THE RECONCILIATION ( ASHLEY'S SIDE )

=ASHLEY's POV=

"What is this?" I asked as I touched the envelope.

"I removed your debt to me. Hunter has a share in the hospital so take it a shared interest," he began. I didn't speak first and just let him say what he had to say. He might get angry if I will interrupted him. "Red Agency contacted me. They asked about your performance and I said you're doing a great job," he seconded.

Why I could feel the sadness in his voice and I didn't seem to like what he would say next.

"Thank you," I said. He averted his eyes then took a deep breath before facing me.

"Ashley, can we talk as Ashley and Asher?" he asked and I nod. I don’t know what we’re talking about but I don't feel I want to know what it is. Because it seems that it is important what we are going to talk about.

"Sure."

"Open the envelope," he ordered.

"What is this?"

"Open it." I obeyed what he said even though I was nervous I opened the envelope. I frowned when I saw what was inside of the envelope

"Annulment?" He nodded then smiled with sadness.

Is this it?

Is this what I'm afraid of?

Is this really the end?

'Don't do it now, because I am not ready yet.'

"Aren't you still not forgive me?" I ask. I feel my tears are about to come out. I was expecting this but why do I feel like this?

Why does it still hurt?

"I forgive you already. That's why I filed an annulment so that you and Charles can be free to get married."

‘If you only knew who Charles is. If you only knew I that I don't have any man except you. If only I could introduce you to him.'

Sometimes I just want to be selfish and tell him the truth. But I know I can't because I can only hurt him. This is what I want but I don't seem ready yet.

"Us or you and Paula?" He shook his head as an answer.

"No, I've never loved Pau. It's only you Ashley, I still love you since then up until now. The first woman I love and the last. I'm doing this for you because I know you're having a hard time. So I'm letting you go. It hurts for me but this is the only way to keep you from getting confused. I'll give you all your rights. Everything for you so you and Charles can get started."

I don’t want to lose him. This is all I hold on to so that I can say that I still have a right to him to call my husband. I'm not ready to let him go yet.

Yes, I expected this. But it still hurts knowing that this is the beginning. I am afraid that by the time I signed he would be gone forever from me. Maybe my life will be even more meaningless when I don't even see him anymore. I still need him now even if it's just his presence first.

I approached him then knelt in front of him. I could see the shock on Clifford's face because of what I did.

"What if I do not want to?" I asked while crying. I was willing to be hurt over and over again with him, mentally or physically. Just to be with him.

"Ashley," he softly calls to me.

"What if I don't want an annulment, will you force me? You will hurt me to sign?" I cried while asking. "Will you hit me over and over to force me?"

"No, I don't know. My mind changes when I'm drunk and I hurt you even if I don't want to. Forgive me because I'm carried away by my anger. The pain you gave me before always crossed every time I am drunk. I don't want to hurt you but I can't help myself." He sincerely apologized while holding my face and crying as well.

"I don't want to, Asher, I don't want to sign that annulment. Even if you bit me again and again, I'll accept as long as you are with me. Don't go now, Ash, I'm sorry but I still need you." I saw the confusion on his face. Confused but he just let me cry in front of him while kneeling. I took his hand and kissed it while continuing to cry.

"Ashley,"

"Am I selfish, Asher, if I ask you to stay by my side?" I said then continued to cry. "I don't want you to lose from my sight. Am I selfish if I ask you to sympathize with my grief when Charles leaves me?"

"Ashley, why are you doing this? Why are you torturing us?"

"Because I love you but I have an obligation to him. I love you and only you but I can't turn my back on him. I only have an obligation to him but you are the one I love. Only you and no one else. Will you agree, Asher? Will you agree? Will I be able to lean to you when he leaves me?" I don’t know if I’m doing it right. But I was confused and could not understand what was happening.

All I need is him.

Of all the things I have done to him, my request for him to stay is vague, but I will gamble even if it means no ending pain in his hand. If that is what he wants to ask as a replacement I am willing to get hurt.

"Ashley,"

"Please, Asher, I'm begging you. Not now. Please, I'm asking you to stay, can you?"

"Yes. As your husband or even as your friend. Where you are happier I will support you. Because I love you so much." I didn't expect his answer so I cried even more. I didn't think he would accept me even though he thought I was with someone else.

"Thank you, Asher,"

"Ashley," he called then touched my cheek and wiped away my tears. "Once he's gone, can I take you back? Can you be my wife again?"

I looked at him and I could see in his eyes the pain and sadness. But I could also see there his desire to be with me. The looks are full of love.

"Will you still accept me, even if I left you because of someone else? Even if I hurt you?" He nodded then touched my chin and bowed then he kissed me.

"Yes, even if you repeatedly go with others, I will repeatedly accept you once you come back." I leaned my head on his thigh and there continued to cry. "I won't get tired of understanding you, Ashley. I won't get tired of loving you."

He loves me and he is willing to forgive me for everything I have done.

I will admit to him everything. I will introduce him to Charles. We can both be hurt and at least we sympathize with each other. Now I know that no matter what happens, despite he thought I loved others he could still accept me. He can still forgive me and he wants me.

Now I know that it is time for him to know the truth that no mercy will prevail over him so he will come back to me, but because he loves me. It's normal for him to feel sorry for what happened to me but at least the main reason he wants me back is that he still loves me. Because he really loves me.

"Thank you, Asher." He caresses my head as we both continue to cry. Now I'm ok. I have someone to sympathize with and someone I really want to sympathize with within everything I go through.