Chapter 14: A Chance of Reunion
What comes after death?
This was a question I asked myself after my mother's passing.
Ding.
9A-Corvet:
Hey, I heard about what happened. I’m sorry for your loss. Do you… want to go out for a drink? Y’know, drown the sadness with booze and shit.
Lots of people have different answers.
Reincarnation. An afterlife in heaven. Eternal torment in hell. All that mystical and religious stuff.
If you asked me, I wouldn’t have a proper answer to give, but I think I’d rather not get reincarnated into a waterbug or an unlovable worm.
That fancy otherworld reincarnation stuff might sound better, but I wouldn’t exactly like to get roped into the whims of noblemen as a shit-stinking peasant.
Click. Clack. Click. Clack.
YVELL:
You know I’m not much of a drinker.
9A-Corvet:
Come on man. I’ll pay. You know I’ve got the money.
YVELL:
Fucking chaebol ass motherfucker. Do you have to flaunt that shit every chance you get?
9A-Corvet:
>cashfan.gif
I wasn’t too interested in what came after death.
Thinking too hard about the inevitable future rarely does anyone any favors.
If anything, I was more concerned with the aftermath surrounding death than with whatever came after.
I always felt like death brought more trouble to the living than it did the dead.
Ding.
9A-Corvet:
Let’s go to that bar you like. I’ll come pick you up.
YVELL:
I didn’t say yes, though? I’m not in the mood to drink either.
9A-Corvet:
I’m already outside your condo lol.
“What?”
I peered out the window, and sure enough, that familiar tanned suit-wearing motherfucker was right outside my condominium building, sporting a smug ass grin.
With little choice, I put on the nearest set of clothes I could find and took the elevator down to the lobby, passing by my neighbor on the way. We exchanged greetings before leaving the elevator for different floors.
Naturally, that bastard, Corve—no, Luke, was already there in the lobby, looking gaudy as ever.
“Luke, can’t you come looking more normal for once? You’re going to give people strange ideas.”
“What? Are people going to think I’m picking up your femboy-framed ass as my escort?”
“... Luco Rinaldi Di Castello, I will not hesitate to de-ball you here in this lobby if you speak one more word.”
“Hahahaha!”
That annoying university classmate of mine laughed heartily as he smacked me in the back.
“Let’s go. Bartender’s waiting.”
“... Did you reserve the place or some shit?”
“Yeah, got a problem with that?”
“Fucking hell. This is why Kenja calls you gayge all the time.”
“Let the incel bark. Just wait ‘till he finds out I dated that idol he likes.”
Oi, he’ll fucking kill you if he finds out about that.
We walked towards a familiar, expensive-looking car parked in front of the building—the one that served as his online namesake.
I opened the door to the front passenger seat, while Luke took the driver’s seat.
Luke started up the car and drove it out of the parking lot and onto the highway.
Flashing lights whizzed by as the car ramped up its speed.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my recent messages.
One of them was from my mother. I had already read it before, but seeing it again made me sigh.
Was it out of annoyance or regret?
Honestly, I’ve no clue. I still don’t understand myself all that well.
Whatever the case, mommy and daddy issues were just part of the package as a NEET, I suppose. Fuck me.
On the topic of death, I suppose she would have cared a lot about the afterlife.
That thoughtless zealot would’ve spent hours lecturing me to be a good boy so I wouldn’t end up burning in the pits of hell, unaware that she was guilty of practicing the very things she warned me against.
Eyes tinged with obsession. No, was it fear? The classic SSRI stare—wide, glassy, desperate for reassurance.
I suppose the idea of an afterlife must’ve brought her comfort, just as it did others. A peaceful place of reunion with connections lost to the cruelty of time and circumstance.
It was no wonder people like her lost their heads over such a place. She had lost a lot in her life, after all, so it was no surprise she became the person she did.
“You seem like you’re deep in thought.”
“Eyes on the road, Luke.”
“I’m just worried. Can’t I be worried for a friend?”
I turned to face Luke, who was sporting his usual shit-eating grin as he kept his eyes on the road.
I could already imagine our Chaos server's resident cosplay princess, OriOP, flipping the bird at this guy's annoying mug.
“You can be way too pushy sometimes. What if I come out as an alcoholic after this?”
“You have more self-control than that. Besides, if not times like now, what better time would there be to share a drink with a friend?”
“... Yeah.”
I turned my head back to the window, watching as figures of people disappeared into the darkness of the night as we passed them by.
An afterlife, huh?
Well, maybe if this asshole died, it’d make me feel better knowing there’d still be a place where I could meet him again.
“Hey, Luke.”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Luke’s mouth gape open for just a moment before returning to his usual annoying grin.
“Yeah. Anytime.”
The gears finally started turning in Agni’s mind as she desperately attempted to understand what couldn’t be understood.
It was a dream more real than reality. The indiscernible ate away the world, leaving only fragments of what was.
The infinite darkness stretched beyond Agni’s capability of understanding where things ended and where things began. Indeed, this was a situation that made no sense at all.
Yet, despite the nonsensicality of it all, her head began to clear.
“I’m… Where is this?... Huh?!?”
Suddenly, Agni found herself capable of more refined speech, akin to that of the Apostle and the Holy Spirit.
“I-I don’t understand what’s going on. What’s happening?”
“Calm, child. No harm will come to you, I assure you.”
A gentle, soothing voice, akin to that of a loving mother. But the voice carried with it a power that reverberated through Agni’s very soul. She turned her head up to look at the owner of the voice—the silver-haired woman.
Instinctively, Agni recognized who this was.
As if announcing her identity, a silver ringed sun appeared from behind the woman.
“...”
“Yes, child. It is I, Esphera—the Ringed Star Mother. Your creator and guardian deity.”
Esphera looked upon the stunned Agni and watched as a myriad of emotions clouded her face. Surely, Agni must have had plenty of things to ask her. Surely, Agni must have felt deep resentment towards her. And yet, now that she was in the presence of the deity herself, she didn’t know what to think, feel, or say.
Before the goddess, she felt infinitesimally small. Like a grain of sand floating in a pool of water.
“Agni.”
A familiar voice caused Agni to turn her head elsewhere.
Perhaps because of the suddenness of this all-too-confusing situation, she hadn’t noticed the target of her intense affection standing beside the silver-haired woman.
Unsure of how to react to Fish after their last awkward interaction that led to her running back home, she turned her head away to escape meeting his gaze.
“Explain this!” Agni cried.
“Just what is going on? Why is Fish here? And why… why am I here, Goddess?...”
“I am glad that you still recognize me as your Goddess. I was afraid that you would have tossed your faith aside after… what happened to your beloved.”
“...”
“Agni, don’t bite down on your lip too hard. You’ll bleed.”
Fish quickly rushed to Agni’s side at the sight of her fiercely sinking her teeth into her bottom lip.
“D-Don’t tell me what to do, Fish!”
“Agni!”
“T-This… she let you die! Father always said that the Goddess Esphera watched us always! That she would come to us in our time of need and protect us from harm! And yet… You let Fish die…!”
“Agni, please stop! How could you say such a thing!”
A beam of light obscured Esphera’s expression from view. It was a suggestion from her mentor, Yvell, that a constellation must always appear dignified before mortals. So, hiding her emotions was the ideal.
Behind that light, she was holding back her own tears. Regret over her own failures as a goddess filled her heart. Or… were they really her own failures at all?
Esphera recalled a few words Yvell shared with her before she made Agni dream.
“Death is a natural part of living. By directly interfering in the affairs of mortals, you are taking away their agency to fail and learn from that failure. Instead, grant them the means to protect themselves. That way, you are protecting both their lives and their future.”
She didn’t really understand those words then, but now that she was faced with Agni’s accusation, things were different. They served as a small source of comfort that helped cushion Agni’s sharp blow.
(Thank you, Lord Yvell. I understand now.)
Resurrecting Fish was certainly not the solution to the problem. Just as her mentor had told her before: if she presented her followers with resurrection, they would only turn cruel and wicked, twisting the relationship between creator and created.
Then what was the solution to this debacle?
What would help Agni and Fish without hurting everyone else?
The answer was simple. And it was something she was already considering long before. Something she had discussed with Yvell as part of the plan that he hadn’t elaborated much upon.
Witnessing Agni happily cling to Fish in her dream.
Watching her try to stop him from partaking in hunts.
And seeing her lose herself at the thought of never seeing Fish again.
Perhaps granting her this false reunion was not the right move to make. Fish and Agni were sure to part again after this, which would only lead Agni back to grief. Esphera had thought that by giving her such a sweet dream, surely Agni's broken heart would heal with time. But that was not the case. If anything, her obsession with keeping Fish only grew as she grew more desperate.
That is why she decided to end the dream. Yvell had told her ahead of time that the dream alone wasn’t the solution, so this only made sense. Perhaps he had planned this revelation so that Esphera would find the answer herself.
Yes, the answer was simple.
Instead of providing a false reunion, give her a real one. Or at least, a place where a real one could take place.
“Agni, it was my fault! If I hadn’t gotten too close, I would’ve—”
“No, Fish, stay out of this! She needs to get a—”
“Fish is correct. It was his lapse in judgment that led to his demise.”
“...”
“...!”
Fish bowed his head, having long since accepted the mistake that led to his death.
Agni, on the other hand, was dumbfounded by the brazen comment made by the goddess before her. Despite both of their actions, however, she continued speaking.
“Agni, my child. I saw that Fish’s death had scarred you deeply. I had hoped that by providing you with a sweet dream, you would heal from your loss. Instead, I have allowed for an obsession to fester deep within you. This was my mistake.”
“...”
“Goddess?...”
“Reunion. You were overjoyed upon reuniting with Fish, did you not? While the dream was but a dream, the joy you felt was indeed real. That is where your fear and obsession lie. So, I hope to remove this fear and obsession. Not just for yourself, but for all my children.”
Esphera waved her hand in the air, calling forth hundreds of spirits to circle them.
The sight was nothing short of impressive. Hundreds of silver burning orbs organized themselves at Esphera’s silent call. And so, she began to spin a small lie. A lie that she hoped would become true.
“These are the souls of the dead. The long departed. Without the shell of mortal flesh, they were lost, ever wandering in a realm they could no longer reach. I pitied them, so I decided to house them within me such that they may not lose themselves.”
“Souls of the departed?... Am I…?”
“Indeed, Fish. You, too, are a mere soul without flesh. Though you take on the shape of the man you were in life, you are destined to return to my embrace, just as all my children do, and return to slumber.”
“...!”
“You…!”
“However… Would it not be too sad to part so suddenly, with no assurance of reunion? I certainly think so. So, Agni, there is something I would like for you to do.”
“Why would I listen to you?!”
“Agni, please!”
Esphera raised her hand, reassuring Fish that she felt no disrespect. If anything, Esphera thought Agni’s anger was justified. Had Esphera become a more competent goddess sooner, perhaps such tragedies would not have taken place. But maybe that was just greed on her part. Whatever the case, Esphera continued.
“There is a place I would like to make. A place where all souls may gather and rest after death, so that they may commune and be alleviated of the burdens they had in life. There, you may meet your beloved once more when your time comes. There, you may stay together for eternity.”
A sweet dream for everyone. One that lasts an eternity.
“I can… with Fish?”
“Goddess…”
“Indeed. However, as things are now, it will be difficult to create such a wondrous place. That is why I will require your help.”
Agni’s face reflected a tangle of emotions she couldn’t sort through. She despised the Ringed Star Mother, and yet the same being now offered her a way to remain with Fish forever. Could she trust this?
“... What do you want me to do?”
“There are a few gifts I would like to share with your people. And… a message, as well.”
