Chapter 36
**Kataleya’s POV**
Today has been a roller coaster. Justin and I stayed in my room most of the day. Michael decided that he would have the kitchen send food up to my room. Justin had patrol since he had agreed to take Colton’s shift this week while he was on leave. He told me he would be done by midnight, if I wanted him to come back to my room.
I was lying in bed contemplating the direction my life had taken. If you had asked me the day before my birthday if I thought I would have found my mate on my birthday, I would have said that you were crazy. If someone told me that I would come to mostly accept him and tell him my darkest secrets, I would have laughed in your face…
Now, I can’t see what I would have done without Justin. I legit thought he was going to hate me for my past, for no longer being pure, but he assured me that he didn’t hate me and that he wasn’t mad at me...
That was a relief.
I know I should not be tired. Shit, I slept for almost half the day in Justin’s arms. I lay in bed and before I knew it my eyes were closing.
I am being chased in the forest. I stumbled through the forest when I heard the sounds of footsteps behind me. I pushed myself to run faster, harder. I don’t want to be caught in this again….This can’t happen to me again…
I am happy…My mate wants me, despite my trauma.
Fuck…
It seemed no matter how hard I pushed myself, they were still gaining on me. I heard the laughter of the first one, followed by the second one mocking me for not being able to get away, and the third one was silent…Deadly silent.
I stumbled over another log in the middle of the forest floor and it allowed the first one enough leverage to catch up and tackle me to the ground…He is holding me down as the other two begin clawing at my clothes, ripping them off me.
“No! Stop! Please! Help me!” I yelled. I kept yelling until I was hoarse. No one was coming. I was alone. I will always be alone. I continued yelling, hoping and praying that someone was going to come for me….
“Kat! Kataleya! Baby, wake up. It is just a dream.”
I woke up, startled. My cheeks felt wet. I slowly raised my fingers and felt the moisture on my cheeks. I felt the instant tingle of the sparks running along my arms. Justin was here.
“Shhh…It is okay baby, I got you.” Justin’s soft voice was whispering to me.
I looked up into his bright forest green eyes. As soon as I saw the concern in his eyes, I started to sob. The tears started to roll and they continued rolling. Justin continued rubbing my arms, sides, and back. He was whispering that everything was going to be okay and that he would not let anything ever happen to me like that again. He reminded me repeatedly that I was more than my trauma.
After thirty minutes, I started to calm down and the sobs turned into dull hiccups.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Justin asked me quietly.
I nodded my head. Now that he knows about my trauma, I can tell him about the dreams. So, I started from the beginning. I told him about therapy when I was growing up. I told him about the dreams that have only since gotten worse. I confessed about the pills that I usually take in order to sleep and push away some of my darker thoughts. I confessed how I have not been taking the pills at night, so the dreams have returned, full swing. Unfortunately, I don’t like taking the pills because they make me feel fun, but the doctor warned me about that. She did tell me that it would hit the point that my body becomes used to their effects. The past couple of months, it felt that I needed to take more and more in order to feel alright, in order to sleep in peace.
The entire time I was talking, he listened intently. I could tell that he wanted to interject several times, but he didn’t. He continued letting me talk until I told him everything that I had done since I was attacked.
When I finally finished, he was quiet for a second. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? I understand why you never came to me…we were not close, not for my lack of trying. Your parents, Oliver, Michael, Elijah, the Betas, the Gammas…someone would have done something to help you, love. They would have found something that did not involve the therapy that you hated...or where you did not have to resort to the medications that you could have overdosed on.”
“…I did not want to feel weak. I did not want to see the look of pity on their faces. After my attack, I could barely talk to my mom without her crying…my father gave me a look of pity. I could tell Michael and Oliver only saw the girl that they found on the ground that was broken, that had her innocence stolen from her. Elijah was the only one that did not look at me like that. He treated me the same as he always did. He was younger than me, so he did not understand what had happened to me, which I guess for me was a good thing. He later found out after I had woken him up one night because of my screaming from a nightmare. From that moment on, Elijah tried his hardest not to treat me as if I was fragile and going to break. I know the rest of my family and even the other ranked members don’t mean to do it, they still are treating me like I am fragile…I didn’t want them to be proven right just because the nightmares haven’t gone away.”
I looked at him and I could tell that my eyes were glistening. I didn’t want to cry in front of him again. I held back the tears as hard as I could.
“Baby…I hate to see you hurting. I hate it even more to see that you do not believe that you do not have anyone in your corner…when the reality is I am in your corner, your family is in your corner, the ranked members are in your corner. You just have to let us in. Can you try to promise me something?”
I slowly nodded my head.
“Will you try to let me in? Let me help you? Let me help you get rid of these awful memories and move past them…Let you get a full nights rest without worrying about what sort of dreams you are going to have. I promise I will not make you go sit with a therapist. I will be your therapist if I need to…just please do not hide from me. I will be what you need me to be.”
I nodded my head at him.
“Good.” He was silent for a moment. “Are you ready to talk about how we are going to handle us going forward?”
I was quiet. I am not ready to tell everyone about us, even though I am sure, after the challenges, everyone pretty much suspects what is happening between us. Not to mention, Christopher outright knows that he is my mate.
“I am not ready to tell everyone about us. However, I would not mind you staying with me. The nightmares are worse when I am alone. For the most part, when you are with me they aren’t too bad, besides that first night I asked you to stay with me. I am still wrapping my head around the concept of us. Plus, I am not ready to be bombarded by the pack…but, we can tell our family…if you want.”
He smiled gently at me. “I would like that, love. I would love to stay with you. I have a house that is being prepared for me in town…we can either stay there, or we can stay here. It doesn’t matter. I am sure neither one of us wants to stay at our parents’ house. I know how the Alpha is when it comes to the pack princess.” I giggled with him. He is right. I really don’t want to stay with either of our parents. “I don’t mind keeping it from everyone right now. What we do in our life is none of their concern. I will admit that it has been sort of hard keeping it from my family. Although, I am sure my father suspects something after the challenge. I have been avoiding him, so we don’t have to talk about how I reacted when Gael was coming at you. I don’t have patrol tomorrow. Would you like to do something? I can take you out for dinner or we can go tell our families...it is up to you what we do and don’t do.”
“That sounds like it would be fun. I would like that. If you want, maybe we can tell our families tomorrow and still maybe go into the human town for dinner or a movie?”
“We can do that. I will plan something for us…I don’t want you to have to worry about any of the minor details. I will take care of everything. Let’s lie down and go to sleep. We need to be up early for your training. I am sure the Alpha isn’t going to let you or me miss another day of training.”
He has a point. Dad would be pissed if I missed another day of training. Mate or no mate. He let it slide today, but he is not usually that lenient.
I laid down next Justin. He kissed the back of my head and I smiled softly at the gesture. I fell asleep thinking about how lucky I actually was to have Justin in my life.
