Fifty-six.

I can hear Aydems sweet accented voice through my reigns of terror and feel his soft lips trying to bring me back to him.

But it's not enough....

I don't know if it ever will be...

I feel like something is holding me here, like, I'm meant to find some sort of peace within myself.

The sound of Aydems voice quickly fades and his touch is no more. I let out a scream, yanking on the roots of my hair in pure frustration.

But I know he can not hear or save me.

I am stuck in my paralysed body that is nothing but a sleeping vessel to those on the outside.

"What am I meant to do?!" I cry out.

My voice echoes through the darkness and unexpectedly I feel a hand land on my shoulder, shoving me against a hard, unwelcoming wall.

"What..who are you and what do you want?"

'I am your conscious and I am here to tell you that your life is about to get a whole lot harder.' A voice that sounds very much like my own sings.

"My conscious?" I ask perplexed.

'Yes, I am you and you are a part of me. We are one.'

"You said that you have something to tell me?" My voice quivers with uncertainty and I begin to wonder if this is the start of me losing my mind.

'Together we have been abused, treated like shit and used for other peoples sick fantasies. We have also committed murder and even though our mind is still intact, our body and soul has gone rogue.'

Our body and soul has gone rogue?

I don't understand...

"How can we be one if you're making no sense?" I thrash against the invisible force that is imprisoning me.

'Trust me on this Mila. Find yourself before you resurface as you are about to step into a whole new world.'

The voice begins to fade, and I stagger forward, tripping over my own feet.

I wait with bated breath for my body to make contact with the cold, hard ground, but there is nothing and I continue to plunge deeper into a sea of uncertainty.

---

Two Days Later.....

Aydems POV...

I walk into Sandros room, rubbing my eyes with a coffee in my hand and I come to a complete standstill in the doorway.

I internally fist pump the air. I won't have to deal with his early morning tantrum from waking him up.

Today's going to be a good day, I can feel it in my bones.

I watch as Neriman bounces the kid on her hip, he giggles and squeals with his hands waving in the air.

I sigh with relief, gratitude and sorrow at the same time. My sorrow is purely for Neriman. When her Büyük baba [grandfather] took her against her will, telling her that she was a Peker and not just some random hired to be Sedars P.A.

He dropped her off at an unknown location where there was a boot camp for the Mafiya assassins and because she was a female, they removed her reproductive organs.

The female assassins are also known as 'Femme Fatales' they are trained to seduce the Dons into giving them their most private information before they strike and take his life.

By leaving a trail of misery and disaster in their wake and ensuring that there are no diversions or liabilities, Neriman was deprived of the opportunity to begin her own family.

She wanted to leave this life behind along with her twin brother, but when they were forced to do the unthinkable to save Sedar's wife, she stood by Sedar because she loved his wife Mercedes for befriending her the moment they met.

It is why Neriman has become very overprotective of Mercedes and I have a feeling she will be the same with Mila.

She looks up with her cheeks turning a deep shade of red and she tilts her head downwards as she looks away.

I step into the room, exchanging my cup of coffee for Sandro.

I hold him up close to my face as I stare into his eyes that mirror my own. "Günaydın yakışıklı oğlum" I coo with affection.

[Good morning my handsome son.]

Neriman laughs, "You can not say that when he is a spitting image of your younger self." She titters, taking a sip from the cup of coffee.

"I only speak the truth." I flash her abroad grin that reaches my cheeks. "You're good with him." I openly declare to her. "I know you can't have children of your own, but, I do hope you'll consider adopting?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "Maybe one day." She smiles, pinching Sandro's cheek and he falls into a fit of giggles. "I've always wanted to have five children," she begins, looking at me with dreamy eyes as she cradles her cup of coffee. "Two girls and three boys all close in age. I pictured that they'd all grow up to be close and that my sons would be protective of their sisters. And of course, girls being girls, they would only want to date their brothers closest friends." Her eyes begin to glaze over with sadness.

"What is it?" I mumble, sensing the self-doubt that emits from her strong body.

"Ozgar wants to try going through a surrogate first,"

"You're going to pay someone to be a mean baby-making machine?" I say full of light-hearted sarcasm.

She doesn't smile.

She simply stares at me, her face filled with an abundance of misery.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" I gingerly slip my arm around her shoulder and draw her in towards me, taking care not to spill her coffee.

She lets out a small frustrated groan. "I'm afraid he will fall in love with her and out of love with me." She whispers with shame. "I'm not a real woman without my uterus."

I kiss her on top of the head. "He loves you too much to even look at another woman with bedroom eyes," I state honestly. "I've seen the way he looks at you when you walk into the room, it's like everything that surrounds him fades away into the distant background and you're all that remains."

I should know; it is how I felt the moment I saw Mila on her hands and knees assisting the mailman in retrieving his letters in my building's lobby.

She rolls her eyes heavenward, "If you say so dear cousin." She laughs, stepping out from under my arm and walks towards the door.

She pauses, looking at me over her shoulder "Oh, I believe it is about time I roused Mila. I am going to go out and purchase the necessary herbs. I hope you have prepared a speech informing her that you are leaving the country with or without her until Castello is located."