made up his mind, accept it. Love you have to beg for is cheap and humiliating. You’re seeing Alan tomorrow. If you ruin your eyes crying, you won’t enjoy it.”
Tears streamed down Honne’s face.
She couldn’t hear the words anymore. Her heart simply hurt. Something bright and precious had shattered.
“You don’t love him anymore, do you?” she sobbed. “You used to love him so much. And he loved you. So why… why…”
Hojo blinked, then let out a quiet laugh.
“Honne, people change. At fourteen, I liked Alan. At sixteen, I loved him. Now I’m seventeen, and he’s given up on me. So I stopped loving him. Is that really so hard to understand?”
“That’s ridiculous!”
Hojo shook her head, looking into Honne’s tear-blurred eyes.
“Tell me, little sister. Can you swear you’ll love Alan forever?”
“I can!” Honne answered instantly, without hesitation.
“Oh?”
Hojo nodded, a trace of pity flickering in her eyes, pity she was too polite to voice aloud.
Honne saw it.
She sucked in a sharp breath, fought the urge to slap her, then turned and slammed the door.
“Disgusting!”
Bang.
Hojo remained seated, staring at the closed door for a long moment.
Silly girl.
She’s never tasted the bitterness of love. Of course she can’t keep her balance. How could she ever win his heart like that?
Hojo turned back to the television, eyes hollow.
Crunch.
She bit into the cucumber.
A sudden sourness flooded her mouth.
Startled, she paused, then smiled wryly.
So it really was just a sour cucumber after all.
