#668 - I don't blame you

The Milky Way arched across the sky, the moon was full, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of the night.

Just as Liang Qin was wondering why her period was late, Wei Changtian had already arrived outside Yang Liushi's secluded courtyard.

He stood outside the house, watching the candlelight within, for a while before taking a deep breath and stepping forward.

"Knock, knock, knock."

He crossed the small courtyard and knocked on the door.

The sound of turning pages inside stopped abruptly, and soon the familiar voice rang out.

"Xiaoyue, what is it?"

Clearly, Yang Liushi had mistaken him for the serving maid.

"Ahem, it's me."

Wei Changtian coughed lightly, hearing the sound of cabinets opening and closing inside the room, and soon the door in front of him was slowly opened.

"Aren't you going to negotiate with Yan Huaiqing tomorrow? Why are you here so late?"

"So you do know that I'm going to negotiate tomorrow."

Wei Changtian teased deliberately, "Then why haven't you shown any concern these past few days?"

"It's not that I didn't want to, but I couldn't find you."

Yang Liushi wasn't annoyed, smiling as she walked to the table to pour water for Wei Changtian: "Besides, with Young Master Chu here, surely nothing will go wrong with this negotiation."

"So you've been cooped up in your room reading all day?"

Wei Changtian curled his lip, casually picking up an ancient book from the table.

The book was clearly very old, the title on the cover blurred beyond recognition, and its contents were incomplete.

Wei Changtian casually flipped through a few pages, and although it was difficult to read, he could tell that it was not a military treatise, but rather an ancient medical book.

"A medical book? What are you reading this for?"

After glancing at the other books on the table, realizing that they were all medical books, Wei Changtian couldn't help but be surprised: "What? Are you trying to study medicine?"

"Hehe, I'm just doing it on a whim."

Yang Liushi smiled, taking the ancient book, closing it, and carefully putting it away: "Anyway, I'm just bored, so I'm finding something to do to pass the time."

"Really?"

Wei Changtian frowned, sensing that Yang Liushi was deliberately hiding something.

"If you really want to study medicine, just study it, you don't have to hide it."

"Besides, reading these medical books on your own isn't the right way to learn. Why don't I find a highly skilled doctor in Liangzhou to teach you?"

"There's no need."

Yang Liushi shook her head, interrupting earnestly: "Young Master, I'm really just looking at them casually."

"..."

Looking at Yang Liushi, Wei Changtian was stunned for a moment.

Of course, he remembered why he had come tonight, so in the end, he didn't pursue the matter of the medical books, but slowly walked to the table and sat down, bringing the topic to the main issue.

"Liushi."

"I have something I want to discuss with you."

"..."

The candlelight flickered slightly, and the room fell silent.

Wei Changtian was racking his brains, trying to figure out how to say it.

But Yang Liushi quickly understood, gently shaking her head.

"Young Master, you don't need to say it, I understand everything."

"This is not my ancestor's fault, nor is it your fault."

"Blame only myself for being a demon."

"I've thought about it long ago. If it weren't for you, I would have died when Xiao Feng captured me in the Shiwandashan, how could I have lived to this day?"

"So, my only wish in this life is to be able to stay by your side forever."

"As for everything else, compared to not being able to bear a child for you, I would rather not see you, because of me, because of this child, becoming unhappy with those close to you, or even despised by the people of the world."

"Young Master, I am just a small demon from the Shiwandashan, and it was because of you that I saw the prosperity of this world, and understood what love is."

"The ancients said that husband and wife should support each other and share weal and woe."

"Young Master has done so much for me, even if I can't help you, at least I can avoid being a burden to you."

"Young Master, don't forget that you still have Wan'er, Qin'er, and Yao'er sister."

"If one day I really give birth to your child, but it can't be named Wei... what would they think then?"

"Young Master, I don't want to one day not know how to face them, I don't want to be secretly criticized by the servants in the house, and I don't want to have to leave you one day."

"For this, I can give up everything..."

Speaking to this point, Yang Liushi paused.

The moon was full, its light bright, the silver glow spilling onto her body, and also onto Wei Changtian's body.

Yang Liushi turned her head to look at the full moon outside the window, softly saying:

"People have sorrows and joys, separations and reunions, the moon has its phases of waxing and waning, this matter has been difficult to perfect since ancient times."

"Young Master, I truly understand this poem now."

"In this world, there will never be a moon that is full every night, nor will there be people who are satisfied with everything."

"So, I am already content."

"Really..."

"..."

Sad wind comes from the end of the sky, the round moon flows with light.

Under the bright river's shadow, still see a few scattered stars.

Staring blankly at Yang Liushi, listening to her words... Wei Changtian didn't know what to say for a moment.

What should be said, what could be said, Yang Liushi had already said.

And since she could say these things so calmly, it meant that she must have thought about it for a long time.

These words even sounded more like she was persuading him not to feel too guilty...

You still have Xu Qingwan, Liang Qin, and Lu Jingyao, and perhaps in the future, there will be other wives and concubines.

They can all carry on your family line, so whether I can do this or not is not important.

Furthermore, if we really have a child in the future, the Wei family's attitude towards this child is likely to expose my identity in front of more people, which may lead to me having to leave you.

I don't want to leave you, and I don't want to endure the strange looks of the world, so I would rather not have this child.

This is my own choice, and it has nothing to do with you.

As it is now, I am already very content...

Whether Yang Liushi was truly "content" was unknown for the time being, but she did say so, and her purpose must have been to dispel the guilt in Wei Changtian's heart.

For this, she even recited the line "People have sorrows and joys, separations and reunions, the moon has its phases of waxing and waning", using the poem that Wei Changtian himself "created" to reassure him.

However...

As Yang Liushi's words implied, even if she could not bear an heir for Wei Changtian, it would not affect the latter's ability to be a father.

But borrowing the phrase that Little Xu had said to Wei Changtian before, "I only have you", this kind of comfort was undoubtedly based on "sacrificing" herself.

After all, for Yang Liushi, she only had Wei Changtian.

And this meant that she would never be able to be a mother again.

It is true that people have sorrows and joys, separations and reunions, and the moon has its phases of waxing and waning.

But one should know that the moon should be round every month, how can such a lifelong regret be compared to the moon?

Wei Changtian naturally understood this, so he felt very uncomfortable in his heart.

What's more, he hadn't come today to persuade Yang Liushi to "understand the greater good", but just wanted to discuss with her how to make their future child acceptable to the Wei family.

Therefore, he was stunned for a moment before quickly wanting to say something.

However, before he could say a word, Yang Liushi suddenly lowered her head, and preemptively said softly:

"Young Master, you have important things to do tomorrow, you should rest early tonight."

"I'm a little tired, so I won't see you off."

"No, Liushi, I actually..."

"Young Master."

"Go, go back..."