Chapter 4

The days go by very fast, my son is growing the same way and I'm scared, I want him to be my baby forever. He's almost two months old! Every day I fall more in love with my brown. My sun is going crazy with our child and my friends not to mention, my child is the most important thing in the world.

Today is an appointment with the pediatrician, my sun is not there so I have to go alone, my baby is restless and has a quite impossible temperament, being a mother is exhausting, but it is the most wonderful thing in the world. "Good morning," I greet the pediatrician with a smile.

"Good morning," she answers, smiling at me in the same way, "hello handsome," she takes him in her arms to lay him on the bed, "you're big and beautiful ... But just look at those big black eyes that you send me, I get lost in them every time I look at them." My son smiles like a rascal, he peels the teeth of all the women who look at him and talk, he is very active for his age.

"He's getting fat very fast. And his temper doesn't help," I smile, in love with my baby.

"You have to be patient with him, he's small and he says everything with tears or tantrums and there are things that can overcome him and react that way," when she undress the baby, his penis rises. "Either you are going to spray me or you are showing me your package?" The smile that my brown shows in response makes me think that it is the second, but to avoid the first, I put a diaper on him and keep it for a while, so he doesn't make a mess.

"I think it was the second," I joke with the doctor when I see that my son is not going to pee.

"Well, he has something good to show, isn't it precious?" My son looks at her with full attention, he's a born flirt. Dr. Petrozzino has cared for my son since he was born, she has become fond of him to the point that the two of them get along wonderfully. The pediatrician, as always, checks him completely and my child is happy until they finish, "everything is perfect as always. Is Pa on a trip?" She asks when she gives me my son.

"Yes, he had to travel this time," hearing my child moan makes me rock him because I don't want him to cry. "I don't know why I mentioned pa," my sun when he hears his pa, he gets like a fool, he does not fit under the skin of emotion.

"Don't worry precious, I will see you in a month. You are about to turn two months," her expression changed incredulously at the time that has flown by.

"We'll see you in a month." Fixing my son and taking his bag, I give one last look at the doctor who accompanies us to the door.

When I get home, Brenda the housekeeper is preparing lunch, not wanting to do anything and just resting for the exhibition, I go to my room, my baby has fallen asleep so I have nothing else to do. When I get up to go to the bathroom, my mobile rings, when I see the screen, I find it was my friend calling. We have not talked in months.

I do not even want to think about what it was that made me decided not to tell her about my sun, my pregnancy and the recent birth of my son, the pain has taken too far and I know, but there was nothing I could do.

"Manaaaa," I hear her as always, screaming with her voice full of happiness, leaving the room to avoid hearing the baby if he cries, I look at my son from the door.

"Maniiii," I yelled back, "you're sorry, but did you remember that I exist?" I hear my friend laugh incredulously.

"But are you crazy? The thing here is, if I don't call, you don't deign to do it."

I sigh, "you know I'm very busy, I don't have time for anything," I bite my nail. "Everything okay at home? Are they all okay?" I ask with some caution, although I forgave my mother and Kahin, it gives me some fear to always know how they are, my mother may well be having the best time and perhaps Kahin has already forgotten me.

"Okay I understand you, but you can take a fucking minute and at least tell me, die bitch!" I laugh when I hear that, "we are all fine, my aunt Camilla gets used to being without you every day, although now you can say that I have two mothers," she laughs "I have always had her, but now it turns out that I have an overprotective mom. Very well I would say," her voice denotes mischief, "my zazo as always, jealous and fighting for everything and nothing, I swear to you that if he did not love me the way I love him, I will leave him because of his jealousy."

I smile when I hear that, the fool if that happens, "Malcolm is tall, dark, well and he belongs to mom."

When I hear that, I gasped open-mouthed, "fuck me!" I can't believe it, "aunt Lourdes with Malcolm?" I ask in surprise.

"Honestly Flaca, I had no idea they are together, when I found out, I fell hard on my ass, I literally did," she laughs, I'm still in astonishment, I can't think of anything, "but as Kahin was telling you he..."

"No," I cut her off, feeling a pain in my chest., "I don't want to know about him." I hear my friend sigh behind the line.

"Skinny, you must forgive him too, it is known that your mother is your mother, but Aunt Camilla was the biggest culprit of all."

Letting out a tear, I bite my lip, "I forgave him Carla, you know it," I stifle a sob, "but now I don't know how I feel, talking about him and ..."

"Is there someone else?" She asks in almost a shout, "have you dared to replace him that fast?" Her words hurt me, but in a way I saw refuge in my sun, "answer!" She demands.

"Yes," I shout, closing the door so as not to wake my son, "if there is another person who supports me, takes care of me, does not deceive me and does everything possible to see me happy..."

"Kahin did all that too," she yells back at me, "he loves you, he also suffered for you," she paused for a while, "you know what? I am glad that you are well, I love that now you smile and have found support, I am very happy for you and very much, but the day you decide to return, I hope it does not hurt to see what you have lost," with a heavy heart, I hear how my friend hangs up the call, slumping on the floor, I start to cry, why does everything have to fall on me? Why does everyone think that I did it wrong and do not stop to ask why my reaction?

"Not again," I hear Fatima growl, my friend sits next to me and hugs me, "you have remembered him again, right?" That question is not supposed to be asked because I have never forgotten.

"Why is nothing easy? Why couldn't I just do what you asked me to do?" I look at my friend for an answer.

"I don't know darling, I don't know," softening her face, I rest my head on her shoulder.

"I swear to you that if you hadn't come into my life, I'd already be lost," I sob. My friend lets me cry until my baby woke up, I put my sadness aside and I pick up my courage, my son needs me.

"He is going to suck you dry," my friend mutters, horrified by the force and speed my son eats.

"He likes mom's milk," I smile, "he's very desperate, if his mouth gets too full and he doesn't swallow everything, he gets angry." I caress his cheek, "he's so moody, so he ..." I sighed smiling.

"You're gawking at that baby, but who isn't? Our baby has come to give joy to our lives," she squeezes his cheeks and my son who has no stamina begins to bellow and with it, he starts to cry, "but what a temper, I won't touch you anymore."

Laughing, I try to get my brown to grab the chest again, "you know he doesn't like to be disturbed when he's eating. Did you forget how he got on with Roderick?"

My friend laughs, "shit, I thought that day this little guy would get the hell out of it, he was really brave."

Laughing amusedly, I look at my son who has those black eyes fixed on me, his look is unique and only one compares to him, "my sun won't be able to be on display this time so I won't be able to carry the baby." I look at my friend. "I'll have to leave him at home with Brenda."

She frowns, "you should stay at home, it is true that this is an important note for us, but the teacher has told you to just make a painting and take it to him."

I give a negative with my head, "I want to go, it will only be a few hours and I already got milk for the baby, I must go, I have missed classes for almost two months since I gave birth, so don't say anything more," my friend signed in defeat before she nods.

The hours with my friend and my baby that she now keeps awake a little longer are of the best quality, I love spending time with my son, I love having him close and always looking into his eyes.