Chapter 25: To Mentor a Green Constellation
Today is the day that I leave for the other world once more. This time, I’m not getting randomly kidnapped to another world along with my entire condo. Instead, I’ll be heading there alongside Ramube and the Green Earth Mother.
In preparation for the trip, I bought some survival-related items like tools, medical supplies, and other useful things—a solar charger for my mobile devices, a solar generator for powering larger devices, and an electronic notebook. I was considering buying a laptop instead, but I didn’t exactly have much on me as a NEET living off inheritance money.
Those two months away from modern civilization were harsh. With no internet or power, I resorted to primitive ways to entertain myself—playing tag or hide-and-seek with the hunters under the guise of “survival training.” It was childish of me, sure, but who’s going to criticize me in another world? My only other alternatives were skipping stones and target practice with slings, which weren’t all that exciting.
I tried using a bow, but I was terrible. Surprisingly, I wasn’t too bad with a sling—I even managed to hit a bird once. Best to forget that the bird was an oversized, man-eating predator that almost devoured me. If Esphera hadn’t been there that day, I might have ended up as bird droppings on the forest floor.
As per what we decided beforehand, the two constellations came to meet me at my condo.
“Mentor, we have arrived!”
“Oog.”
“Welcome, you two. I have been waiting.”
The two phased right through my door like usual. Have I grown too used to this scene by now? I don’t feel surprised by it anymore. It’s like this has become my standard for normalcy. These gods are making me stranger by the day.
“Mentor, is your neighbor going to be alright?”
“What do you mean?”
“He was giving us a strange look as we entered through your door.”
Ah. Well. About that.
Ever since my condo unit magically returned to its rightful spot, the staff and neighbors have been looking at me like I’m a ghost. Thankfully, they hadn’t bothered questioning me about it yet. At least the staff should stop caring once I pay my bills in January.
“No need to pay him much attention. He is probably surprised to see people visiting my home.”
“You do not get visitors often?”
“Not at all. I emulate a hermit-like lifestyle, after all.”
Because I’m a NEET.
“I see!”
“Oog.”
Now that the two are here, I pick up my bags one by one. Aside from a backpack, which carried my electronic notebook and other small items, I also had two duffel bags that carried many of my necessities. As for the larger items like the solar generator, I didn’t need to carry them with me.
The plan was to take my condo unit with us, just like last time. The only reason I packed things into bags is so I can bring them with me whenever needed, organized according to specific uses, like sundries and food.
It seems that the sight of me carrying a multitude of things interested Green Earth Mother as her eyes sparkled with curiosity.
“Mentor, are these the fabled ‘survival packs’ I have heard so much about?”
“Um… fabled?”
“Oog.”
“Yes, sir Gorilla, I am referring to those things! Those things that humans of this world bring when going on camping trips! Sir Gorilla showed me some so-called ‘videos’ of camping trips last night! I have since been curious about the objects contained within these packs!”
“Ah…”
I forgot that these constellations are a bit more modernized than what I’d usually expect. Right… now that I think about it, Esphera was much the same, having learned bits and pieces about human culture.
“Well, I suppose these are something similar to those survival packs you have seen in those videos. Not quite the same, but these bags contain items that will be quite handy during our time over in your world.”
“I see! I see! May I take a look inside?”
“You may.”
Come to think of it, Green Earth Mother is a newborn constellation, younger than Esphera—a fact I sometimes forget, especially since she’s… quite well-endowed, unlike Esphera, who was a bit flatter in that area.
Seeing her examine a foldable multi-tool with deep curiosity reminded me of myself as a child playing with toys. Back then, I imagined scenarios with my toys where a hero defeats a villain and saves a princess who falls in love with him—the classic male fantasy of rescuing a big-booba princess from the demon king.
“What an interesting item! To think that so many tools could be packed into such a tiny form!”
“If you wish to acquire one of your own, perhaps you should purchase one at a store here on Earth?”
“Ah, about that… I once tried trading with humans here on Earth for a pot I wished to purchase at a florist shop. However, they seemed suspicious of me and called the so-called ‘police’ on me. Had it not been for Sir Gorilla’s intervention, there would have been trouble.”
“You… what?”
Wait, what happened?
“It is embarrassing, I must admit. At the time, I only understood the concept of barter and did not know that currency existed as a medium of exchange. So I tried offering them my leaves and…”
“Hold on, stop right there. Were the leaves similar to this shape?”
I pulled out my phone and showed her an image of an infamous, suspicious-looking plant.
“Why, yes, mentor! How did you know?”
Jeez. No wonder the cops got called on you.
“Please do not trade your leaves for things on Earth again.”
“But, mentor, some men approached me afterward, saying they were interested to–”
“No. Do not.”
“... Okay.”
Green Earth Mother’s head went downcast in disappointment.
Somehow, I can already tell that this constellation is going to be a handful to teach. I just hope that Ori can help split the burden whenever we come back to Earth to pick her up. Ugh…
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, says that he is impressed by your dedication to emulating human life. He also adds that many gods and goddesses' constellations could learn from you.
“My dedication to the practice is a necessary means to bridge the insurmountable gap between mortals and immortals. I am sure you would understand this yourself, do you not, sir Gorilla? I hear that you ascended from mortality. Surely, the difference in what life you lived then and the experiences you have now are more than any could understand in those who have only experienced either side of the spectrum.”
Of course, that’s all bullshit I thought up while preparing my heart for questions directed at my constellation persona.
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, agrees, saying that there is an enormous difference between existing as a mere mortal animal, destined to die unaware of the greater universe beyond, and acting as a personified aspect of reality given will and form. He adds that it is an experience no immortal could understand, to be rid of your base instincts like shedding the shell of mortality, yet still be bound by their ghosts, unable to find relief in defecation.
… I have no idea what he meant by that last part, but I think he got the message.
After Green Earth Mother helped return all of my things to their respective bags, we were ready to go on our way.
“This will be like going on a camping trip, will it not?”
“I… suppose you could put it that way?”
“I am excited! I wish to experience—drinking from a hot metal soup bowl on a cold night in front of a campfire—and sleeping the night away in a tent, wrapped in a sleeping bag!”
Uh. A nature goddess enjoying camping? Not something I expected. Does she even get the appeal? Something tells me she’s more into the novelty of drinking soup and sleeping than camping itself.
“Well, let us get going then. Sir Gorilla.”
“Oog.” (Thumbs-up)
Zuuuuooooh.
Upon arriving in the other world, we left my condo unit at a clearing and proceeded deep into the forest.
Green Earth Mother, who was quite excited about the idea of going camping, decided to emulate mortal life alongside me and offered to help carry my bags so she could get a feel for the authentic camping trip experience. However…
“Ha… Ha… Ha…”
“Disciple, is this not a tad too excessive? I am certain you will collapse at this rate.”
“No… I will… be fine, mentor… Ha…”
“Oog.”
Ramube scratched his head, perplexed by the sight of Green Earth Mother desperately pulling a duffel bag behind her, dragging it across the ground. You know, if you do that, the bag will get dirty. Heck, I’m worried the rocks might poke a hole in the bottom.
“You certainly do not look fine, disciple. This is your first time emulating mortal life, is it not? You clearly do not understand your boundaries yet.”
“Boundaries…?”
“Physical exhaustion. Surely you have seen beasts collapse from exhaustion in your forest before.”
“Yes… sometimes…”
“You are closely approaching such a vulnerable state. I suggest that we take a break here for the meantime. What do you think, sir Gorilla?”
“Oog.” (Nod)
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, says that the journey to the center of the forest, where Green Earth Mother’s body lies, will be a long and arduous one for a mortal body. He advises that it is best not to push your body too far, as it might risk harming your health.
“Listen to Sir Gorilla, disciple. He had been mortal once before, so he knows the risks of intense exhaustion. It will not be good for you.”
“I… I understand… Ha…”
Just like that, she collapsed on the spot, throwing her sweaty body on the duffel bag like a used towel. Thankfully, that duffel bag mostly contains my clothes and other items that aren’t so fragile as to collapse under the weight of a woman.
“Ha…? I feel like somebody is… thinking of something rude about me… Ha…”
“You must be imagining it.”
I swear I wasn’t calling her fat or anything. Though… okay, she might have two good reasons for packing more weight than Esphera.
“Why is it… suddenly getting warm…?”
“Weird. The ringed sun just went really bright for a second.”
Maybe I’m just seeing things this time? Whatever the case, it was time for a well-earned break.
I handed Green Earth Mother a bottle of water, which she greedily chugged down.
Urp~
“T-Thank you, mentor.”
“You are welcome.”
She just burped. First time I’ve seen a woman do that in person. Guess she isn’t bothered by showing that side of herself.
I then gave both of them a KalorieBabe as a snack. The block kind, not the jelly ones. It was important to keep our energy up, not that Ramube needed it. But hey, it kept up the atmosphere of going on a trip, so why not?
“These taste amazing! Humans from Earth make such curious things. I would like to try more food from Earth in the future!”
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, asks if you would like to indulge in play.
“Oh? Are we doing that now? I made sure to bring my old, reliable Dontenin Flick. Did you buy that game I suggested?”
“Oog!” (Thumbs-up)
“Great. Let’s get started then. Pull out your Dontenin Flick 2.”
“Huh? Mentor? Sir Gorilla? What are you two…?”
Ramube and I immediately adopted our gaming postures as we booted up our portable game consoles. Then, we opened up a game we were both itching to play.
Slayer of Monsters Descent
A game where you slay monsters with friends. A legendary old video game series that continues to see new releases to this day. Ramube once mentioned being an avid player of one of the more recent titles before Descent in our DMs, so I suggested he bring along his Dontenin Flick 2 so we could play a few quests together while we were here in this other world.
Seeing as Ramube had already finished the tutorial beforehand, he must have been waiting for this moment.
“Let’s go slaying!”
“Oog!”
“Um… I am afraid I do not understand what is going on.”
Oh right. What should I do about Green Earth Mother while we play?... No, that’s a silly question. I’m her mentor. What else is there than to teach?
“Disciple, what do you think of monsters?”
“You mean those beasts mutated by mana?”
“Are your followers not products of mana mutation as well?”
“Ah, yes, they are, but I do not like to refer to them as monsters… I do not think they compare to those beasts.”
Fair enough.
“Tell me, what do you see through this screen?”
“Um… A monster is attacking people…”
I showed Green Earth Mother a cutscene of villagers under attack. No actual gore appeared—the game was designed to appeal to a wide demographic—but the scene was chaotic enough to leave an impression.
It was clear the monster was more than a mere nuisance—it posed a real threat to the villagers, hunting them for meat. In turn, civilization was just as dangerous to it as monster slayers tried to kill it for its hide.
Although the game often emphasized the importance of living in harmony with nature and preserving as much of it as possible, true coexistence with the wild is impossible. Ultimately, mankind is a creature driven by progress and the pursuit of stability, absorbing whatever it can to achieve that insatiable goal.
To put it bluntly, humanity is parasitic to nature, surviving off its bounty and incapable of living any other way. The same likely holds true for many other sentient species capable of building a civilization.
“Nature and civilization are often treated like oil and water—viewed as fundamentally incapable of mixing due to civilization’s reliance on nature’s resources to function. And this is the core of your dilemma.”
I pointed my finger at Green Earth Mother.
“You are a constellation worshipped by trees. As things stand now, if you wish to grow as a goddess, you will need to strengthen your influence. But that would prove difficult without establishing a civilization of your own to worship you. Yet this runs contrary to your nature as a goddess of nature itself.”
Confusion grew in Green Earth Mother’s eyes as she chewed over my words.
“Then… what do I do, mentor?”
Normally, I’d just tell you to give up and start a new game as a different kind of goddess. But we can’t exactly do that here. Altering her nature with dumb trees worshipping her is nearly impossible—and quite risky. One wrong step, and she could be easily misunderstood as something else entirely.
Instead, there’s a better solution to that problem.
“Mutualism.”
“Excuse me?”
“Create a scenario where both sides benefit.”
That’s what elves are for, baby.
