43

Grayson's wolf came towards me and slowly paced around me. His fur kept brushing against me and I ran my hand through it.

I had so many questions for him. I wanted to know what had happened to him, what's going on now. But most of all, I wanted to hear that he was doing well.

He silently circled around me and pushed me toward the tent until I climbed inside. I laid out the mats, sorted the things and was satisfied that Nieva had thrown the right Grayson into the tent.

I waited for him to come after me, listening to his bones crackle, but nothing happened. I stuck my head out of the tent after a while.

He stood maybe fifty yards away and looked up at the storm that was gathering at dusk. We were protected from him here. It would be uncomfortable, but here we were at the end of a small valley, the storm would pass over us.

"Grayson," I called him softly. His head dropped and he looked over his shoulder at me. He twirled his fur and it was completely fluffy now. The smartest thing was probably that he stayed in his wolf.

It would give him more security and warmth. Even though he could transform quickly, it was still a few seconds less. It just didn't fit into the tent in this form. I was just wondering why nobody had thought of putting a tent here big enough to house a wolf.

"Something wrong?" Grayson slowly walked up to me, briefly stretching his forelegs and then his hind legs. He nudged me back into the tent with his muzzle and then I finally heard his bones crack.

A few seconds later he came into the tent and quickly put on what I had given him. He still hadn't spoken a single word. He drew his knees close to his chest and stared into space.

I sat behind him and left him alone. I looked at his broad back and how he dropped his head between his legs. His breathing was difficult at first and became slower as the storm grew louder.

I hated how my world was falling apart. The trembling of the tent was symbolic of how everything was shaking. My pride in rejecting an Alaiser as my mate has done me no good.

Luna can't be stopped and certainly not by me dwarf. She got back at me, she took my wolf from me, endangering those I've come to love unnecessarily. All because of a single mistake.

If only I hadn't returned to this icy place. I could have just asked Colin this summer, he would have done it for me. He was always the meek one of my two brothers who couldn't refuse me anything.

I was too proud, too angry with myself and also thought I could leave everything behind, that I could hide here from everything.

Now everything had caught up with me and drawn many into my mess. How could I be so selfish and not ashamed of what was happening around me.

"I'm sorry, Grayson," I put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched. Whatever happened to him, it was cruel enough that he turned his back on me. "Please talk with me."

I kept my hand on his shoulder as he didn't remove it. His closeness felt so good, I had missed her so much. I leaned my forehead against his back and automatically followed his breathing in unison.

"Why didn't you run away?" he whispered after what felt like an eternity. The storm was directly overhead now, raging so loudly his words could hardly be made out. How should I answer that? He wouldn't want to hear it.

His head was still low between his knees. All I saw was the wild blond curls I loved so much about him. I crawled around him and knelt in front of him.

"Please look at me, Grayson," but his head froze at my request. I brushed his curls away from his face with both hands and lifted his heavy head. His eyes were a brown darker than I had ever seen him.

"I didn't know how else to protect you," I said honestly. His eyes got a tad darker. I knew that it wasn't his wolf, he had glittering golden eyes, it was his feelings that spoke out of him tonelessly.

"What exactly is your death supposed to protect me from, mate?" he asked gruffly, shaking his head out of my hands, but I quickly grabbed it again.

"You had a chance," I replied in the same tone and looked into his dark eyes. A low growl escaped his lips, but he caught himself immediately. He pinched her so hard that what was left of you went white.

"Fine, you're mad. Now, aren't you going to talk to me every time you're mad?" I asked, a little louder than I intended. I couldn't stop myself from starting to seethe inside. "Everyone does what they can," I added defiantly.

"Is that so? Then you still have a lot to learn," he growled between pursed lips. I couldn't help but grin.

"Are you mad because I tried to save you?" He was, he didn't need to tell me. He was by my side the whole time. He didn't want us to come back here, in the end it wasn't up to us to decide.

"No," he replied in monosyllables.

"What then?" I asked.

"It's the price you were willing to pay for it that pisses me off." Now finally we were a step further, he spoke to me again.

"I let you down once, I would never do that again." Grayson looked at me as if I hadn't said anything. However, I wasn't ready to give up that easily. He had a right to be angry and maybe he would never want to understand it.

He should talk to me about his feelings and not close them. I had a right to know how he was doing and now ten times more because he was in a bad way.

He closed his eyes again and hung his head. It became so heavy that I jerked my hands away and he gave me a startled look as he bounced back a little.

I took advantage of his momentary confusion and gave him a good shove in his shoulders, sending him onto his back. If he wanted to exclude me from his feelings, then he had imagined it too easy.

I crawled onto him and pinned his shoulders to the ground. He grabbed my hips in turn and I snarled at him as he picked me up briefly to push me away.

He lowered me back down, but his hands stayed on my hips. I glared at him for not daring to do that again and a little wonder mingled in his sad brown eyes.

"Are you sure? You're renouncing a palace, clerk. We'll only have a small house." That too? He still saw Caspian as a competitor? I just nodded and saw it working inside him.

"I'll leave the house in the morning, like everyone who works hard, come home late at night." I nodded in agreement.

"I'll wash and cook and often don't look like I've taken good care of myself. Will you still want me then?" I answered with a question in return.

"You'll be tired from the long day and you'll have to put our children to bed yourself when it gets late at my place," he countered, but his eyes started to shine again. I couldn't help but smile at the word children.

"They will often wake us up at night and never let us go to bed when we want to." I still braced my arms against his shoulders. My face certainly reflected the radiance that returned to his eyes.

"I'll have to cover your mouth during sex so they don't wake up," his voice whispered deep and hoarse through the tent. Its walls flap in the storm, but in Grayson's eyes something else was building that would surely sweep me away.

"Then let's waste the time and enjoy it," I challenged. We were in the middle of nowhere, miles from anywhere.

"Undress yourself!"