holding back

My whole body was covered in dust and dirt and I was also sticky because of the sweat from a few hours of cleaning the whole apartment but I still went on scrubbing the sticky dried rice on the floor tiles.

In my mind, I had already killed a few hundred times and shredded into pieces, the green-eyed monster named Dave. If it weren't for him, I would be at the spa now and enjoying Maverick's money spending of forty-nine million.

But no. I'm here now almost scratching my face on the blackened white tiles. I can only imagine Dave's face as I leisurely brushed his face on the floor.

When I was finished, I rested for a while while eating a watermelon. I glanced at the wall clock. It's past ten o'clock in the evening. I put my elbows on the kitchen table and ate the fruit while wiping my sweat. I want to take a bath right at this instant but I still need to rest for a few minutes.

I looked over my place and smiled. It's back to its tidy and order form as it should be. I stretched my arms in the air and yawned.

"I'm so sleepy."

It's been two straight weeks that I haven't slept well because of watching Lagma Rey.

I went to his company posing as a client hoping that I would see him but I ended up waiting in vain. The next few days after that were spent trailing him according to his schedule Dave gave me but again and again, I have not picked out a single clue that will lead me to the location of my subject. Dave is super right. The man is as clean as a white sheet. He's clever too.

If I hadn't been good at disguising myself, he might have caught me a long time ago. I also couldn't just approach him because of his many bodyguards.

I can't wait until the gala night for some information about the guy. I'm wasting time and I'm running out of it. If I do not take a solid step now, I might lose the only little chance I have of finding what I was looking for. It will only cost me one wrong move and he will really leave the country with the subject.

My efforts were just put in vain when I didn't see Lagma's shadow come out of the restaurant. What I had hoped for did not happen. I was so frustrated because things didn't work for me and there's no good development in my mission. I just decided to go home and clean the house. As of now, I'm putting all my bets on Dave.

I stood up to put the watermelon back in the refrigerator. Then I sat down on the sofa and started folding the washed clothes. I was stunned when I turned my gaze to see Maverick's jacket and t-shirt.

I missed that obnoxious arrogant guy who drives me crazy with his touch and kisses. I missed our sharp conversations. I miss hugging him when we are sleeping.

But all of that should be shoved in the corner for now.

I got up and went into the room to get a paper bag. I carefully tucked the t-shirt and the jacket inside. I don't know when Maverick and I will meet or if we will have another chance to meet so that I can give it back to him but just in case destiny wants to play with us again and it decided that we should meet again.

"Tsk. When did I become so cheesy? Destiny my ass."

I put the other clothes in the closet then took a towel and went straight to the bathroom. I need a long warm bath to soothe my aching muscles.

I came out of the bathroom feeling very fresh. I got a boyleg and a long faded t-shirt to wear. I also applied moisturizer to my face and lotion all over the body. I was in the middle of drying my hair when I heard a knock in the living room.

My hands immediately froze in the air. My eyes became alert and I immediately grabbed the Swiss knife under the mattress.

Who the fuck knocks on one's door at almost midnight?

"Ms. Alcantara? Are you still awake? Ms. Alcantara?"

My heart beat returned to normal when I recognized the voice of my landlady.

Right. That weird girl from the other side of this room used to knock on my door in the dawn just to give me her newly baked dark black cookies with red sauce. Maybe this disturbing action is no exception.

"What is it this time? Man, that woman has been giving me anything under the sun."

I left my room and removed the three padlocks on the door then slowly opened it.

"What—" I was cut off from the rest of what I was going to say when I smelled the familiar perfume. Fruits. It smelled of fruits.

I looked up and met the eyes that were staring at me with the mischievous smile playing in the corner of his lip.

The guy in his immaculate navy blue three-piece suit is towering over me while his hands are in his pockets.

"Hi, Fem.." he said in a tired voice.

I blinked to regain my lost composure at the sight of the very man I was just thinking earlier.

"What are you doing here, Fuentebella? Where's my landlady? I heard her call me that's why I opened the door."

I looked around to find the woman. I was so sure she called my name.

"Ah, that girl? She is kind enough to help me. She said she's the only one who can summon you out like an angel out of heaven. I don't know what she meant by that but whatever her reason is, I appreciate her kind heart. So pure."

I grimaced at how he casually said those things while smiling at me.

"I don't really have any idea what you're saying and I don't know why you're here. So why are you here?"

Maverick leaned on the frame of the door.

"I miss you."

I could not make out what he meant. For a moment it was as if I felt something digging into my stomach. Suddenly, my throat went dry and I felt like I was having trouble breathing. I averted my face and cleared my throat.

"I don't have time for this, Fuentebella. I'm tired and I just want to rest so don't bother me now. Go home."

I was about to close the door when he stopped it and took big steps to enter inside. I backtracked at what he had done when I read the determination on his face. He also returned the padlocks one by one.

I was shaken for a little bit. How bold of him.

He stared at the whole house and then smiled at me. The whole place seemed to be crowded because of the man's presence.

"What are you doing? I told you to go home already because I want to rest. I want to sleep."

He yawned and took off his coat and laid it on the sofa, sat down, and crossed his legs.

"Me too. I'm tired. Come now. Let's sleep."

I glared at him.

"Spare me with your jokes, Fuentebella. Go home now. "

Instead of following me, he stood up and untied his neck tie as well as his belt.

"I'm not joking. And for the nth time, it's Mav or Mab. Quit calling me Fuentebella. And I will be sleeping here for the night. My body's too tired to drive."

"Don't play your games with me. One call from you and the whole of your staff will race against time to get here. "

"But I'm too tired to even make a call. Please, can you be at least hospitable enough to let me stay here for a couple of hours? We're enemies turned lovers right?"

I frowned at the last thing he said.

"Whatever we had is all water under the bridge now. You're too tired to make a call? Give me your phone. I'll call them."

I held out my palm to him but he just shook his head.

"I don't have the phone with me. I left it in the car."

"Then give me your keys. I'll get it. Hurry."

He shook his head again.

"What a cruel woman you are. Okay, how about you let me borrow your bed for an hour and then you wake me up after. I'll just take a quick nap just to get my energy back. Is it okay with you?"

I still frowned at him. I don’t know what drama he is having in his life right now and why he does it.

"Nice. You're speechless, that means you are agreeing with me."

He started walking towards the bedroom. I could just do nothing while he casually slip into my room and disappear.

"Shit!"

I just screamed in frustration when I saw the dirt created by his shoes on the floor I had just cleaned.

"Why do men love to shit and then leave?"

I rushed to get a rag and disinfectant to clean the dirt he left. I knelt on the floor and began wiping the traces of Maverick's shoes. I was devastated to see the dirt all the way into my room.

I stood up and sighed in annoyance as I ran towards the room. I was ready to shout at the top of my lungs at the man and slap the wet rag on him but all that was gone when I saw him sleeping peacefully. Maverick lay on my bed with no top and hugging my pillow. He just fit himself on my little bed.

He looks so out of place with him snuggling comfortably in my neon covers and SpongeBob pillow covers.

"Look at this big man sleeping like a child. Be thankful I'm in the mood to be kind right now. Had it been on other days, I would have shoveled all these to you."

I wiped the floor and washed the rag. I went back to the bedroom to put away his dress shirt that had fallen on the other side of the bed. I folded it up and laid it on the sofa with his belt and neck tie. I also took the paper bag containing his t-shirt and jacket and laid it next to his clothes.

I kicked his feet before taking off his shoes and socks.

"God! Never have I thought I'll be doing this to you. You've dirtied my squeaky clean floor, you've left your clothes anywhere, and now you're going to make me a babysitter. I wish you're awake so I could punch you in your gut."

I slapped his ass which elicited a growl from Maverick.

I put his shoes on the shoe rack in the living room and then returned to the room with a mug of coffee. I turned on the aircon before picking up the book about agriculture.

I sat on the floor, put on eyeglasses, leaned on the side of the bed and started reading. When I finished my coffee, I took it out to the kitchen to wash it. Then I went back to the room, sat comfortably on the floor, and resumed reading.

Sometimes I glance at the man sleeping next to me. Time passed quickly. If it weren’t for a warm arm caressing my shoulder I wouldn’t have let go of the book I was holding. Maverick pressed his face against my neck and whispered.

"Hey, it's so late. You should sleep now..."

My hair stood on one end when I felt his warm breath on my neck. His ragged husky voice seems to seep through my skin.

"Yeah. I should."

But he didn't let me go. He took his time sniffing me and nuzzling his nose on the side of my neck. I gulped at how he made my body too sensitive to him.

"Mav.. Let go. Please."

He chuckled first before releasing me.

I returned the book to the book shelf and faced him with my hands akimbo.

"Move over."

He didn't move.

"You can lay on my chest. Your bed's too small for the two of us."

"Not my problem. I didn't buy it to share with anyone. Or wait, your time's up. You can go home now."

Umusog ito sa kanang bahagi ng kama at tinapik ang espasyo sa tabi nito.

"Here it is. Come."

I didn't move.

"Just go home already."

He suddenly pulled me by the hand next to the bed and hugged me. He put his finger on my lips and trapped me with his legs.

"Shhh. You should sleep now and let me also sleep in silence. I still have a flight later to Japan."

"You have a flight and yet here you are messing up with my house and my life. Make up your mind, Mav. Stop hugging me!"

I pushed his arm away from my waist and turned my back against him.

"I miss you, Fem. I miss you so bad.."

He hugged me from behind and kissed my hair. "I don't know what you have done to me. You're making me crazy."

I removed his hands from my body again.

"You just want sex. Maybe you should get laid. Go get yourself a girlfriend and stop pestering me. Our contract has ended and I will never say yes to your proposal."

I heard no answer from him so I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. But then his hands went to my waist again under the sheets.

"It's you I only want. I don't want any other woman. I only want you. Just you. If I have to buy every second I spend with you then so be it. If I go broke buying your time all over again then I'll just reinvest again. That's how I want you to be in my life, Fem."

It was as if a warm hand had caressed my heart at what Maverick had said.

"What a sweet-talker. Just stop it. You're making my whole body cringe."

I touched his hand on my waist and caressed it.

"Sleep now. It's just your lack of sleep. It could make you hallucinate, think and say things you don't mean."

"If it's you sweetheart, I'm more than willing to take a risk. Always."

He leaned over to me and kissed me on the cheek. He kept a good distance between us and only held my hand.

Maverick was completely asleep holding my hand but I was still wide awake and was staring at the ceiling. His words kept replaying in my mind. I turned to the man on my side who was sleeping peacefully. I could not hold back the tears because of what he said.

"We can't be together, Mav. We just can't."