44

SKIERS HAVE IT HARD

Raven went into his tent. He didn't want to see Henry now. After telling me Henry's sad story, he knew he wouldn't be able to lie to Henry right now. It was fine with me too, then I could come up with something without worrying about Raven getting in the way.

I stepped through the tent entrance. Robin sat on the bed and let Max shave her. Henry stood in front of the bed and glared at me angrily. "Where have you been?" he growled.

"Up by the wash tent."

Henry took off his belt. "We had an agreement. It was either the easy way or the hard way. So you made your choice."

I took a step back, startled. That wasn't quite what I expected. With slaps and a lecture. Maybe some lousy sword practice or something like that. Robin's eyes widened and he bit back a grin. I guess I made a pretty stupid face. I felt my hands and legs go to sleep.

"Henry, I..."

"Don't do it, be so good! Nothing you say explains why you just ran away from your punishment and my orders! And before you come up with a lie, shut the fuck up!"

I took a step back, Henry took a step towards me. I didn't stand a chance against Henry... If I turned myself in. And that wasn't my intention.

"Don't be so rude. I'm not going to be the first to give you a beating." To be honest, yes! Henry grabbed me, I backed away and quickly circled him. I ran to the front of the tent, dropped quickly, and squeezed under the tarp to freedom.

Apparently Henry saw that this was my plan coming. Because he came around the corner before I got up. I dodged his grip again and ran. And he followed me persistently. I ran through every difficulty that presented itself. Through the big beer tent where the men on the night shift had gathered to drink. It was packed. I zig-zagged through the crowd, hoping Henry's size would be an obstacle. But it was Henry Campbell who was at stake. The men simply avoided him.

I heeled to the left and ran through the rope-fenced flock of hens, rousing them as wildly as I could. The area for the chickens was so large that there was still room for a tent. Cows also grazed here and pigs wallowed. But none of that mattered to Henry. He didn't give up the pursuit.

So I tried submersion. I ran through the crowd of white tents, making random turns and occasionally glancing over my shoulder. When I felt I had largely left Henry behind, I crouched in the stable among the horses. Luckily I was able to catch my breath...

That wasn't funny anymore! It was on my tongue to fling at Henry that I was a woman all along. But I was afraid that this would only spur him on even more at the moment. A shadow fell over me...

"Nash." growled Henry. "Don't run away again, you're not that hard to find."

Still, I tried to run away again, but this time he didn't let himself be tricked and ended on the spot.

Then Henry disappeared to Theo, while I was supposed to do my exercises with the stick. However, I was so outraged and in a rebellious mood that I marched to Raven to vent my anger to someone. However, he only laughed uproariously.

"I didn't think it was that funny!"

"I do! Last night I felt like doing it myself." Raven laughed so heartily that tears came to his eyes.

I snorted angrily. "I'm nineteen years old. It's unfair."

"Go and tell him. Nobody will stop you." A dimple had crept into his cheeks. "I told you, confess everything to Henry. If you had listened to me, the morning would have been different."

I growled and wanted to leave, but Raven held me back for a moment. "Don't be angry, dearest. Come on. Sit down." At my seething look, he roared with laughter...

Henry took a deep breath and marched back to her tent. Theo had yelled at him and poured out threats. No reason, but it was his routine. Henry had to put up with this every week. Robin was already shaved and throwing dice with Engelbert. Nash sat on his haystack and watched the men with a stony expression. Again he noticed that the boy had a rather pretty face. If he now looked so serious and concentrated, he reminded a bit of a girl. Actually more like a woman.

The boy looked at him out of the corner of his eye. The look was so hostile that Henry was amazed. Then he grinned and lifted the canvas. "Come on, Nash. I've got a long shift behind me. Fancy a beer?"

Engelbert looked up. "I would like to."

"But nobody asked you." Nash looked uncertain. But he got up and followed Henry.

It was full in the big tent, but not loud because the men were all tired. Like Henry, they had come off the night shift. Henry called for breakfast and made sure they were seated quietly. The tables were just empty barrels with a platter.

"And, what is it. Sour?" he asked with a touch of glee.

Nash's mouth twisted. "Naturally."

Henry grinned and cocked his head. "Honestly? Do you want to blame me? I've shown patience with you for a long time."

"Unlike Engelbert, or what!?"

Henry didn't allow himself to be provoked and a whore brought breakfast. "To be honest, yep."

Nash shook his head, growling. "Can we stop talking about this?"

Fine too, thought Henry. He didn't want to discuss it to death either. But he could remember that as a boy he never understood why he got into trouble. He had always felt the need to know what he had done wrong. If Nash felt otherwise, Henry was right too.

"I'm sorry." Nash suddenly growled. "I know I'm not making it easy for you."

"Let's agree that I hated as much as you did. Let's just try not to let it get to that point again." He held out his hand to Nash. He nodded and hit it.

ROSALINDE

Turns out Rosalinde had a crush on Henry. She was always after him and indecently often sought his nearness. It didn't bother him at all to keep giving her what she wanted, but he couldn't really get excited about her. It just didn't work. Nothing about her kindled his fire, made him flush, or intoxicated him. It amused him, relaxed him. But they were just not made for more.

In the last week, they often slept together. Rosalinde even told Henry that she would like to have children one day. From then on, he made her realize again that he wasn't that interested in her. She took it like he didn't mean it. He didn't know what to do then either.

Nash, on the other hand, was in a bad mood and so provocative in Rosalinde's direction that Henry found no more excuses. So he made up his mind to talk to him. As expected, Henry fell on deaf ears.

"Why should she care if I like her or not?" Nash grabbed Henry's sword and practiced. By now he was ready to wield a real sword.

Henry folded his arms across his chest. "She doesn't. But your heckling annoys me." Arrogantly, Nash shrugged and ignored Henry. "What's your problem? Rosalinde has never hurt you."

The squire made a face. "Why should I have anything against her? I don't care about her."

The young soldier was impatient. "We both know that's not true."

Nash was like a real woman when he was being stubborn. And it made Henry almost as powerless. "Damn, Nash! You're playing offended, even though I haven't hurt you! Can you explain that to me?"

"Must I?"

What the..! "I beg you."

"I hate women who so obviously sneak up on you. So impose, offer."

"She's a whore, Nash. Higher up, but still."

"I just don't like that." He stuffed the sword back into its sheath. "You've told her a thousand times that you're just passing the time with her and yet she's somehow planning your wedding. And I think that's a damn bad trait."

God, he's complicated as a woman too! Henry raised his hands in surrender. "If you would be so kind as to overlook her imperfections and let me have my fun, I would be very grateful to you."

Nash's piercing blue eyes looked up at him sullenly. The gaze was so sharp, the blue so clear, that Henry couldn't breathe and had to remind himself that those big round eyes didn't belong to a woman. "Please, as you wish. Please do me a favor and let me pass."

"Where are you going? Are you lighting something again? A witch this time for a change?"

Nash refused to answer and just rolled his eyes in disgust. Henry thought the brat had done more than enough show off today. He grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "I asked you something."

"Are you afraid I'll get your Rosalinde? Don't worry. The goddess with the sapphire blue eyes belongs only to you and the rest of the camp. I won't touch her."

"Careful, Nash." growled Henry. It didn't matter to him what the boy said. The disgust in his eyes, on the other hand, bothered him.

Nash said nothing. He just looked Henry in the eye. Then he freed himself with a slight jerk and marched out of the tent.

Raven put down the wine cup and raised the hatchet again. Today it was his turn to chop wood. "And then?"

"I left. I think I'm acting like an idiot."

"I think so too. After all, it's absolutely none of your business. And it doesn't matter to you whether you like her or not."

I hadn't told Raven about my feelings for Henry. I don't understand them myself. So how should I explain them to someone? "But she's always there when we eat and fondles him. And he puts up with it. Like a... a... self-absorbed rooster!"

Raven laughed and stacked the logs. "Describes a Campbell fairly accurately." He frowned, still smiling. "You can't blame a twenty-year-old man for enjoying his life. And he does."

I nodded. Because I knew any woman would drive me insane by his side. My jealousy annoyed me the most. Because that really wasn't part of my nature. But the fact that Rosalinde was able to take Henry from under my nose because I was playing a boy, that it was so easy for her, made me angry. Both her and Henry... That confused me.

Raven put his hand on my shoulder. "Be honest with yourself and with Henry."

"What do you mean danit?"

The thirty year old smiled. "Come on, Nash. What do you think I mean by that?"

"I can't enlighten Henry."

Raven looked at the sky. "Then get used to living with soldiers. Otherwise his cover will be blown."

Panting, Rosalinde slid onto his chest and then rolled onto the bed next to him. Her small hand ran over his stomach and traced the muscles there. Henry closed his eyes. He had had too much wine and was now tired. Maybe it was the alcohol, but his dream was restless.

He was standing in a cone of light, everything around him was black. He had drawn his blade, waiting tensely for his opponent to step into the light. When he did, it was Theo standing across from him. Taller and younger like Henry was little again. Supernaturally quick, he brought his sword down on Henry, sliced his chest across his chest and laughed like the devil himself. Henry wanted revenge, but his father was gone.

Then he heard a blade slide across the floor and spun around. He was eye to eye with himself. They crossed swords, but the other Henry reached up and pressed his hand to the gash on the real Henry's chest. Again he wanted to hit back. But again he was alone.

Now the pain was greater than anything else, the light went out and it was dark. Only the pain was still there. Just as he was about to despair, a small shimmer appeared. It became more and more. The pain lessened, the loneliness disappeared. Nash stood in front of him. He looked at Henry sadly, the blue eyes full of sorrow and anguish. Henry wanted to say something, but the squire turned his back on him. The light grew dim.

Nash went off, taking the light with him, and Henry's loneliness returned like a punch. He gasped, falling to his knees. He heard an unknown woman sobbing and crying. A thousand daggers suddenly hovered over him. They trembled and drove towards him-

"Henry! To the horses!" Young Campbell was suddenly awake. The sweat stood out on his chest and yet he shivered. When he got up, he pulled his shirt over his head. The sound of his comrades getting ready slowly got through to him.

Rosalinde's eyes were filled with terror. The sight of her aroused a guilty conscience after his dream and he could hardly bear to look at her. "What's the matter, Henry?"

"What do I know. Now it's time to take up arms."

Nash suddenly burst into the tent. As glad as Henry was for him, he was also ashamed. God damn it, Henry! That was a meaningless dream! "Sorry to disturb you."

The squire brought Henry's sword belt and chain mail. "You can't go to the battlefield yet"

This time Nash was disappointed. "I can already wield the sword."

"Nevertheless. Stay here."

Nash hesitated, but nodded. Henry disappeared. It was only when he saw his horse that he noticed that he hadn't said goodbye to Rosalinde.