37

DAMIAN’S VIEW

"Today we are gathered here to honor our fallen who left this world so that we may live on in it."

A werewolf funeral was less of a mourning event and more of a celebration. We did not mourn her death. We celebrated and honored the lives they had lived by preparing their way to the Goddess.

Werewolves were burned. Everyone got their own place, covered with straw, on which friends and relatives put all the things that characterized and described them. Three torches were lit. One for the living left by the werewolf; one for the moon goddess who would take care of him in death and one for himself who celebrated the werewolf for his uniqueness and deeds. The smoke produced by the fire then found its way up to the sky.

There were many fires that we kindled that night. Many who died fighting for the survivors and who we would never forget. Most shed no tears. But some had lost their companions. Your Unique Partners. They cried for their lost love. Only they were allowed.

More people had gathered around a bed of straw than at the others. They recognized him for the responsibilities he had borne throughout his life and the sacrifices he had made for his people. But he received the same procedure as all the dead.

In death we were all equal. Then it no longer mattered what position we had in life. Even the mistakes were forgiven. Everyone received the same treatment because we all had the right to it. It had always been like that and it always would be like that. One of the few things that might never change.

Ethan came to my side. Together we watched as the Alpha was set on fire by his warriors and finally left this world with wolf howls. "It doesn't feel real standing here," Ethan murmured. It was a weird time for him, too, now that the fight was over.

"You mean standing here without her?" I asked, pointing to the many beds and bunks ahead. "Yeah, it's really weird." "Especially that he's not here. Surely he would have some spell up his sleeve that would drive you crazy." Ethan chuckled at the thought.

I watched Egbert's spirit as he left us for good. Karl also looked after his alpha for a long time. He was probably also thinking about how the old man had left him. Pretty heroic I thought. Because he had intercepted a bullet intended for his beta and friend. He died so that Karl, Saphira and Matthias could lead a happy life.

In any case, things got a lot more interesting now. Egbert's death automatically made Karl an Alpha. But an objection by the people would certainly make it possible to reverse this decision somehow. But they agreed, at least those who could be asked so far. However, if Karl had the support of the warriors of the Wester pack, it was very unlikely that anything would change. According to Saphira, however, Karl was always quite respected in the pack, which is why I didn't see any problems there.

"Damian." I turned to Lerhome, who continued softly, "We can begin." I nodded and looked at Ethan again. He took a deep breath and then went to our warriors. He gave me time and didn't push me to follow him. But I was ready to say goodbye. So I followed him.

As we walked I could see Niklas and Amelia. They stood a little apart, leaving room for the mourners. Something had changed between them. They had protected each other in battle, and now they were closer than ever. I knew one person who would be very happy.

I had lost many of my warriors. While they weren't killed by Gregor's orders, when we started fighting the red humans, it was mostly my people who were present. The pack members of the other alphas had to get to us first.

Many of my friends and members of the Shadow Pack gathered around the beds, leaving no one alone. They lit the torches and then waited for my signal. I joined Ethan while Lerhome went to the dead drokor.

He had died mid-fight. That was all of them in a way, but Drokor had lived in the fight, he had lived for this fight. He had taken revenge for our dead and the frightened children who had to witness the attack so closely.

I hadn't seen it happen. Lerhome described it to me later. Drokor had taken on five humans at once and finally failed on the last one. The cuts and wounds inflicted on him had sapped his strength more and more, so that he could no longer defend himself when the last one plunged his dagger into his heart.

Lerhome had killed the human. He told me that Drokor had died with a smile on his face. I believed him immediately. Such was Drokor. He had loved his life and enjoyed it to the fullest. He had nothing to regret, for he died with honor and for his people.

Ethan snapped me out of my thoughts as he also handed me a torch. I took it and stared at the ground once more to collect myself before daring to look at the tan wolf in front of me.

I had lost my brother in battle. For me one of the biggest losses since I saw the light of day. It had been a struggle of sacrifice - probably that would be how it would be remembered.

Alina wanted to give her life for Amelia. In the end I gave mine for Alina. Egbert died so that Karl could live on. And Jack intercepted a dagger meant for me by edging in front of me.

Knowing Jack, I knew the reasoning behind that decision. Jack watched me fall in love with Alina. How I got a mate, was happy and lost her. Then I got a second chance and someone tried to take it away from me.

It suited Jack not to let that happen. And as he fell to the ground in the form of his beloved wolf, he mentally invited me to promise him one more thing. I promised him that I would never forget everything that had happened that day. I promised him that I would do everything in my power to ensure that the werewolves would not have to experience anything like this again. I promised him to live, to enjoy the life he made possible for me.

I had listened to him through tears and kept nodding as he revealed his wishes to me. At that moment I didn't care what he asked of me. He could have wanted anything. I would have given it to him so he could die happy. I stayed with him, still screaming for healers, but I lost my brother before they could save him.

I straightened my shoulders and let my gaze wander over all the dead whose deeds would never be forgotten. I felt Ethan transform. For a moment I considered saying something else, but there was nothing I could say. So I lit the straw. For the friends he left behind.

I accepted the second torch. For the moon goddess he had always gotten along with and who I knew would give him a comfortable afterlife. The third torch I lit myself, for Jack and the glorious and fulfilling life he had lived.

As the fire spread and Ethan cocked his head back to let out a howl, I too looked up to see that the others had followed my example. Many fires were kindled around me.

The celebration of the dead was already a few days ago. Days spent making important decisions. Inevitable decisions that also made me call Niklas to my office.

He seemed confused as he walked into the room, which was understandable as I rarely called him in alone. But this time I just had to talk to him.

"Why am I here?" Niklas wanted to know. He had kept his distance from me for the past few days, not only because he was spending time with Amelia, but also because, as Amelia told me, he was angry with me. He blamed me for Alina not being here with us.

"I want to talk to you about an important topic." "Is it about Alina?" I clasped my hands on the table and looked at him calmly: "No, that's not possible. But I understand why you're so interested in the subject." "Really?" he asked mockingly. "I don't think so."

I could understand that too. In the last few days I hadn't done anything to find out what had happened to Alina. Would she come back to me? But that was for a good reason.

I've always trusted my feelings. It doesn't matter whether they were personal decisions or those that affected the pack. And I had a strong feeling that she was fine. That I would see her again soon. I felt her presence almost every minute. As if she was always with me. This encouraged me to organize my pack first.

"There are more important things to talk about." Niklas eyes darkened at my words and I hastened to add: "After that we can devote ourselves to Alina without being distracted by other things."

Niklas thought about my words. Apparently they were satisfactory as he sat down in the chair in front of me. He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

I took a deep breath. I didn't really think I was doing that right now. But I thought about it a lot and always decided it was a good idea. The only question was whether Niklas thought the same way.

"As I'm sure you know, my pack leadership is incomplete. Not only is Alina absent, I no longer have a beta." Jack's death automatically eliminated his post. I wasn't aware of that at first and I didn't want to deal with such a decision. But at some point I had to do it, even if such a choice was always difficult.

It had been easy with Jack. I had known him for a long time and he was the only person I had ever fully trusted.

"Do you want my advice on who would be best suited for this?" Nicholas was visibly confused. He didn't understand what I wanted from him. "Not quite. I've already made a plan." I straightened my shoulders and looked at Niklas with a grin. I just couldn't help it. "What do you think about being my new beta?"

Completely taken by surprise, Niklas fell back in his chair. Then he started laughing. He couldn't stop at all. In between, he had to take a hard breath before he tilted his head back and continued laughing.

I watched him do it. Niklas laughed completely differently than I had imagined. I'd seen him chuckle a few times, always very reticently. But definitely not that deep and loud.

I wasn't sure if I should be offended or happy that I'd finally made him laugh.

At some point Niklas opened his eyes and looked at me. Noticing that I wasn't laughing, he quickly tried to control himself. He didn't really want to succeed. Instead, funny little noises kept coming out of his mouth while he was holding it convulsively.

I waited for him to calm down completely and he asked, "Wasn't that a joke?" I smiled. "No, that wasn't a joke." "But asking me doesn't make any sense. Sure, I know you need a new beta now, but why don't you ask Ethan?"

"I did," I explained matter-of-factly, "because I thought of him first, too. But Ethan doesn't feel ready for the job." That's partly true. The main reason Ethan declined was that he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with Lisa anymore. It would be different if she lived in our village, but Ethan didn't want to put her through that.

"What about Lerhome? He's also one of your friends. You trust him." True, but if my plans work out, I had another important task for him. "It seems to me that you are looking for reasons to dissuade me from my decision."

"Oh yes, I do too. You just didn't think it through properly. If you can't take your closest friends, ask someone else in the village. Someone who has lived here a long time and who knows something about this kind of thing. Someone better suited than me."

"But I don't want anyone, I want you. I want you for this position. I don't even need to ask you. I'm your alpha, if I want you to be beta, then you will be beta." "But you ask me," Niklas stated. "That's right. I'll give you a choice. But if you keep bugging me, I'll take it away from you."

Niklas got up abruptly and supported himself on the table. He was angry. "You're making an ill-considered decision," he said tightly. "You just pick any person without really thinking about it."

"That's not true," I said calmly. I had already expected such a strong resistance, now I only had to find out why he raised it. "I was concerned. Alina always thought you were incredibly intelligent. She admired your resourcefulness. You see things differently than most and bring a new perspective on an issue. You are strong and smart. Like you see, I've been thinking."

But that didn't interest Niklas at all. "That's bullshit. Total bullshit. Take anyone but not me." "Why are you resisting my decision so much?" "Because I don't deserve it!" Niklas yelled at me.

Then I had my answer. Alina would have known how to deal with such a situation. But I wasn't her and she wasn't here. Let's see if that would become a problem.

"Now that you've got Amelia, you think your luck's run out, huh?" Niklas pursed his lips and stared down at me.

"You know, we're very different people. At least that's what I thought at first." I shrugged my shoulders impassively and watched Niklas closely. "Enjoy the life you're building to the fullest and don't give up at some point because you think it's enough. Take more and more as you need before it no longer serves you and you've wasted your life, because you always thought you didn't deserve anything."

Niklas wrinkled his nose, he refused any eye contact with me. "I understand that you don't believe me. I wouldn't have done it at your age either. But let me tell you one thing: I think you're perfect for this job."

Finally he looked at me. I had no idea what was troubling Niklas so, what made him think of himself that way. But maybe I could give him a hand to help him. Whether or not he accepted it was his decision.

"Two months," I suggested. "You're in the beta position for two months, consider it a taster. If after that you still don't want it, I'll respect that. But those two months are non-negotiable."

I got up and held out my hand to Niklas. "Alina would love that, you know that." From now on it was his business. And Niklas thought about it. I saw that clearly in his eyes. Finally he got up too and looked from my hand to my face. Then he chimed in and he had to smile before asking, "What will our first assignment be?"