Chapter 9

**Kataleya’s POV**

I was lying on my bed when there was a knock on the door, followed by Michael opening my door. This has become his nightly routine. He comes into my room each night before bed and checks on me to make sure that I am alright. Tonight, though, feels different. He wasn’t in his normal clothes, he actually looked like he just got done rolling in the mud, which I guess is possible with the way his wolf acts.

“You alright Kat?” he asked me as he walked into my room and propped himself on the nightstand by my bed.

“Yeah, I have just been thinking and trying to do some homework. What movie did you go see? Was it any good?”

“Um…well, actually I decided not to go to the movies. Justin ended up cancelling, so most of us did our own thing. I decided to let Grey out and go for a run. He has been begging me to be let out for a couple of days, but I am usually too busy to be able to let loose and go for a run just for the hell of it.”

I giggled. That makes sense. His wolf constantly wants to be let out, which isn’t unusual. Most wolves do. I am glad that he was able to have some alone time, which he usually doesn’t get when he was training to be the next Alpha.

Once Michael left my room, I walked to my bathroom and grabbed my bottle of antidepressants, anxiety medication, and my sleep aides. My parents don’t know that I have been taking them and I don’t plan to let them know. The nightmares have hit an all-time high. I lied to my parents the first year after the attack and told them that I was fine and the nightmares had finally stopped, but the truth was I was too ashamed to admit that I was still suffering and struggling. So, I resorted to the next best thing. I went to the pack doctor and told her that, because of client-patient confidentiality, she was not allowed to tell anyone about the pills that she had prescribed to me. I assured her that I was pretty much fine, but I just needed something to take off some of the edge, which she said she understood. I even keep a bottle of the anxiety pills on me at all times, just in case I have a random panic attack when I am not at my house. Usually, I can feel the darkness of depression, or the sinking feeling of anxiety starting to creep in when I am out in public. When I get those feelings, I make some excuse to excuse myself from what I am doing and go to the Alpha floor, if I can make it, in the packhouse, and I take the pills and pray they help me before I feel the feelings of helplessness and despair begin to sink in. I don’t leave the room until I feel back to normal, like you couldn’t even tell that there was something wrong with me not even five minutes ago.

I take my pills, lay down in my bed, and slowly begin to drift into unconsciousness…

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I am running through the woods, and I am being chased by three wolves. Smell like rogues. I keep running until I feel my lungs heaving, but I keep pushing myself further, struggling to stay ahead of the men that are chasing me. I know what will happen when they catch me, and no amount of fighting will be able to save me from this punishment. This pain. The pain I will feel when they inevitably catch me. I stumbled over a fallen log, and I lost some of my momentum. I fell to the ground after hearing a crack in my ankle. I hurriedly got up and continued running before they could catch me.

“Fuck,” I yelled. The pain that I feel in my ankle from my near fall is horrendous. I can already tell that I probably broke or fractured my ankle in at least two spots, and I needed to set it before it healed. My foot gets snagged on a log and I start to fall forward. My body instinctually tuck my body into a ball, so that I roll instead of falling face first.

I screamed as I felt rough hands grab me from behind. “Leave me the fuck alone filthy rogues.” I was tossed onto the ground, my shirt snagging on a branch. The first rogue grabbed my pants and ripped them from my body. The second rogue shredded my shirt, ripping my bra off in the process. The third rogue grabbed my hands and held them above my head. I was continuously screaming, hoping that someone was nearby to hear me. I didn’t want to go like this. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

As the first rogue was spreading my legs, preparing to enter me, I heard another voice somewhere in the distance.

“Kataleya, wake up. You are okay. Come back to us Kat. We are here for you. You can do it. Come on Kat.” The voice was whispering to me.

I sat straight up in bed. My sheets were covered in my sweat. My hair was sticking to my head. My clothes were soaked to my body. My body was shaking. I could hear my heart racing as I tried to control it. Michael was gripping my arms and as soon as I sat up, he yanked me over to him, and began to crush me in a giant hug. As soon as Michael started to hold me, I began to sob. Relentlessly sob. It had been months since I had a dream that was like that. I was terrified. Scared. Michael continued to hold me while I cried.

By the time that my crying had turned into small whimpers, the sun was starting to peek through my curtains. Michael stayed in my room with me the rest of the night. And he called Oliver over, hoping that Ollie would be able to comfort me. He held me in his arms the rest of the night as I cried, and Michael was rubbing my back. They didn’t say anything, just held me, which I was extremely grateful for.

Oliver finally breaks the silence, “Are you going to tell us what that was about or are you going to let us guess what caused that?”

I remained silent. I didn’t want to tell them. If I told them about the lingering trauma, I was worried they would go to dad and tell him. Then, dad would make me start going back to therapy, but therapy wasn’t helping.

“Come on Kat, you have to tell us something. I was woken up in the middle of the night by your screams. When I ran in here, you were thrashing with tears running down your face. It took me ten minutes to wake you up. You are lucky mom, dad, or Elijah didn’t wake up from it. If you tell me, I promise I will not tell dad about it. I won’t tell him about the dream and Oliver won’t either,” Michael pleaded. Ollie nodded his head and agreed to what Michael had said.

‘Maybe it is time we told them what is going on, Kat. We can’t keep doing this. We have been staying up at night to prolong having to sleep and the chance of a dream. You have been drowning yourself in pills, which isn’t good for us either, love. Especially since it takes more than a normal dosage for it to affect you since you are an Alpha wolf. Please let them help.’ My poor wolf has been suffering through these dreams with me. She used to be the one that comforted me when I would wake up, reminding me that I was safe, reminding me that I had guards that were assigned to me that would never let anything happen to me. Skye once told me that when she felt the beginnings of the dream start in my subconscious, she would try to talk me out of the dream, but it was as if she didn’t exist anymore. I couldn’t hear her. Even in my dream, I couldn’t feel her.

Here goes nothing…

“I have been having dreams about what happened to me. Always the same rogues, always takes place in the woods, usually I wear a different outfit each time, and I am usually heading to do something. The dreams always take place before I got Skye, so it is even harder to defend myself,” I whispered.