Chapter 6

Joslyn shambled out of her room and down into the living area, her gaze glued to the screen of the mobile phone in her hand. She had her bottom lip between her teeth, worrying the flesh as her deeply furrowed eyebrows marred her already fatigued countenance even more.

Although it was now nearing noon and she had just woken up, having crashed almost immediately Sigourney and Gabriel left yesterday, her bones still felt like mush in her body and the skin beneath her eyes still housed dark circles with heavy eye-bags.

Jet lag was a bitch.

Sighing, Joslyn plopped onto her couch as she stared expectantly at her phone, awaiting a response to the text she had sent. No sooner had she sat down, did she stand up again and begin pacing, sifting her fingers through her silver strands with the roots being her natural ebony color. Her phone finally pinged and her gaze snapped to the device as she hastily opened the text and read. The hope in her eyes slowly dimmed then extinguished at her father's response.

Dad: I haven't. My God, darling, I completely forgot.

Rage, like no other, bubbled within Joslyn, alongside something akin to sadness and frustration. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Joslyn tapped the call button beside her father's contact, her angry words bubbling vigorously in her chest, impatient to be spat out at her father, who must have perceived his impending doom all the way from the other side of the phone because he refused to answer the call.

Persistent, Joslyn tried again two more times but her father declined the third and then, his text popped up.

Dad: I'm not gonna answer your calls, honey. I know I did wrong and waved the red flag at the bull.

Before she could contemplate a response, another text came in.

Dad: But I promise I'll visit the barracks today. I promise.

Then another.

Dad: I'm so sorry, honey.

The lump in Joslyn's throat grew thicker and her chin quivered from the effort it took to keep her tears at bay, however, the salty liquid still rimmed her honey orbs, making them glisten. She needed to let her father know he had disappointed her again, just like the many times in the last few months. But since the man was wisely avoiding her calls, she decided to shoot him a text instead.

‘Empty promises, Dad.’

Three simple words that packed a punch and were sure to convey how she felt.

‘I can't afford to lose him too. Please.’

Sniffling, Joslyn tossed her phone onto the couch and padded into the kitchen for a much needed cup of coffee—or perhaps the entire jug. She hadn't had caffeine this morning to give her the strength to weather through her storm of problems already approaching so early.

But just as she prepared to pour the coffee beans into the espresso machine, her doorbell went off.

Turning in the direction of the entrance, Joslyn wondered who it could be. She would have guessed it was her best friend, Sigourney, but Sig knew her passcode and besides, the woman had been considerate enough lately to not intrude on her sleep and rest time or drag a jet-lagged Joslyn out like she used to do.

So who could it be?

The doorbell rang again, its chime causing Joslyn to set down the bag of coffee beans before slowly approaching the entrance. She briefly considered if it was her father but Joslyn knew the man wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes for a while. Then hope soared in her when the thought of her brother crossed her mind. Had Joshua been found? Was he finally back?

Her steps quickened as she called out, “Be right there!”

And she opened the door with a flourish, wide, teary and hopeful eyes taking in the man on the other side of the door. The hope in her eyes dimmed and burned out and disappointment settled over her features as she took in the guest. It wasn't her brother, Joshua. Quickly, she blinked back the frustrated tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

But just as quickly as the disappointment had come, it evanesced just the same, shock taking over. Her eyes widened again but in surprise rather than hope when her mind finally registered the man standing before her.

Gabriel Reid.

Her best friend, Sigourney's, boyfriend.

“Hey,” he greeted after a moment of silence, his deep and husky voice causing Joslyn to jolt out of her initial shock at seeing him at her door.

Blinking rapidly, Joslyn closed her gaping mouth, swallowing as she responded. “H-hi.”

Confused, her eyes swept up and down the little red-carpeted lobby outside her penthouse suite, scanning for her best friend.

She hadn't informed her beforehand that she and her boyfriend would be coming today, after having already been introduced just yesterday but the lobby was empty, save for the two of them, Sigourney nowhere to be found.

“Sigourney isn't here.” The man said, backing up her observation. Joslyn's gaze returned to him in time to watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed before muttering, “I'm here alone.”

A moment of silence stretched between them before Joslyn collected herself. “Oh, well, uhm,” she stepped back and opened the door wider for him. “Come on in, then.”

Gabriel seemed to hesitate for a second before making his way into her house. Joslyn shut the door and made her way into the kitchen, hearing him follow behind her. “What can I offer you?” She said, whirling around to face him as she reached the counter to resume making her coffee. “I haven't made anything this morning since I just woke up,” she shot him a sheepish smile, “but I can get you some juice or coffee for starters.”

Her best friend's boyfriend remained quiet, simply staring at her before he appeared to regain his senses, averting his gaze and clearing his throat as he nodded. “Coffee's fine.”

Joslyn hummed and got to work, and a taut silence settled between them as the figurative elephant lingered heavily in the room. She had no idea why he was here—or so she tried to fool herself—but seeing as he had come without Sigourney, Joslyn couldn't help but admit that perhaps, she did have a vague idea about the reason behind his unannounced presence although she crossed her fingers and hoped she was wrong.

She had seen it in his slightly wide eyes and in the evident struggle it took him not to let his jaw drop to the ground when they had been introduced yesterday. She had felt it in his scorching, lingering looks at her yesterday—one that seared into her from behind even now.

But Joslyn didn't want to address it. She didn't even want to broach the subject at all.

The night two years ago.

It was in the past and what occured in the past should be left just as it was—the past. Yet the tension that had been between them that night now settled over them in the kitchen like a pregnant cloud about to burst and rain on them.

Having finished making the coffee, even though she had taken longer to in order to gather herself, Joslyn inhaled and exhaled deeply before turning to face him with two filled mugs in hand and a smile she was sure appeared as forced as it was, on her face.

“I didn't thank you for yesterday.” Joslyn began, setting down his mug before him and hoping to delay what she was sure he had come to discuss with her.

He arched a perfect eyebrow at her in silent question. “For cleaning my house,” she clarifies, reaching for the little basket of half-and-half and sugar packets before setting it in front of him. “I'm sorry you had to meet my place in such a state. My housekeeper, Bertha, has had a family emergency since about over a month ago and she isn't back yet. So I'd thought since I was gonna be on leave soon, I could come clean up myself when I arrive instead of going through the trouble of finding another housekeeper.”

“Oh,” he muttered, nodding as he reached for a sugar packet and tore it. “It's all good. Actually, I ripped Sigourney a new one when I saw the state of your house and she'd insisted we clean it up because I had tried to tell her that visiting you on the same day as your arrival was a bad idea—due to jet lag and other things. But she's your best friend so I'm sure you know how stubborn she is.”

Joslyn chuckled mirthfully, the first positive emotion to embrace her this late morning since a storm of negative ones had threatened to drive her under as soon as she'd awoken. “As stubborn as a mule, yeah.” She lifted her cup of coffee to her mouth (half-and-halfed and sugared to her taste), a fond smile playing on her lips at the thought of her best friend.

With raised eyebrows, leaning against the sink counter behind her, Joslyn sipped her coffee, having the intention to ask after Sigourney after she'd swallowed her mouth's content but the man seated across her beat her to it.

“You've changed,” he murmured, drawing her attention to his intense gaze staring at her, into her, as he mindlessly ran his thumb along the rim of his cup.

Joslyn's eyebrows shot up to her hairline and she lowered her own cup from her lips. “Pardon?” she choked out and watched as Gabriel's gaze raked slowly up and down her frame, making her skin prickle in awareness.

“You look different,” he clarified, “Different from that night two years ago.” He finally hit the nail on the head and Joslyn blinked rapidly, feeling mildly stunned even though she had predicted that they would have this conversation since he'd said he was here alone.

“I...” She trailed off, not knowing how to respond, but she understood what he meant.

That night two years ago, she hadn't had her hair as she wore it now. Two-toned black and silver hair styled in an asymmetrical lob now replaced her former jet-black, waist length hair and although she didn't have any earrings in this morning, she was sure her lobe, conch and helix piercings were conspicuous against the skin of her ears.

However, other than those generic features, Joslyn knew what else he referred to—what else he saw. She was aware of the dark circles marring the skin beneath her eyes, aware of the tiny veins mapping the tender flesh there; she was aware of her collarbones peeking over the collar of the oversized shirt she wore, which only contributed to making her seem like she was about to disappear inside it.

Lastly, she was aware of her shoulders sagging as though they held the weight of the world on them—or at least, the weight of her family.

She was a shell of the confident, sassy woman that had been at that club two years ago, but that woman had had her life put together, had had nothing to worry about—a total opposite of what she was presently.

Joslyn shook her head, warding off unwanted thoughts. “I... Nicho—Gabriel, I mean.” She stuttered, internally cursing herself for letting the fake name he had given her back then, slip. She looked at him in time to catch something flicker in his eyes but wasn't quick enough to decipher what it was before it disappeared.

Not thinking too much about it, she charged forward. “I don't think we should be having this conversation.” Not now, not ever. She staggered forward, placing her cup on the breakfast bar since she didn't trust her quivering hands.

“You almost called me Nicholas.” He merely said, choosing to ignore the rest.

Joslyn arched a brow at him. “I don't see why that is important.”

“Yeah, well, it damn is,” he grumbled. “It means you remember me. Means thoughts of that night, thoughts of me, have crossed your mind as well quite frequently in the past two years. Yet you could've had me fooled by how you were acting yesterday. Like we were meeting for the first time.”

“We were meeting for the first time, at least officially. I was just getting to know your actual name yesterday and not the fake one you'd given me.”

“Gabriel Nicholas Reid. Nicholas is my middle name and I was merely taking precautions like you were that night, even though you never did give me your full name or correct my pronunciation of it,” he said pointedly.

Joslyn's brows creased in a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Sigourney had always pronounced ‘Jos’ as if saying ‘Josephine’, whereas I've been saying it as you would say ‘just’ without the t and you never deemed it fit to correct me.”

“Oh.” Joslyn's face relaxed in realisation. “I never corrected you because both pronunciations are accurate. Sigourney calls my name with an accent of her own and you do the same. No corrections needed.”

Joslyn inhaled deeply, wondering if she'd woken up on more than the wrong side of the bed today or perhaps, coming home had been a mistake. Who would've thought the next storm piling up with the pending ones would come in form of her one night stand two years ago returning to be her best friend's boyfriend?

With how civil he had been yesterday, Joslyn had thought they'd both internally and unofficially agreed to chuck their encounter in the past where it belonged and she'd been equally ready to forget their first meeting even though memories of their night together had crossed her mind and gotten her off more times in the past two years than she'd like to admit—not that anyone, especially him, needed to know that.

But now that he was here, addressing the issue, it was only serving to complicate things between them.

“But that's beside the point, Nic—Gabriel.” She huffed at her mistake, rewarding his slight victorious smirk with an eye-roll. “The point is we shouldn't be having this conversation. And even if we are, it should be for the purpose of jointly agreeing that that night two years ago? It's all in the past and we're in the present now. A present where you're Sig's boyfriend and I'm her best friend.”

A heavy silence falls over the kitchen, Joslyn's words settling in both their minds. She watched Gabriel as he watched her as well, his hands fisted as they grasped the cup of coffee, his jaw clenched and gaze unreadable.

Joslyn swallowed hard, hoping this man wouldn't make her life more complicated and miserable than it already was. The last thing she wanted and needed was to lose her best friend—the only constant in her life right then—over a man. But said man finally opened his mouth to speak.

“You're right,” he murmured and her shoulders sagged in relief. A shame she would have to find another man to fantasize about when getting off, but this man seated across her was her best friend's boyfriend, thereby now making him off limits.

Joslyn was about to give him an appreciative smile when he spoke again, making the smile freeze on her face. “But that doesn't change the fact that I still desire you, does it?” His gaze bore into her even more as he flexed his hands around the mug before rising to his feet and abandoning his coffee.

Joslyn braced herself, fisting her own hands around the edge of the countertop as Gabriel slowly stalked around the bar toward her.

“That doesn't erase the fact that I've spent the last two years fantasizing about you, that these past two years have been torturous for me because I haven't been able to derive pleasure from any other woman without picturing your face in place of theirs, your body instead of theirs.”

He came to a stop before her, putting a respectable distance between them but he was still close enough for Joslyn to see the turmoil swirling amidst the colors in his orbs, close enough for her to hear his ragged breathing and notice the rise and fall of his broad chest... close enough to see the chained desire in his eyes.

Gabriel spoke through clenched teeth. “It doesn't change any of that, does it?”

Joslyn gulped, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water for a moment as she grappled for the right words. “Gabriel, I—we can't do that. We–we can't betray Sig—”

He suddenly shook his head, taking a step back from her. “I know we can't do that.” His voice came out deep, hoarse, his tone one of frustration. “Do you think I am a man who would cheat on my girlfriend? That is why I'm going mad from trying to rid myself of the constant thoughts of you in my head.

“I'm not here to act on my desires, Jos. If I were, what would be escaping your mouth right now wouldn't be words but moans, screams, from how fucking deep I'd be buried inside you. But I'm trying to keep my distance. I'm fucking trying, Jos.” He finally whipped around to look at her again, the desperation in his eyes knocking the breath out of her.

For long moments, only the echoing stillness of silence filled the kitchen space, save for the rapid rising and falling of the chests of both individuals as they stare unblinkingly into each other's eyes, the tension between them crackling like the embers from a bonfire.

Gabriel is the one to break the silence with a whisper. “So please, make it easier for me.”

After one lingering look at her, Joslyn watched him storm out of her kitchen, the front door closing seconds later. Dazed and utterly perplexed, she settled into one of the barstools, feeling her legs wobble from the rush of the impromptu series of events that had just taken place.

Her unseeing gaze shifted to his abandoned cup on the breakfast bar and the open but unused sugar packet beside it; his coffee remained completely untouched.