A Reason To Live(Jessie's Diary)

Elena's Pov.:

So that was how it was for Leo? I asked myself as I read through the diary in his handwriting. As I read through, I realized he and his father weren't even that close. They might claim to live under the same roof but Leo barely lived with him. They had never discussed a man-to-man sort of discussion. They were so distant from each other and that was what was pissing Leo off. It turned out that the only meaningful connection that they had was the mafia business he had taken control of temporarily. Anything aside that just didn't sit well with Leo. In as much as he was tough, he wanted a father as well. But his father wasn't able to give him the kind of love that he wanted even as a son, he was always too hard on him.

***To say today is awful was an understatement, my father after all these years finally had the guts to speak to me on the phone. And what had I expected, all he talked about was business, he was obsessed with his business, he could do just anything to save the business. He abandoned his family for his business. He made business his top priority, he brought business first in everything he did, and here he was speaking to me, about business.

I internally groaned in frustration. It shouldn't have surprised me when he'd said I was getting married, but it did. And it was all business. He didn't even care about his family's well-being. He didn't care about his wife or his kids, he didn't give a damn about them, all that mattered was what he wanted. Sometimes I hated the fact that I was born into a mafia family because we always had to pick something above our family. And God help us, the team doesn't demand that we kill every single one of our families. If it was so, then every mafia would do so even if it ended up with them killing themselves.

My mum, as I had noticed, couldn't live a day without trying to speak with my dad. The last time they both had spoken was eight months ago. And my mum craved my dad's attention. Yeah, I could see it. Her expression displayed everything she was feeling. Even though she tried to put on a smile a few times. But she couldn't hide how she felt away from us.

"What do you mean by marriage? At this age, what do you take me for Dad? A tool you can use for your own advantage?"

"It's business we're talking about here Leo."

"Well had I not expected that?" I calmly stated, sarcasm evident in my voice.

"You will address me with respect, young man." I scoffed at his words.

"I'm not five Dad, and all you ever talk about is business. Have you ever stopped to think of your family, and the attention they'll need from you? Have you ever stopped to think about Mum?"

Silence

"That's what I thought."

"You don't understand son."

"Understand what Dad? Why you place business and mafia over your own family?" I was getting pissed but still remained calm while I spoke to him. There was another moment of silence between us.

"If you don't go on with this marriage Leo, you'll leave me no choice than to force you to do it." He said.

"I'm not getting married, Dad, whether you like it or not." My blood boiled. He never called all these while to know how his family was doing. And now that he called, I was informed about something I never wanted to find myself in. The idea of marriage never once slipped into my mind, not ever. Getting married to someone I've never seen, spoken to, or even known about at all bothered me a lot. But I made my statement clear, I wasn't getting married.

"Fine." He said and hung up before I could reply.

"Leo, was that your dad?" My mum questioned, as she walked out with her enormous belly, and a loose multicoloured gown. She settled down on one of the couches as she stared at me with eyes I knew craved for his presence again. I deeply loved my mother and hated the way she had to feel rejected every day because of his absence, even in her condition. She didn't deserve it.

"Yes," I replied, reluctantly.

"What did he say?"

What was I going to tell her? 'He says I'm to get married anytime soon, to someone I have no clue about.' If it was that easy, but no, it would bother her, and I didn't want that.

"He called to check on how we are doing." I lied, obviously, but it wasn't a lie to my mum. She seemed rather confused and astonished, but she didn't push further instead she said;

"I'm glad he created time to check on us." Her lips curved into a smile, and I smiled back. But I knew from what I sensed that Lorna, my sister, wasn't buying my lie at all. She stood behind the kitchen wall all the while and was oblivious that I knew all along. But I knew she wouldn't spill a word to our mother. She probably would have noticed I lied to keep our mum from feeling more hurt. As a ten, but nearly eleven-year-old girl, she was too smart for her age.***

I was more than stunned that Leo had a family. A complete family. He had a father, mother, sister and then another sibling coming soon? I had to say that he was so blessed to have had a complete family because some of us could only wish our cases were like that even when we knew it could never be. We would never know what it feels like to have a father and mother who live completely non-abusive lives. I considered all of them fortunate. But Leo never talked about them though. I just hoped they were all safe.