Chapter 33 Somersaults

Anika's PoV

Things happened so fast once I told my consent to my mom. My mom informed Sivaprakasam periyappa about our approval and he was more than happy about this. I really wonder if there are real good people in this world still alive like Periyappa who can oversee his sorrow and wish goodness for someone else. Mom, after talking to him, told me that he will let Arjun's parents know about our consent. I started going to my office, I liked the place and people there. I don't know, but I felt like I was given special care and help in the office. Maybe that is how they treat newcomers there but I felt it is because I was referred to by Arjun. That gave me a kick inside and it made me float in the skies.

Two days after I said ok, things actually started to happen at a very fast pace. An indescribable feeling of fear and enthusiasm hit me straight in my face. Mom spoke on the phone to many of our relatives. Even though I heard everything she spoke, I never remembered anything because of the fear that was building inside of me. I called up Nithu to ask if she felt the same before Prakash came to see her. She said she experienced the same that I experience now. But she said she was ok when she talked to Prakash over the phone.

Talk to him on the phone? I still remember the talks we had last on the phone. I called him to let him know that I aced the interview and I got the job. He didn't pick up my call and the worst part is he cut my call. I felt broken inside and didn't really know what to do. I mean I just said yes to marry him and here he didn't even want to talk to me? When my horses tried to reign my heart in more deep shit, my phone rang and saved me. I involuntarily jumped looking at the caller id. 'Ardent Arjun' . I picked up immediately and he APOLOGIZED to me for not picking up my call. He did that!? I am so ashamed of myself for disrespecting him and insulting him when he is such a down to earth persona.

But the talks didn't go as I expected. He spoke like he didn't know that there is a talk between our families to tie us together that literally wounded my heart. And above all he said he is going to grant my 'wish'. I genuinely don't remember what I wished from him until he said what my stupid 'wish' was. Yes, I wished for that. But not anymore. I want him to be with me. I want to spend my life with him. I love him. I love his manliness. I love the way he carries himself. I love his voice. I love the goodness in him. I am attracted to him like a magnet. But something stops me from admitting all this to him. My mind says that I have the ego to admit my feelings to him and my heart says that he may think cheap of me if I say that out loud. I mean there is enough room for him to think that I am an opportunist which I am not. I could only say that he would see me again and hang up on him before he could say something and hurt my already wounded soul.

I cannot talk to him to make me feel better like Nithu said. I am afraid that the chances for the opposite to happen is more if I call him. So I let it rest and decided to go with the flow just like Nithu said. My dad looked genuinely happy about this arrangement and he looked a lot healthy in just two days' time. It is just a wonder what good things can do to people's emotional and mental health that reflects on our physical health.

I went to work in the mornings and helped dad in the evenings. I also helped mom and Advay in organizing for the upcoming event. Advay was actually happy on the inside about this marriage but spoke to me like a very caring brother to know how much I am into this wedding. Remember, my family still thinks that I am broke. I felt blessed to be a part of this caring family. My dad, despite his condition, tries to help do little things and his enthusiasm is just enough fuel for mom to carry on with the work. My mom, I don't know if my birth mother would be this loving and considerate to me. Even though there is a high chance that this marriage could wipe away our sorrows she was ready to throw that away just for my happiness.

Mom started inviting people over to our house when Periyappa called her to inform that Arjun and his parents agreed to visit us the next day. I was thrilled completely. I expected a call from Arjun at least to acknowledge the things happening around us but I got none from him. I was at the verge of calling him at times but stopped myself at the end. I cannot look desperate in his eyes. I am already a super arrogant girl in his eyes and I cannot stoop any low in there.

Here, at last the day has come and our house is filled with people. Periyappa said he will attend my wedding and excused himself from today. Though mom was upset that he could not come, she had many preparations to do that kept her occupied and from worrying. Dad was all happy and smiling. Advay looked like the man of the house, nothing like a school kid anymore. He took care of everything from food to snacks. I wonder how situations bring out the better in you. Nithu came yesterday night and I didn't sleep a bit. She kept comforting me but I am more than scared for the next day. Just like I helped her in her engagement, she helped me in mehendi and getting ready. I decided to drape a purple saree which I have gotten huge compliments from my college once. I wanted to look beautiful in his eyes.

"Nithu, will these jewels go well with this saree?" I asked her.

"God, you have been torturing me with your silly questions, Anu. You look as beautiful as you are always. These jewels are beautiful and compliments you well." she sighed.

I decided to finish my looks with a single braid full of jasmine. A small necklace and a single bangle on both my hands. I stroke a thick line of Eyeliner, a small maroon bindi with a white stone on it and that is it. I usually am not a fan of make up and I always go on bare skin with just a sunscreen moisturizer. So I left it at that. I felt so weird in my own behavior. I kept looking at myself in the mirror 'n' number of times and I was so self conscious of my appearance. Weirdly it happens only when it involves him. ARJUN, he is a magic that happened to me.

When In the room, we heard a lot of commotion on the outside that informed us about their arrival. He has come! It is really happening and I am not dreaming or making it up. A sudden ball of fear gathered up in my stomach and I felt hard to even breath. I could hear him talk even in all those chaos outside. His metallic voice is the one that I wish to even hear when I am asleep. My mom came in to fetch me and Nithu decided to stay in my room. I went outside and stood near my aunt when my mom gave me a tray of coffee.

All my insides jitter in anticipation and fear. I don't know what the outcome of this would be but still I wanted to see him at least. But my head, all of a sudden felt heavy and I could not lift my eyes up to see him. I started serving the coffee to everyone from his family and when it was time to give it to him, all my heart ordered me to lift my eyes to meet his’ and I did the same.

When I met his eyes, my stomach made somersaults and I felt chills run down my spine. Those eyes, it looks like he is wearing a mask on it to hide his feelings. His eyes though looked dead, felt like looked at me in compassion and that made me feel light in the heart and I smiled at him. He looked like he was frozen in his spot at my smile. He might be in shock, he wouldn't have imagined me to smile at him, ofcourse, I am an ever angry girl who probably doesn't know to smile, in his eyes. I could feel his eyes follow me and that made me super uncomfortable. It felt like his eyes were pasted on me and I could not stop myself from looking at him.

He is super charming and handsome in his dark blue striped formal shirt and grey pants. His clean cut hair is perfectly styled and set. That dense black beard that covered his cheeks and chin made his lips look as luscious as possible. I could see him look at me so intensely but his face is like a rock, expressionless. I was super afraid to look him in the eyes and someone literally gave me a heart attack when they asked us to talk in private.

I walked to the backyard and he followed me. Once there, I knew that he was not going to talk. I have to talk to him and make him understand that I am nowhere near that girl he painted me in his mind. I started the talk explaining to him about my work and it felt more weird talking about that stuff at times like this. Fed up with the meaningless talks, I finally asked him if he is not going to ask me anything or talk to me.

"I don't know, Anika. Why are you agreeing to this wedding?" He asked me with a straight face.

"I don't see anything to disagree with. Wait, you don't like to marry me?" I asked him. I felt like I was facing my worst nightmare.

"Not that. From the meetings we shared, I inferred that you don't like me." He said the exact same thing I imagined him to tell me.

"No, that is not true. I said I am sorry for what had happened. Can't we just forget that and start fresh?" I tried telling him. I just wish the past days would just vanish from his mind.

"Huh, ok, but be honest with me. Do you really like this arrangement? Do your parents force you to agree to this?" He asked me after a long sigh.

"What? No! No, no one is forcing me to get married to you. I really am happy to marry you. I just want to say that I am sorry for everything I did before. I was scared of you and myself that I wanted to keep you away. I am really sorry. " I said as sincerely as I could to make him understand that this is completely my decision.

"What does that mean?" He asked me. All of me wanted to tell him the truth that my heart fell at his feet on the very first meet and I was so scared of my physical urges towards him but I could not and I searched for any other sane explanation for my insane behavior.

"I ... uh... You... um... I thought that you were the reason for Anamika akka's disappearance until Prakasam periyappa told me differently. I am so sorry." I said looking away. I know I am a thick skull. I saw a glint of hurt in his eyes and I just want to kill myself for telling that to him.

"So you now believe that I am not the reason behind Anamika's disappearance?" he asked plainly.

"Yes," I said. Now I really feel like I should have listened to Nithu's advice and confess my feelings to him instead of hurting him like I did now.

"Do you have anything to tell me before this proceeds to the next step?" He asked me. Ok! This is a positive sign. He doesn't want to stop this wedding.

"um.... You know my family's state. I want to help them financially. I want to go to work even after our marriage to support them. Is that ok with you?" I said gaining a little more confidence. He is not going to deny me.

He said I have all the freedom to do whatever I like and that made my heart do a somersault. But he also said that my family would be his, If we are married. Who in the world would talk like this to a girl who did nothing but insult him on all the occasions? He did! If I was in love with him before, I am addicted to him now. He is a perfect man with loads of goodness.

"You don't have anything to ask me? What do you know about me?" He asked me when I was hugging and kissing him in my head.

"I just want to ask you only one thing. Do you like me?" I asked him the only thing that came to my mind. I don't want to force him into a wedding if he hates me completely. I held my heart in my hands for his answer.

"I do!" He said with a little smile and turned around swiftly to leave. That smile! That is more than enough for me to push that 15 long days to our wedding!