1

Every footprint I left in the landscape that surrounded me was a memory that I wanted to bury under its blanket of white snow. It was only a handful of memories and yet I needed to get rid of them.

No place I've been to in years has been more appropriate than this one. He would freeze her. Now and for all the years that lay ahead. Freezing so I could never feel them again. That I could forget what the innocent white before me would bury under its cold blanket.

I refused to have anyone accompany me. I had declined that anyone would follow in the next few days, only I could do that here myself. I didn't need help with the hardest decision I've ever made for myself.

It wasn't anything I didn't have time to think about. I made the decision weeks, months ago.

All thoughts that were circling in my head and I have to get rid of were those of my Erasthai, my soul mate. One that didn't want me, that I had to leave behind like I did her.

I had the power to grant her every wish. To make her happy in every way and yet she had rejected me and I had put up with it, accepted it, I had no choice.

My brother Casimir's accession to power was only postponed. It was thanks to my best friend Callum that I didn't lose my kingdom and I couldn't risk it any further. Not after others had sacrificed so much for it.

The snow crunched under my feet, the only sound I heard in my head next to my lycan. Unlike me, he wanted us to fight for our Erasthai, but I was running out of time. It was a wish, a dream that I had buried deep within myself under my responsibility.

Time was valuable, and while I had more than enough of it ahead of me, I didn't have it now. I had a long life ahead of me, many hundreds of years my decision would torment me, but more weighed on my shoulders than my own desires, more than my desire for my own happiness and that was my responsibility for my kingdom.

I was born to fight for every life in my kingdom, to fight for their dreams. Watching the miracle of how we grew and grew stronger among people and walk into the future together with them.

I was the king of the werewolves. The mightiest of the lycans, but that didn't help me either. I had a hard time looking ahead and every step I would take without having to take them. Stob my feet in the snow and tried to see my future with no regrets.

I had to pick up my new queen. I wanted an ice queen and nobody with me. I didn't want anyone to notice how difficult it was for me to do what I was doing now.

It was like a twist of fate that she was here, surrounded by an icy landscape that mirrored her heart. Going for her was a rational decision. Her family was one of the most influential of the Lycans and making her my queen wasn't a mistake, I kept telling myself, not least because it was a quick move.

I kicked at the snow as if it would eventually form a contradiction to my thoughts. It was crystal clear and icy, it changed shape, but the cold stayed.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I was surprised that I had any signal at all. I was so far from Juneau.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at Callum's name and then at the building looming on the horizon. It seemed to magically attract me. It seemed to be calling me like Callum's call.

I stared at the university I was going to for a moment before answering Callum's call.

"You won't stop me," I growled into my phone before he could say anything. Callum always had the better answers for everything I had to decide. He was there when I said my first word, when I took my first step, he was there for me. He accompanied all my difficult decisions. He was my mentor, my best friend, he was my family, but I had to take this step without him.

He was against it, I could see that in his eyes and yet he hadn't held me back. He knew as well as I did that it was necessary. I had told him. I had told him what I had not, or would not, confide in anyone else.

"I don't intend to, Caspian. Call me back when you get to uni. You know your feet could carry you faster, too?" he laughed into the phone, but I didn't even feel like answering him.

I turned my phone off again and looked back at the university, rising majestically above the snow-capped mountains. The place where we sent our future leaders to train. Alpha's, Beta's and those who showed the strength and will to take care of a pack without thinking of themselves first.

It's been so many years since I was last here and it was way overdue that I came here and not just to pick her up.

This place was valuable in every way. The strongest among my wolves were trained here. They trained here for their future when they had the opportunity. Too many have been thrown into their responsibilities too soon without having had time to prepare.

The presence of strength I felt behind the walls in front of me, the future of my kingdom, made me smile contentedly. It was time to face my future. She was behind those walls and it was long overdue to face her.

Those who should know that they could always turn to me when they needed me, just like my own, which I'd rather not show to anyone.

The cold wind blew the snow in my face as my phone rang again. Once. Twice.

"Callum, what do you want?" I called into the phone annoyed.

"That you go to uni faster and call me back when you get there." I threw my phone in the snow without answering him. It sank into the snowflakes like my last thoughts on my Erasthai.

This time I would have to manage without his advice.