18

Smell, power everything could be hidden, but what good did it do us in the end? Our destiny wrote Luna. She manipulated us whether we wanted it or not.

Caspian's hug was one of her manipulations. As good as it felt, as much as it drew me to him, I wanted to own how I felt. I didn't want to embark on a preordained dream of false feelings.

When he broke away from me, I immediately realized that I was missing something. Security. Security. Just. How could a simple hug trigger that?

His eyes looked up at me bewildered. It was as if a mist lay over his eyes, as over my thoughts. The otherwise crystal clear blue of his eyes gave way to a faint grey. As if the mud was whirled up in the water.

"I'll always take care of you, even if I can't be near you. That's a promise, little erasthai." Caspian gave me a small kiss on the forehead, the tingle in my cheeks not stopping even after he was long gone.

I leafed through books at random, but the letters just became blurry, no matter how hard I concentrated, nothing made sense, nor did the situation I was in.

I was starting to like the Alaisters even though they symbolized everything my pack hated. Yet they clung to me and I to them. I couldn't deny anymore that I enjoyed Trevor and Taylor's humor as well as Grayson's stoic way of looking after me.

Above all, it was Grayson that came to my mind first thing in the morning. He didn't trigger the feelings in me like Caspian did. No surprises awaited me when I saw him. There was something appealing about his aloof, cool demeanor adorned with his somber, serious gaze.

His brown, clear eyes, which discovered everything immediately and lay watchfully over me, even caught up with my dreams in the past few days. It was a different attraction than Caspian had for me. It was genuine, at least as far as my feelings were concerned.

My watch told me that I had missed Jade's training as well as the run with Grayson and yet here I was alone. I was so used to them checking on me on time, taking me to the next class, or picking me up for practice with Jade, that today was the first time I hadn't noticed that the day had passed in a blink of an eye.

My stomach spoke out loud what my eyes saw on the clock. I had missed everything since the stupid course. Not only my lunch, but also my dinner. There were still a few months before that stupid fox hunt and yet it ate up my mind and controlled everything I did.

Training with Jade, the books I read, the restless nights.

My stomach was pounding as I made my way to the cafeteria. Luckily there was always something to eat at any time of the day. That was an advantage of this university. Wolves were always hungry, the cafeteria never closed.

My thoughts revolved around a wild boar that usually existed every day when I entered the cafeteria. There were more students present than I had anticipated. But it was also the first time that I was there at this time.

As a rule, I was already exhausted under my covers, but the lack of training with Jade made itself felt. I wasn't as tired as other days and well, the lack of lunch.

I grabbed a tray and headed purposefully for the boar I smelled. I was relieved that my appetite could be satisfied. I grabbed two more bottles of water and a salad and looked around for a quiet spot.

My gaze swept across the crowded tables and lingered on a person standing upright behind a table. His brown eyes shone like two small ambers in the dim light of the canteen.

He made no move to wave me over or say anything, he just stood there and looked at me. His chest didn't stretch out as proudly as usual. His shoulders weren't square as usual.

The amber in his eyes was completely new to me. The clear brown had given way to a sun-tarnished amber. I remembered the light in his eyes from this morning. It flashed as quickly as it vanished.

"Grayson," I greeted him when I got to the table. I put my tray down and the color in his eyes turned to a muddy brown.

He had called me Pebble today, I wanted so badly to know why. Why did he have a nickname for me?

Trevor's and Taylor's curious looks made me quickly forget the question that was on the tip of my tongue.

"What are you doing here, Stone?" Trevor asked me as Grayson and I sat down silently next to each other. He had pulled out a chair for me and I accepted the silent invitation without asking. There was so much between us that we did it quietly.

"I'm hungry," I answered the obvious. The food smelled in my nostrils, my stomach growled. It was something that everyone could perceive. I saw Trevor nod, but I noticed something I'd never noticed before.

I should have known they were here. I should have known the moment I entered the canteen. I should have known before I saw Grayson standing.

My gaze swept over the three. Trevor and Taylor drifted off into a conversation about the upcoming Winter Ball, only Grayson left his food and leaned back in his chair. He seemed to be stuck somewhere else in his thoughts.

I pecked at my food, not knowing if I had to blame my missing wolf or if they were hiding their scent. The latter seemed absurd to me. I had to be. As the training with Jade became more difficult for me every day, not only my strength left me more and more every day, but also my sense of smell.

I glanced at Grayson, who was glancing around the canteen. A she-wolf smiled teasingly at him and his gaze lingered on her.

"See you tomorrow," I mumbled.

"You haven't eaten much," Trevor grabbed my tray before I could pick it up.

"Wasn't the right thing," I answered curtly.

"You always eat wild boar when it's available. Are you okay, Tara?" he asked back.

"Sure. What shouldn't be right?"

"You just saw Caspian."

"Well, he was with me. I wasn't with him." Trevor raised an eyebrow and now I realized what that must sound like.

"He said goodbye to me while I was in the library," I murmured, jerking at my tray, which Trevor still didn't want to let go of.

"What's the matter Tara?" I looked at him and wanted to jump at his throat. Always friendly, always unobtrusive. Everything planned, everything a carte blanche and I hadn't noticed it. They were Alaisters, I reminded myself.

"You hide your smell. It's a little different every day," I replied dryly, jerking at my tray. Trevor was so shocked that he immediately let go.

"Really interesting course. Who would have thought I'd uncover your little secret." I saw the shock on Trevor and Taylor's faces. I didn't even want to turn to Grayson. It was more out of disappointment that I didn't than a lack of curiosity.

"What secret?" Trevor asked almost breathlessly. I smiled and leaned over my tray. I honestly didn't have an answer to his question. Still, I wasn't ready to put my cards on the table.

I looked at Trevor and Taylor's tense faces. Their faces were worried, but they looked almost relaxed, in contrast to the emotions raging inside me. It was just a guess, but they just confirmed it to me.

"You're Alaisters and I'm a Stone. I don't know what I'll find yet, but I don't think we'll talk after that." I rose over the table and it was clear on both their faces that they had been totally shocked by my words.

"If you want to know something, ask me, Stone." Grayson rose behind me and stood a distance behind me that only made me feel his frosty voice more intensely.

I was surprised by his brown eyes, which had just been muddy, golden and not as clear as they were now. I saw myself again, trying to figure out what to say to him.

"I think I know everything," I uttered, hoping it sounded superior and knowing as I turned away from him, hoping he wouldn't realize I was lying.

"It had to happen eventually," Trevor murmured, confirming that they were hiding something from me. It wasn't just about the smell here.

"Well, I need some time to think about it. I would ask you to give me some space. I don't know what to make of it yet." It was all true, except that I wouldn't be able to find an answer to it myself in the next few weeks.

"Take the time you need." Grayson sank back into his chair and stopped looking at me.

He didn't have to, the girl from earlier appeared, sat down expectantly on our table and nudged him on the shoulder.

"And Gray, what's your answer?"