Chapter 26 The Disappointment

Anika's PoV

Once back home, mom asked me about Arun. I technically hate to tell her that he's not confirmed his visit yet. That will not be a good first impression. I believe that he would definitely make his time for us next week so I decided to tell her the same. Though she didn't question me, I could see that she was confused.

"What is bothering you, ma?" I asked her.

"Just wondering, our relative asks for your horoscope and biodata as soon as possible and here we can't decide until next week. What happened to the interview that your professor promised?" she asked me.

"Pch, that is not scheduled yet. I know we are going through a lot now, but please don't talk about my marriage just yet, ma. The most important thing I need now is a job. um... can you call and ask Arjun sir for a job?" I told her to divert her from my wedding topic. And I am badly in need of a job.

"You spoke very badly to him, Anu. How in the world can I ask him to help you? You said you didn't want his charity, why do you want to seek his help now?" my mom asked me, more like rubbed it on my face. She doesn't know I didn't mean any of it, I just wanted to make him stay away by hurting his male ego.

"Ma, please. I already apologized to him and he really enjoyed it when you hit me in front of him." I told her.

"See, even now you talk bad of him."

"You didn't see his face when you hit me, he was completely enjoying it. Pch, let it go ma. I am losing hope with all my contacts. Please, ma."

"Ok, ok, I will call him now. I will talk to him first, if he wants some information, you have to talk to him. Make sure to talk very politely to him." she said.

"I will!" I said and I don't know why my stomach flips in anxiety. Am I longing to hear him on the phone? Is that why I called him yesterday? I am an idiot.

She called him, she spoke to him like he was a king, she conveyed our problem. Here I was waiting for her to give the phone to me but she disconnected the call and turned to me with a smile that lit up her face. Am I feeling disappointed? Yes! Why? I don't know.

"What did he say?" I asked her.

"He said he needs your resume. Here is his number, send it to him through your WhatsApp. He said he will look into it and let us know."

"Oh, can you ask him to look for a job in Coimbatore itself?" I asked her. I am afraid now. I can't go to Chennai knowing that he is there and there is a huge possibility that I can see him. Wait, but Arun is there too. Why didn't I think of him?!

"Listen to yourself. Have you listened to this proverb in our village? Beggars can't be choosers." she said sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Ma, you are hurting me. This is why I told him that I don't want his charity. See, now you speak like I am getting alms from him." I shouted.

"Ok, ok, relax. I was just kidding. First send him your resume. Now go help dad to finish his dinner." she said. I went in to carry out my regular work.

I took out my phone and checked for any messages from Arun. Nope, nothing! No message since we spoke yesterday. Actually, we were never chatty lovers. We speak when we meet and message occasionally. We never call each other on weekends. I never felt the urge to talk to him or hear his voice, just like I felt a little before. Wait, what am I doing? Why am I comparing my feelings on Arun and Arjun? It's all because of Nithu. She confused me.

I sat down to send my resume to his number. I thought it was rude to just send my resume without any courtesy message. What should I send?

'Hi, this is Anika. Here is my resume, awaiting a good response from you. Thank you.'

I typed this and felt it was not good. I erased and retyped.

'Hello, this is Anika here. How are you? Here is my resume. Thank you.'

Nope, not good, it sounds rude!

'Hello Mr. Arjun, this is Anika. Hope you are doing good. This is my resume. Sorry for our earlier encounters. Thank you for accepting our request.'

This message makes me look like a girl who will stoop any low to get my work done. Well, I am not that kind of a girl. He must know that I am truly sorry for what happened between us earlier.

'Hello Mr. Arjun, This is Anika here. Accept my heartfelt apology for our earlier encounters. I did what I did for a reason which is not right from your point of view and it is not your fault. I accept that I did wrong. Hope we start fresh! I have sent my resume just like you asked. Thank you for your help!'

Mhum No! Too much information that is irrelevant and unwanted!

'Hello Mr. Arjun, this is Anika here. I would like for you to accept my heartfelt apology for our earlier encounters. I hope we start fresh! Thank you for helping us out yet again. Here is my resume for your perusal.'

Done! I hit the send button and sent my resume along with it. I waited for him to see my message. I was waiting in anticipation when I saw the blue ticks on the message which meant he read the message. Will he reply? Why would he after all the insults I gave him? But still I waited for a response from him. I got too excited when my phone ding indicating that I received a message after about ten minutes. I opened it at the speed of lightning.

'Hello Anika. I got your resume.'

Is that it? That is all he managed to send me? What about my apology? Arrogant rude man. I felt disappointed all over again but I don't really know what I expect of him. I decided to let it go but my stupid brain keeps on thinking about him. I don't know any way to stop this madness. Just like I told Nithu, I should try and evacuate him from my mind before Arun tells me a date. But the more I try to not think about him, the more I feel him and remember him. I could still feel his finger on my chin. Those butterflies that swam in my stomach at that time, still swims there whenever I feel his finger on me. Is this love?

What is love to be precise? Argh, it is all because of Nithu. She was the one that has confused me with her stupid preaching and cheesy movie stories. How can you possibly love someone without even knowing who he is? I agree that I have a fatal attraction towards him but that is not love, in my point of view. On the other hand, I know everything about Arun. I know his habits, hobbies, character and his family. We acknowledged the mutual feeling we had for one another and we moved our relationship from friendship to love. We know for sure that we will be happy in each other's company. Now this is love! But all this seems so planned. Like Nithu says, love is a feeling and that is not something we plan.

Argh! I just want to run away. I have so many problems already and I really don't want to add more to the list. What if I ask someone to clarify? Not Nithu, ofcourse. She is the main reason that I am confused right now. I decided to mail the stalker. I like him so much. He comes in handy at all my distress times.

'Hello Mr. Stalker,

How are you? Hope you are doing good. I am in need of your view on something on a little personal level. Hope you don't mind me asking. What is love? How do you know if you are in love? I am in total confusion and if you can shed some light, I will be grateful to you.

Thank you!'

I sent this mail to him and decided to sleep but sleep decided to run away from me. I set the phone aside and covered my head with my blanket and tried sleeping when my phone pinged. Who messages me at this hour? I looked at the phone and was happy to see a message from the stalker.

'Hello Beautiful,

I am too good. Thank you. You have asked the wrong person about love. Honestly, I thought I had the love of my life. I waited for it to bloom and come to me. I gave it time only to realize that it was just me, not her! I am a busy man and I really didn't have time to LOVE. But when it came along the way, I accepted it wholeheartedly and gave my everything. To me, love is very painful. But my friend says that what I had was acceptance and not love. She says that love is a feeling where you have no control over it. You may want to deny it but you will know in the heart. I think I have confused you more than you already were. I am sorry I could not help you with this topic.

Regards!'

Sutham! He has a friend just like I have. Friends are very troublesome and confusing. But I could read the melancholy that ran between the lines. He is not happy? Why does it bother me?