Chapter 12: A Primitive "Regressor"
“Lord Yvell, I am not certain I can do this.”
“You know that you must.”
Esphera was carrying out the plan I had suggested to her.
With Agni still asleep and the villagers on their way to the top of the mountain, Esphera was a bit tight on time, but that was nothing that a little trick of perception couldn’t fix.
Despite this, Esphera was still uncertain whether she could pull this off by herself.
This was to be expected. While playing with dreams was a common practice among gods in mythology, this was going to be Esphera’s first attempt.
For clarification, no, she wasn’t worried that she might accidentally fry Agni’s brain. This isn’t Neural Gear.
She was worried about whether she could truly manage to alleviate Agni’s pain.
While the week Esphera spent with her followers was quite an enriching experience for her, that experience didn’t completely translate into learning how to heal broken hearts.
So it was only natural for her to be this concerned, especially knowing how Agni feels about her.
“But, what if I make a mistake?”
“What if you make a mistake?”
“Huh?”
If she made a mistake, that would be that.
It would be terrible, certainly, but the village would continue to exist regardless of what happened.
As cold and cruel as it might be to say, from the perspective of a goddess, Agni should just be one among many of her followers. No, perhaps calling her just another follower would be wrong.
Agni had clearly lost faith in Esphera after Fish’s passing.
Whatever happened to Agni from here onward likely wouldn’t have many consequences for Esphera, no matter how fragile her divinity was at the moment.
It’s not like I don’t understand what Esphera is feeling, though.
As someone who had also lost someone in my life, I also wanted to help Agni, but not even I knew how to help someone in mourning, let alone someone who had lost a lover.
Even I don’t know if I’ve moved on myself yet. If I can’t help myself, how could I possibly help others facing the same problems?
But Esphera wasn’t the same. She was a goddess. A real constellation, not a phony like me.
And unlike me, she had far more empathy for others. Who better would understand a person in deep grief than someone who could casually relive said person’s memories?
If there was anyone who had the best chance of helping Agni through her grief, it had to be Esphera.
She had all the time and power in the world to make things right.
“Esphera, you are a goddess. A creation deity with the heart of a caring mother. If there is anyone in this entire world who can help that young woman move on, it is you.”
“Lord Yvell…”
“Even if you make a mistake here and there, you will learn what you have done wrong and do it better next time. This chance is not Agni’s last, and it would not be yours either.”
That’s right.
Esphera, the loving, protective, Ringed Star Mother.
There was no one better for the job.
“Esphera, I believe in you. You have learned a great deal in the past few weeks. You understand your followers’ hearts better than anyone. You can do this.”
Instinctively, I placed my palm on top of Esphera’s head and started petting her.
Is this what it’s like having a little sister?
Though she may be a constellation, she gives me all sorts of little-sister vibes, from how she was a head shorter than me to how she acted.
While petting her might have been a bit too intimate a gesture, she seemed to enjoy it as the worry on her face quickly washed away.
Her platinum hair was soft, smooth, and shiny.
I suppose I shouldn’t expect any less from a goddess.
“... I cannot take this~”
“Did you say something, Esphera?”
“Nothing! Nothing. It is nothing, Lord Yvell. I-I will give it a try. And give it my all.”
Hm?
That was strange.
Anyway, it seems that Esphera has regained her confidence.
Now, all I could do was wait—wait for Esphera to succeed.
Maybe I ought to give her a whole congratulations speech once this is over.
I just hope she pulls off that ‘final deal’ right. Then again, I suppose she isn’t doing this all alone, so I probably don’t have to worry too much.
“... Fish?”
“What? Agni, face, weird.”
Agni was naturally stunned at the sight of a living Fish standing right in front of her.
Not only was Fish alive, but it was Fish as a child, with his body still lacking the muscles he had grown when he had become a hunter.
“Agni, get up. Chief, mad.”
“Father? But, Father…”
The last memory she had of her father was of that fight she had with him.
Agni, who had lost all faith in the Ringed Star Mother, had been acting rudely towards Esphera’s Apostle and Holy Spirit.
When her father, Bear, came to scold her, she cursed Esphera, causing him to grow enraged and strike her across the face with his fist.
He left her at the riverbank, telling her not to return to the village.
Recalling such a painful memory, Agni scrunched up her face, tears threatening to spill.
This naturally surprised Fish, who couldn’t tell what was going through her head.
“Agni, okay? Chief, fight?”
“... No, no.”
She pushed down her boiling emotions and took a look around her surroundings.
Suddenly, it was no longer nighttime, and she was nowhere near the riverbank where she had slept.
She noticed that they were under the shade of a tree, and it was likely midday, judging from the position of the ringed sun in the sky.
The tree was familiar, not too far from the village. Agni and Fish had played here often as children. Perhaps that’s why Fish had managed to find her, whatever his purpose.
Her mind was still struggling to process all of this information at once. It was almost as if she were suddenly pulled back in time, but surely that couldn’t be.
Was this… a dream?
Rock and Stone, the bald brothers, once told her that whenever they found themselves stuck in one of their strange dreams, where they found themselves being chased by giant frogs, they would pinch their cheeks to wake up.
They claimed that pain wasn’t supposed to exist in dreams, and that once you realized your cheek didn’t hurt when pinched, you would naturally wake up. She didn’t know if this was true, since she’d never tried it herself—but what other choice did she have to test the waters?
She decided to pinch her cheek.
Gyuuu~
It… hurt. It definitely hurt her.
“Agni, what, doing? Look, stupid.”
“Huh?!? You, stupid, Fish!”
Out of embarrassment, Agni reflexively flicked Fish on the forehead, just as she had always done whenever she scolded him while they were still kids.
Flick!
“Ah!”
Naturally, her cheeks were now bright crimson as she glared at Fish, who was rubbing his forehead in pain.
“Why?! Me, honest.”
“Honesty, bad! Kind, to woman!”
“You, girl, though. Not, kind.”
FLICK!
“Ow! Stop! Hurt!”
Fish fell on his rear on the second forehead flick, unable to bear the pain as he glared at Agni resentfully.
Perhaps because she had put too much force into that last forehead flick, she felt a sharp pain run through her finger.
“... Painful. Why?”
“Painful, because, hurt! Agni, dumb!”
“Why, you!”
The two children spent the next few minutes exchanging fists under the tree’s shade.
While Fish had the upper hand at first, being a boy and all, the tables suddenly turned.
Agni, who had years of experience dealing with Fish physically, was quick to send her strongest kick straight to his crotch at the right opportunity.
Naturally, this left the young Fish completely incapacitated in the grass, looking like his soul had left him.
“... Hurt… Hurt…”
“Fish, stupid! Be! Kind! To! Woman!”
“... Okay, Agni, woman.”
“Good!”
Agni stood proudly atop the defeated Fish, acting childlike.
While the realization was slow, she started to feel pain all over her body.
Pain that felt real. Was this… not a dream after all? Could she have been sent back in time?
What could have caused this?
Could it have been…
(Ungrateful! Ungrateful! Esphera gives, and gives life! Life! Our life!)
Agni shook her head.
There is no way that lousy goddess could have done this, she convinced herself.
She sure could not be capable of such a strange phenomenon, she thought.
But… whatever the case, this felt real. It didn’t seem like a dream. That meant that right now, Fish was actually still alive. The Fish she loved so dearly…
“... Ughhh…”
Fish groaned in pain underneath her foot.
Finally realizing this all might be real, she quickly pulled back her foot and knelt to the ground, embracing his incapacitated self with all her strength.
“Fish! Fish! Fish!”
“Stop, stupid Agni! Hurt! Hurt!”
“Fish!”
She cried out his name for an hour with tears running down her cheeks, snot flinging everywhere. And it would take a little while longer for Fish to get her to let go of him.
Agni quickly accepted this as her new reality.
A world where Fish was still alive. One where she could relive all those years with him all over again, where things would be different.
While perhaps she embraced this all too strange phenomenon a little too soon, she didn’t care. She was just happy that she had Fish.
Of course, this led to some strange circumstances that Fish had to bear with.
“... Agni, close. Too, close.”
“No. This, okay.”
“Ugh…”
Agni had become a lot more proactive in getting Fish’s attention.
Sometimes, she would hold his hand while they walked together.
Other times, she would embrace him while they were resting after play.
Days passed, then weeks, then months, then even years.
Fish, who had grown accustomed to her skinship, began to reciprocate, doing the same.
They were now both at the age where it wasn’t strange to start having feelings for one another.
Fish was a lot taller and stronger now. Strong enough that even Agni, who used to overpower him with ease, couldn’t toy with him anymore.
“Angry! Why, so strong?!?”
“Become, hunter. Hunters, strong.”
“Unfair!”
Whenever Fish wanted to join a hunt, Agni would try to persuade him against joining. And when that didn’t work, she’d try forcing him to stay.
Through these countless instances, she had learned various grappling techniques to bully him into staying with her in the village. Eventually, though, he grew too strong.
That didn’t mean she lost all the time now. But the odds were always in his favor these days.
“Why, stop, me?”
“...”
“Agni.”
“...”
Agni was naturally frustrated at this.
She knew that Fish becoming a hunter was inevitable.
Fishing with spears could only allow him to catch enough to feed a few for a day at best, and that was after spending hours in the water. Not only that, but spearfishing was just too difficult.
Spearing those fast, small creatures, which were hard to see in the water, while fighting against the river current, was just too hard for most.
Hunting, on the other hand, brought the best results. With enough numbers, one could easily down prey in minutes and feed half of the village. And there was plenty of prey to hunt in the plains, so it was simply a far more efficient practice.
It was inevitable that the older men in the village would rope Fish into hunting. And it was natural for Fish to agree, since being a successful hunter was a source of pride for most men, while being a successful fisher was not.
Now that she could neither persuade him nor stop him by force, she felt anxiety creeping up.
Agni bit her lip, trying to force the unpleasant feeling back down.
Can’t this go on? Can’t things just stay the same? Deep down, she harbored such thoughts, yet at the same time, she knew that… this wasn’t right.
She didn’t know what wasn’t right, but… she knew that no matter what she did, it was futile.
Fish, who noticed Agni’s strange behavior, tried to approach her.
He reached a hand out to grab her shoulder.
“Agni? Okay?”
Fwip.
But she took a step back, leaving his hand to grasp at air.
Agni, afraid that she’d let her emotions spill, turned around and ran. Ran as fast as she could.
“Agni!”
Fish called out to her from behind, but she didn’t look back.
She just kept running, and running. She didn’t know where she was going, but wherever she was heading didn’t matter. She just wanted to stay as far away from Fish as possible.
Fish was about to chase after Agni, who was almost out of view, when a silver-haired woman appeared behind him and grabbed him by the arm.
“It would be best if you gave her some time to herself. She… needs time to think.”
Fish turned to look at the silver-haired woman, whose worried gaze was directed at the escaping Agni.
“Agni, okay?...”
“... It would be a lie to say that she is not. You know her better than I do.”
The silver-haired woman sighed. Despite this, she held hope.
The ringed sun was now beginning to set on the horizon. Nighttime was soon to come.
“I am worried. But, just as he believes in me, I too should believe in her. Do you not feel the same way?”
“... Yes. Agree.”
Fish turned back to look in the direction Agni ran off to. She was nowhere to be seen now.
The silver-haired woman clasped her hands together and bowed her head.
All they could do now was hope.
After running with all her heart, panting in exhaustion, Agni found herself back home, at the village chief’s hut. Sitting in front of the hut, sharpening his wooden spear with an edged stone, was her father, Bear. Confused by his daughter’s disheveled appearance, he stood up and approached her.
“Agni, what, wrong?”
Agni flinched as her father placed his hands on her shoulders. Although years had passed since she had ‘returned’, she still remembered those scalding words her father yelled at her that night. Despite her concerns, however, her father continued speaking in a gentle voice.
“Want, talk?”
