WHERE IS SHE?

I parked the car in the lobby and before getting off I shed my tears because of the extreme pain I feel now. The pain of my will and pity for her for what I did last night.

I hope she will forgive me despite what I have done.

I hope she doesn't disappear from me forever.

I released all my tears remembering how happy we are back then.

I smile bitterly when I remember the past when she accepted my love. That was the happiest moment of my life. The moment that I can treasure forever. The way she looks at me back then while saying she loves me is full love and sincerity. Unlike now, she always looks at me like nothing.

It hurts me, but it doesn't care as long as I see her. I am still hoping that we can still reconcile and we can fix our marriage.

When I felt ok I walked quickly to the office. I want to make sure she's ok and she doesn't leave me again. Maybe because of what I did to her last night, she just disappeared again. She might run away because she is afraid of me. It's my fault when that happens. But this is the only way I know to keep her. To scare her with what I can do so that she won't leave me.

She works with me but I can't deny the fact that she can leave anytime she wants. She could pay me if she asked for help from her relatives and just disappeared in an instant. She still has connections, her brother, and Hailey. She still has friends who can help her. So I am afraid she won't show up for what I did last night.

I don't know what to do when that happens.

When I enter the office no one is there. I understand Carmona because it's still early. But Ashley should be here. At this time she is always here.

I walked back and forth while waiting for the time. She always advances when she comes. 10 minutes before 8:00 am is the longest for her. But now it's only 3 minutes but she's not here yet.

"Good Morning Sir," Carmona greeted me so I smile at her.

"Do you need something?"

"Yeah, I thought Ashley is here already, I just want to give her these documents."

"Give it to me," I said and she come closer to me and handed me the paper.

"She still not here, ow, this is new, she always came earlier than me," she said but I ignore her. "Anyway, maybe something came up that is why is she's late."

"Whatever I don't care,"

Fuck! I don't think she will come now.

Carmona got out of the office so I left alone. I am still thinking about Ashley and the possibilities why she's late.

What if she will not come?

But I still calmed myself. There are still three minutes so I don't have to worry.

I take a walk in the office while looking at the time. Every tick and tack of the clock I feel like a year I’ve been standing. My body was so tired not because I what I am doing but because I was thinking about Ashley.

It's already 8 am but she's still not here. I stared at the clock then looked at the door waiting for her to come. I don't know how many minutes I stared at the door as I waited for it to open and then looked at the clock again.

8:10 AM.

She's late.

Is she late?

No, it can't be what I am thinking.

She can't leave me like this.

I am hoping now, that she will call me or even Carmona to inform us that something happens to her or better she will call and say that she can't come and need an off because that fucking Charles has died.

I guess that's a piece of good news.

I hope so.

I hope that is her reason.

I can't wait any more time and I should have called her.

I am about to walk outside to let Carmona call Ashley but I suddenly stop and I changed my mind.

No, I will go to her house to check on her. I have a key and I can let in anytime. Better if I am the one who can see if she is still there or----

It can't be, she can't leave me.

I am about to go outside when the door suddenly opens and to my surprise, Ashley came. I hold my breath to make sure I wasn't hallucinating because of too much thinking.

Is she really came?

"Good morning, sorry I'm late," she greeted with a bow.

She really came. Yes, it's here.

I didn't say a word but I breathed a sigh of relief. I look at her from head to toe and examined her. She looked ok so somehow I became ok too.

I thought she left me and I am too worried.

"Why are you late?" I tried to be tough at her to let her know that I am a little angry.

"There was an accident on the road and I tucked on the traffic." I didn't respond to what she said and just let her approach her table so she can start her work. So I did the same as I feel relief to see her.

"Next time when you come late call Carmona or me and inform one of us."

"Sorry, I will not do it again."

I look at her from time to time and I can see in her gesture that she avoids me as if she is afraid of me.

I also kind of notice her trembling when I call her to ask her something.

Is she sick?

Or is she afraid of me?

Should I be happy or should I be nervous?

But instead of thinking, I chose to ignore her. I just let her do what she was doing so she wouldn't be afraid of me. At least she's ok. I was relieved because she came in and she never left me again. I'll let her do her job first and I'll talk to her later when she's really ok in my presence. Maybe from what I did to her last night, she was still afraid of me.

Thank God she came. I thought I might not see her again.