Chapter 34

I woke up to the light feel of sparks running up and down my spine. I slowly opened my eyes and realized that I was still lying on Justin’s chest. He appeared to be wide awake from what I could tell.

I heard my phone ping on the table and I ignored it. After about five minutes, it pinged several more times. Fuck. I guess I can’t ignore it now.

I groaned, rolling over to grab my phone. I unlocked my phone and realized that I had several messages from my dad and Michael. I looked at the time.

Fuck. I overslept.

I missed training.

I opened up the mind-link and reached for my father’s tether, ‘Alpha, I am sorry. I overslept. I was tired and I guess I forgot to set the alarms before falling asleep.’

‘I was just worried about you, Kat. I understand you did need your rest, which is why I did not mind-link you. Do you know where Justin is though? I tried to link him several times, but he had his block up and he isn’t responding to his phone either. The last time anyone saw him was when Michael took his spot for patrol.’

I looked over at Justin before I responded to my dad. ‘I am sorry…Justin stayed the night in my room with me. I couldn’t sleep and it was the only way that I could sleep. It was like the bond had been demanding for him, so when he isn’t here, I can’t rest. I can’t sleep. I didn’t know that he put up his block and was ignoring his phone, I had just woken up when I had linked you.’

‘It is okay, Kat. Just as long as you are safe and protected. We just wanted to make sure Justin was alright. Let him know when he gets the chance, he needs to check in with me. I have something I need to talk with him about.’

After promising my father I would tell Justin, I shut the link down. I looked up at Justin and I smiled softly. He had his eyes closed, but I could tell that he was not asleep.

“Thank you for staying with me. My dad asked me to have you link him later when you have time. He said you needed to check in and there was something he needed to talk to you about.”

I continued lying on his chest, not willing to get up, but I knew we needed to have this conversation. I just did not know how to start it...I did not know what to even say. I still had the fear that he would leave me when he learned the truth…

We continued to lie there in silence. He continued stroking my back and I basked in the feel of the tingles and sparks running along my spine.

“What’s on your mind, love? I can tell you are thinking about something hard. I can almost feel the wheels turning in your head.” He finally asked me.

I looked up into his eyes. “I was actually thinking about the conversation we needed to have…but I am scared…”

“What does my big strong Alpha have to fear? You took on ten of us yesterday without blinking and now having a conversation with me scares you.” I giggled at him. I guess when he put it that way, I was sort of being ridiculous.

“I am scared of your reaction, but more importantly, I am scared of your rejection. I am scared you will realize that I am truly broken…and then you will leave me since I won’t be worth your time or energy anymore.” As I said that, I hid my face in his chest.

He sighed exasperated and grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him. When he spoke next, he spoke slowly, enunciating each word, “How many times do I need to tell you, I will not leave you because of your past. I can’t leave you. You are all I want. All I think about Kataleya. Please give me the chance to prove you wrong. Every time you think negatively of me and my intentions towards you, it hurts. I just want you to believe what I am saying for once. I will not leave, no matter how dark your secret is.”I

I sat up and stared at my vanity across the table…If I am going to do this, I might as well do it now.

“You are right. I have not been very fair to you…You have done nothing to warrant my distrust…so here goes nothing.”

I couldn’t look him in the eyes when I spoke next, instead I continued starting at my vanity. “I was twelve…Oliver had invited me to a party in the Crimson Sun pack, which is the pack that is next to us. I didn’t want to go, but I did not want to disappoint Oliver. He told me Michael was going to this party too. What felt like every month, the Alpha heir from the Crimson Sun pack was throwing a party and usually most of the teens from my pack were invited and it was supposed to be considered an honor to be invited….the party itself was considered to be exclusive.

After much begging, I told him that I would go, but first I had to complete some of my homework that I had accidentally let pile up... I was a boring child, I really just wanted to focus on my studies and training. At that time, I thought I would not be Alpha, so what I could do with my life was in the air. I knew that if I wanted to get into a decent college, then I needed to have outstanding grades, which I did. I knew that I would have a share in my father’s companies, but I did not want that to be my only legacy. At the time, I planned to go to school for a business degree with a minor in law. Simple, right?

Anyway, it was a quiet night. The Alpha and Luna did not monitor us too closely. They just didn’t want us doing anything that could negatively reflect on them or the pack, which we understood, even though sometimes teenagers would be teenagers. I was running behind that night because I had lost track of time. I had sent Oliver a text and told him that I was running behind and that he could go ahead and head there without me. I would be there when I got the chance. An hour. That’s what I told him. Give me one hour and I will be there.

He agreed, so I finished getting ready and left my house. I made it outside our territory and to the part between the two packs that were considered “No Man’s Land.” I should have called Michael or Oliver or even asked my parents to give me a ride that night. They would have. Maybe if I was wearing something different. Or if I was better during training nothing would have happened to me.

I had an uneasy feeling. I felt as if I was being watched. I then heard a twig snap and I whipped around and saw three males step out from the protection of the trees…Rogues. I was trapped by three rogues. I did the only thing I could do was run. I ran like my life depended on it. Unfortunately, that night I had chosen to wear some heels…the more I think about it, the more I think that my parents should not have allowed me to leave the house in what I was wearing…It was like I was asking for it.

I continued running until, unfortunately, my heel got caught on something in the ground. I fell and rolled. The rogues caught up to me…” I stopped talking to catch my breath and I started to hyperventilate. A panic attack. That is what I was having. It has been so long since I have had to delve into my trauma aloud…Fuck, I hated this…I didn’t want to look into his eyes. I think he knows where this is going…I don’t want to see disgust or hatred in his eyes.

Justin wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. He whispered soothing words about how it was alright and nothing would get to me with him here. Goddess, I wished I could believe him. “They threw me on the ground when I went to stand up. One of them began taunting me…He ripped my shirt and skirt off, leaving me in a bra and panties, while the other two held me down…They took turns fucking me…” I heard his intake of breath and his hands slightly loosened from around me. “I screamed until I was hoarse…no one was coming…the worse part was I wasn’t even that far from the Crimson Sun pack. I was right there, maybe five more minutes and then I would have been within their territory. They continued to fuck me and torment me…I tried fighting them off in the beginning, but my attempts were futile. Nothing I was doing was stopping them. Oliver and Michael finally showed up. After I had missed the time, I told Oliver I would be there. Plus, I wasn’t answering any messages, so Oliver had freaked out and went to Michael and asked him to help him look for me…They were the ones that found me…According to Michael and Oliver, that image was forever ingrained into their memories and for the longest afterwards, they were having nightmares about what they saw, what I looked like…The only people that knew from the pack were those at the pack hospital and the ranked members. It was kept quiet. I didn’t want anyone to know about my shame…From that moment on, I had changed. I stopped talking to people. I was highly popular at school, with other pack members, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t put up the façade…so I withdrew from everyone. I sunk into a deep depression. My father made me attend therapy, but I stopped it by the time I was 14 because it was not helping me…”

Justin’s hands fell off of me the longer I continued to speak. There. I told him the truth. I finally gathered the courage to look him in his eyes…Anger and hatred. That was all I saw when I looked into his eyes…