CHAPTER 40: She’s Gone

DARREN’s P.O.V.

I ran as fast as I could not bothering to get a cab or something for I have nothing but an empty pocket. I just continue running towards the path of her house, hoping that somehow like a miracle, I could see her angelic face again.

I was running like a mad man, until I finally reached their home. The gates and doors are locked, windows are sealed and you can’t see any bright lights inside.

“Claire!” I shouted, waiting for the impossible to happen. “Please open up! I’m here! Please forgive me... I’m sorry...” I trailed off, clutching the bars of their gates.

I felt my heart ached as soon as I remember her face the day that she bid her final goodbyes to me. Her heart was badly wounded, and it was all because of me. Sometimes I thought that I should’ve just listen to her at the first place and didn’t cause her any of this pain.

I slowly sat down on the cold ground, resting my back and head at the walls of their fences. What will I do now? She’s already gone. I can’t reverse the time and apologized to her before she leave. Tears started to stream down on my cheeks as soon as I realized what I have done. She’s never coming back... She’s just fulfilling my request...

“Excuse me? Are you okay?” I looked up when I heard someone.

I looked at her, she’s a small woman carrying a basket of fruits. And what the hell is she doing here outside during the night? Something bad could happen in this small village.

“I’m fine... Just... Leave me alone, please,” I stated coldly, almost pleading to her.

“Are you sure you wanted to be alone? Why are you here, anyways?”

“Is this your idea of small talk?” I asked sarcastically.

“Uhm... Just answer my question, please.”

Frankly, I wanted to just leave but my heart was still hoping to see the lady of my dreams in here. Whoever this lady was, I don’t freaking care.

“Mind your own business.”

“Yeah, whatever. Why do you need to be so rude? I’m just asking.”

An idea suddenly popped into my mind. I grabbed that chance to return the favor and ask her some questions as well. Maybe she knew something about Claire, just maybe. Maybe it’s her purpose to come and tell me some information about her, since she live closely to this area.

“Sorry. But, do you know someone who lived in this house before?” I pointed to my back.

“Oh, Teacher Claire and her family. Her sister, Alexa, was very close to my younger cousins. Why do you asked?”

“Do you know where she is right now?” I asked, hopefully.

“I can’t remember...” My shoulder dropped in dismay. “But one of my cousins told me that Alexa is moving to some place with snow. I just don’t know where.”

That information was really helpful. But please note the sarcasm. There are hundreds of countries and thousands of states that is covered by snow during winter. How can I make sure which one I could find my love? Now I just lost the last string of hope that I’m holding into.

“Are you crying? I’m sorry, mister. But I couldn’t remember the exact place...”

I just smiled at her before I started to walk away, not wanting to hurt myself some more by hoping for nothing. I got inside of my car, drove to the club thinking that maybe this could lessen the burden in my heart.

I tried to dialed Elijah’s number for a several times, but he didn’t answer. Maybe he’s resting after the long, stressful day we all have seen at the church earlier. Even I couldn’t believe to myself the I’ve done something like that. I ran away from my own wedding day.

I chuckled to myself, while pouring an ounce of liquor to my glass. That night, I decided to drunk myself in order to forget about my problems. To kick those pain away from my system. Every bitter taste of alcohol that passes by my throat seems so very surreal. I was wrong. I couldn’t forget her. I thought that is what will happen when I wasted myself. But it’s not. I only remembered everything, including our happy memories together.

After intoxicating myself, I drove home. Thankfully, nothing bad happened to me. I decided to finish my drinking activity here, at our mansion. Not knowing the reason why, but I felt safe in here. And if ever I slept, I’m sure it’s going to be just fine. Our maids wouldn’t mind because it’s our house anyways.

“Darren...”

I gasped, shocked for a moment after seeing my Dad sitting at the chair in front of our mini bar. But the surprise slowly faded away as I remembered what happened earlier. Maybe he’s here to scold me after what I have done to his best friend’s daughter.

“Dad... I’m sorry...”

“For what, son? You only did what you think is the best for everyone. I’m far beyond proud for what you’ve done. Not because you hurt Kate, but because you chose to love over your money and power... I’m so glad for having you as my child...”

I looked down, not wanting him to see me in my tears. But after a few seconds, I felt his hand’s weight on my shoulder, so I slowly lift up my face.

“D-dad... She’s gone, Dad... I can’t see her again... I made a big mistake... I’m sorry, Dad... I don’t know what to do...”

I cried in front of him, like a child wanting to tell his father the whole story behind everything. The story of my regret. Instead of answering, he just hug me very tight. I gripped onto him, afraid that I might fall if I didn’t hold on tight.

“Don’t cry, son... I’m sure you’ll find her. Love is patient... If you really wanted to see her, your heart will find a way to it’s home. You’ll wait for that day...”

His words sink deep into my heart. He’s right. I need to be patient. That’s the only thing that I can do for now except of searching for her of course. Dad looked at me seriously, his brows are still arched in worried.

“Look, son. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. Don’t let her go... Like what I’ve done to your mother...”

I wiped my tears away as soon as I heard him say those words. My Mom? He let her go? Why? I thought their relationship was already starting to broke down when we leave the country?

“W-what do y-you mean?” I asked, confused.

“It’s time for you to find out the truth... Your Mom and I... We didn’t really plan to get a divorce or something. When she found out that she’s sick, she didn’t tell me about it right away. I only knew about it a year after... She pleaded, son... She kneeled down in front of me and begged for me to do it... She wanted me to take you away from her so that you couldn’t see her sufferings... And even though it hurts me as well, I made a decision and I choose to protect you from the hurtful truth, Darren... I’m sorry.”

Now it’s his turn to sob in front of me. I couldn’t believe it. I blame him after all those years thinking that he’s the reason why we left Mom behind. But in fact, he’s hurting too. He just didn’t want me to see it.

“I’m sorry, Dad... I’m so sorry for blaming you...” I hugged him once again.

“Please don’t apologized, son. I did that to save and protect you from all the pain. That’s my fault, and letting you blame me for all those years was just a part of my sacrifice... Now I don’t want you to suffer just like what you did before... So please, fix everything. Bring your wife back home, son.”

My heart melted as I heard those words coming from him. I nodded, feeling more determined now more than ever. The unconsciousness caused by the amount of liquor I drank earlier has now faded away.

My system is now filled with determination and hope, at this moment that I know that my father is just by my side and supporting me. I’ll find Claire. I’ll find my wife whatever happens and even how long it will takes. I’ll wait for her. That’s the real epitome of love for me.