OUR PAST

=ASHER's POV=

I'm holding a glass of whiskey while thinking about what I heard in the conversation between Ashley and Hailey yesterday. She loves me but she can't choose.

I just shook my head as I sipped the wine one after another.

"More scotch, please," I ordered to the bartender.

I didn’t go home because Agatha wasn’t there. She said she was going to Ley's house. I don't want to question her anymore. I don't want to ask any more questions to anyone from now on.

I was about to drink the wine when I noticed two people on the dance floor sweetly dancing. I smile bitterly when I remember the past.

FLASHBACK

"Please Cliff, she needs an escort at the party," Agatha keeps on disturbing me, asking to be Ashley's escort in their prom.

"Agatha, I'm busy, see, I refused to be your escort, what's more on her."

"But she doesn't have any."

"So? Not my problem,"

"Why are you avoiding her? You know I notice you don't like her. She's nice, that's why she's been my best friend since the first day of high school."

"She's brat like you,"

"So, you really avoiding her?"

"Stop, saying nonsense,"

"Then, why are you avoiding here? When she's here you easily get mad."

"Because I don't like her, simple as that."

I took my bag and left her alone cause I don't want to argue with her.

The truth is, I avoid Ashley because I feel differently about her. Fuck she's too young but I can't resist her charm.

Her smile keeps on playing on my mind, her laughter is always echoing in my air, I feel I am losing my mind every time she's around.

I know it's fucking forbidden, She is eight years younger than me. She is like a sister to me. But for fuck sake, I can't help myself every time she's near.

I remember the first day Agatha introduced her to me. That was the first time I could feel something strange in my stomach. My World stops and I feel like we’re just the two of us there. And since that day, I know she is special to me.

I had to restrain myself. I can't because she's my sister's friend. And most of all she is young.

Agatha looks at me BAD and ignores me. I also ignored her because I knew she would just tease me about Ashley.

I am preparing my things for school when she suddenly speaks.

"Poor bestfriend. No escort later."

"She has her brother,"

"He said he is in the Philippines, there is an emergency."

I ignored Agatha and left.

END OF FLASHBACK

I smile and look at the same dancer again. They're looking at each other like they are totally in love.

We used to be like that. When she was still with me.

But no one can beat what happened at their party.

FLASHBACK

I am standing outside and let the staff of the event call my sister. I didn't have an invitation because I didn't take the card from Agatha. I had no intention of going but I felt sorry for Ashley.

"Asher,"

Shit! Why did my knees always shake when I heard her voice.

"Hi," I whispered.

"I thought you wouldn't come, Agatha said you don't want to go, it's good you're here,"

"Yeah, ah, I feel bored so I change my mind, where's Agatha?"

"Oh, she's busy dancing with her partner, honestly, I'm alone on the bench, let's go inside." I am surprised when she held my hand. I feel all the electricity running unto my whole body.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Your hands are too cold."

"Ah, yeah, yeah, it's cold outside, and I am cold."

"Ow, I see." When we entered the event, almost everyone was dancing. The disco was playing and almost no one was in the seat.

"I want to dance but not with strangers. There is someone who came with me, but I want to choose a partner." I smiled at what she said. "Shall we dance?"

"Huh?"

"Are you really ok?"

"Ah, yeah, yeah,"

She pulled me to the dance floor but when we got there the music changed. It suddenly became a love song.

"Whoa, love it," she said then put her hand on my shoulder.

"Amp is it ok when ---" I couldn't continue what I was about to say. I want to ask her permission if it's ok for her to put my hand on her waist.

"Yeah sure," I feel my hand shakings in nervousness. This is the first time I dance with a girl and I can't believe it's in the woman I want.

"You're handsome tonight," she said with a smile.

"Really? Wasn't it before?"

"You're handsome then, but you're more handsome now. You already have a girlfriend?" she asked.

"No, not in priority."

"Ow, that's good, for sure Agatha will be angry."

"Do you have a boyfriend already?"

"No, I'm 15 so it's not allowed yet,"

"Good, study first."

"Yeah, I know, aren't you 23 already?"

"Yup?"

"So you're much experienced?"

"Huh?"

"Experienced,"

"What do you mean?"

"Hmph, in life, in friendship, in a kiss, and sex?" she whispered the last word.

"What?"

"It's ok, we're like siblings, right? I and my brother are open in this talk as well, why are you and Agatha not?"

"Well, not literally, I mean, depends on the topic."

"Ow, I hope you are not offended."

"No, I am not,"

"Asher,"

"Yup,"

"The woman you will love will be lucky to have you because apart from being handsome, you are also kind, supportive, and protective."

"Really?

"Yeah,"

I was shocked when she suddenly hugged me.

"Thank you for coming and being my escort." I don’t know if I was the only one who felt like my surroundings stopped when she hugged me. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, ah, I thought of my exam tomorrow,"

"Hmph, sorry if I disturbed you,"

"No no no." I wept quickly when I saw that her face was sad. "Don't get disappointed, I am ok,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah,"

"Thank you." If earlier my world had stopped when she hugged me. Now I feel even my breathing stopped when she kissed me on the cheek. "Agatha and I are both lucky, because, we have brothers like you and big bro. Now, I am now your youngest sis also," she said with a smile.

"Yeah," younger sis, that's for the better.

END OF FLASHBACK

I smile bitterly when I remember her first kiss on my cheeks. It all seems like only yesterday. Her kiss is like a seal on my cheek, on my lips, on my personality that is always still fresh in my mind when I remember.

Why did she do this to me? Why do we end up like this?

She loves me but she cheated on me.

Am I that worthless in bed for her to trade for someone else?

Am I that bored with her and can't make her happy so she is not satisfied?

I thought the word love was enough for a relationship to last. But no, when something is missing, especially one of the essentials, it is still damaged.

But fuck, is sex is more important for her to exchange for my love?

I can do what she wants in bed if she just tells me. I just am careful with her and treat her like a fragile because that’s where I want to make her feel how important she is to me. How important her body is to me even though she always says she is not worthy of adoration.

I am not lame in bed, I just love her that is why I am more cautious of her.

"Hi, would you mind if I joined you?" A woman same as my age looks at me seductively. I smile at her and stand then whisper.