Chapter 123 Speechless

Xenon's POV

I was speechless, so many emotions is creeping me, I can't think right.

Am I dreaming!? I couldn't even believe this was real.

First, Ryan... my long friend betrayed me, he died and the person who killed him is the girl I love the most. My angel... but known as the famous terrible monster!

Am I dead!? Did I die!? I want this to be a nightmare, I want to wake up and be with my Claire... my angel.

Who am I kidding!? This is the reality.

'The Silencer is a monster, it doesn't have a heart and it listens to no one.'

'It is the only person who got out in the Morounes Cave alive... it's absolutely a monster!'

'You are being guarded by a monster.'

The girl I've been protecting all this time... is the person who keeps on saving my life.

The day when she got stabbed... if she was the Silencer... it shouldn't have happened. If she's the Silencer... lying in my room for days, was it...

"Was it all a lie?" I asked out of my breath... but if a monster doesn't have a heart, why did she chooses me? Of all people... even the accident 7 years ago, why did she saved me then? "Why me Claire? What do you want on me?"

Her eyes... it's too cold. This is not the girl I used to love... she is too dark. 'The monster fears no one, it's numb' I remember Daddy Derifs words. I felt my feet losing their own strength. Claire ignored me as she looked at Blue and Blake, gesturing them to stand up.

'Okay, just don't forget to say my name. Tell them I asked for it.'

Now I know the reason why the Blue Fire Gang accepted to join our battle, it was because... their Heiress ordered it.

A sudden rise of anger crept on me... I felt being played by the girl I love.

She stepped closer towards me. "I'm sorry." She said but her face was blank. I did not sense her sincerity.

"Why did you hide it from me?" I said realizing my voice was laced with anger.

Claire stopped in front of me "I... I can't let you know." She looked away.

"Don't you trust me, Claire?" I asked in almost a whisper. Was everything real? Her sweetness... the way she shows her affection towards me, did I just assumed? Or... it was all fake.

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Venice Claire's POV

"Don't you trust me, Claire?" He asked in almost a whisper.

"I do but... not generally." I looked somewhere but not him.

I trusted Xenon, I really do... but I'm afraid that his love is not enough to love the reality of my identity.

I was born in Dark World and I have been created as a monster.

I sensed him closed his eyes and take a deep breath calming himself and when he opened it. "Do you love me, Claire? Did you ever love me?" His eyes glistened with hope.

Love... do I love him? Hell yeah! Is this the right time to tell him?

'I just wanted to remind you my dearest cousin that you're the Heiress, you should set aside your feelings or... you might lose him. Careful, Mr. Giovanni is keeping an eye.'

Lose him. Zoey is right if I tell him about my true feelings for him...

'... you can't avoid your destiny, it's in our blood!'

Dad will do everything... to destroy it. Worse... he might kill him.

'Are you really letting her out of hold? You don't know what will happen! She is a monster! She can't adapt to another world!' I remembered clearly every word that comes from Uncle Dos.

I am a monster... but I have fallen to this man. However, dad is controlling me and I have no power against them... even if I have... I can't guard Xenon for every second, every minute.

He will be in great danger because of me... and I couldn't take that.

I can't just follow my heart and let the man I love... suffer. It would be better if I am the only one to suffer.

"Look at me, Claire." He asked in sadness.

I slowly looked at him and see his red watery eyes full of sadness and pain... Oh, Xenon, why did you love me this much?

I do not deserve it.

"Do you... love me?" He asked once again.

"I... I'm sorry." I suddenly looked down.

He chuckles weakly "That's not what I wanted to hear. I'll ask you again, do you love me?" He tried to calm his voice.

I took a deep breath composing myself, I need to be strong and not let my emotions eat me.

I looked straight into his eyes. "I did not love you and I never will." LIE.

I could see a tear falls from his eyes. It hurts, lying to the person I dearly love... hurts so much.

He laughs but not the genuine one "Hah, right. How would a cold-hearted monster like you, could ever love me? I was fooling myself." He shook his head "All this time... you..." he closed his eyes trying to calm himself.

Monster. His words felt like a bucket of water thrown into me, waking me up from reality. He's right, everyone is right... I am a monster, I killed people countless times and I could never be a real human. I do not deserve happiness.

I sensed Lucas walking towards him but I ignored everyone and just focus on Xenon.

"You killed my friend and now, you just killed my heart. I don't wanna see you, leave." His voice... it was too cold.

I feel awful, what am I doing!?

"Xen-" I aimed to get closer but,

"I said leave!" He yelled which I never expected he would ever do to me, yet this day had come.

"Xenon, please think care-" Lucas said behind him but Xenon raised his hand shutting him.

"Go Claire... now, I set you free." He said and turned his back at me.

Words that is killing me and hurting me millions of times.

Love... it could really kill. I sighed.

"Any moment Marco will come. Do whatever you wanted to do to him." I said and turn my back. Gazing at Uno "Stay." I ordered and walked away... away from him.

When I got out of the gym I didn't realize a tear falls from my eyes for the first time in so many years.

The moment I left the school... the Silencer dominated my essence.