Chapter 53

That night, I turned the key I’d received from the reception desk in the door and stepped into my dorm room. It was sparse—just a bed, a small table, a lamp, and a bookshelf.

I threw myself onto the bed and stared listlessly at the ceiling, watching the pale moonlight softly illuminate the room.

The endless energy of the day had been replaced by the silence of night. Which I supposed was for the best.

I tried to clear my mind, but the same strange numbness from that morning returned, as if my body instinctively rejected this place.

Truthfully, sometimes I wondered if I was even the same person. From Auntie Shira appearing in those fragmented dreams to these strange phenomenons; It felt as if something was inside me, silently guiding my thoughts and actions.

Hoping that a hot shower might help wash some of the unease away. I dragged myself off the bed and into the bathroom. Thankfully, Ascalon provided each student with a private one.

After finishing, I stepped out, and roughly dried my hair. Tossing the towel aside, I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over me. It was better not to dwell on it; with classes starting early in the morning, I couldn’t afford to stay up late.

As my eyelids slowly closed, I could briefly hear the faint ticking of a clock reach my ears. 

Strange. I don’t remember there ever being a clock in this room, yet the sound persisted—steadily, faintly—until eventually, the darkness consumed me.

…

I was standing in a long, empty hallway. One glance was enough to tell I was inside the Academy. I didn’t question why I was there; I couldn’t. My body began moving on its own accord, carrying me down the hall before I could think.

It was eerily quiet the entire way, with no sign of any other students or faculty members. The only sound was my footsteps echoing against the marble floor. I eventually stopped in front of a classroom. 

My hand reached forward and pushed the door open. Like the halls, the classroom was completely empty, only rows of vacant desks stretching out before me.

However, there was one desk that stood out to me from the rest. There was no apparent rhythm or reason, but my body carried me over anyway. There was nothing special about the desk, it was exact like all the others.

The door creaked. 

A shadowy figure of a student stepped inside. I couldn’t make out his face—not because it was hidden, but because he didn’t have one. He ignored me entirely, phasing through my body as he moved toward the desk. He slid into the chair as though he had always belonged there.

A strange sense of familiarity stirred in me, though I couldn’t place why.

I watched as more shadowy figures of students began to pour into the room, filling the previously empty space.

It continued until the scene before me resembled a real classroom, the shadowy figures talking and laughing among themselves, their hollow voices weaving together into a low, eerie murmur that threaded into my mind.

As the room became completely filled, I noticed a void surrounding the figure seated at the scarred desk. No one sat beside him, nor did anyone speak to him.

They acted as if he didn’t exist at all.

Then, something happened and the atmosphere changed. A few students glanced in his direction, then leaned toward one another, whispering. Hands rose to cover their mouths. 

What started as quiet snickers quickly grew louder, until they no longer bothered to hide it.

The figure in front of me continued to sit perfectly still, acting as if everything were normal. Though I still couldn’t see his face, I could tell he had long since grown used to it. He didn’t react or flinch, perhaps he knew that if he had, it would only have gotten worse.

‘What must someone endure to end up like this?’

Maybe it’s human nature to find satisfaction in another’s downfall, or maybe it’s just a part of us, buried deep within. I wondered why it was so easy for people to take joy in the suffering of others—it was a side of humanity I didn’t want to understand, and perhaps I never will.

The room began to crumble, with the walls dissolving into shadows around me. When the darkness cleared, I found myself back on the Academy campus.

The shadowy figure from earlier was here too, and I trailed silently behind him.

Wherever we went, the contempt and venomous whispers of other faceless shadows followed, weaving together into a never-ending, discordant symphony.

We eventually stopped as the voices swelled, all of them directed at the figure ahead of me. Time passed, but they didn’t fade. Instead, I slowly began to feel them turning—until I realized they were no longer aimed at him alone, but at me as well.

When I looked up, he had vanished, and suddenly, I was alone.

A suffocating grip closed around my heart as the numerous voices came crashing down, solely directed towards me. Just when I thought I was going to be crushed, a cold, hollow voice cut through the air.

“Do you think it’s worth saving such people?”

I snapped my head toward the sound—and came face to face with… me. By this point, I wasn’t shocked or surprised. I simply stared into the eyes of whatever that ‘thing’ is. 

Around us, the surroundings changed once more. This time, the Academy was twisted into a scene of destruction and carnage, while the whispers and murmurs became terrifying cries of desperation.

Countless shadowy figures crawled across the ground toward me, clawing at my legs, their grips frantic and trembling, begging.

“P‑please… I don’t want to die! S‑save me!”

Even though these were the same people who had cursed and mocked me earlier, seeing them like this—broken and begging, left me with a sick, conflicted feeling.

They were despicable—no doubt about it, but did that really mean they deserved to die? I wasn’t some judge or god, handing out judgment. Still, that question lingered in my mind, tempting me like sweet nectar tainted with something foul.

So, I chose to ignore it.

I looked at the ‘me’ standing before me and finally spoke,

“How should I know? Why are you even asking me that? Matter of fact… I should be asking you—who exactly are you?”

The hollow and chilling voice answered.

“You're still too ignorant to understand anything.”

He didn’t bother answering any of my questions—not that I expected him to. Without a sound, the figure began to dissolve into the air, fading away like smoke until nothing remained.

This time, I was truly alone. I looked down at the masses crawling at my feet. They no longer resembled anything human, their features warping and stretching in ways that defied nature. The cries had morphed into guttural sounds, no longer human voices but something closer to animalistic wails. 

I tried to push them off to no avail. They only kept clawing upwards, threatening to pull me down into them, that pit of agony. With every touch, I could feel it—their emotions, their anger, towards me.

What kind of expression was on my face right now? I didn’t even know how much time had passed, and I was starting to wonder if I would ever wake up from this nightmare. 

Everything began to blur, as I lost all sense of reality. It was like I was dragged through a fine mesh sieve, my thoughts began to fracture into a thousand parts.

‘Why is this happening?’

I couldn’t think straight anymore. My body felt heavy, my mind exhausted.

‘Can’t everything just stop already?’

Just as my mind reached its breaking point, something inside snapped. The world went silent. No more hands, no more screams, and no more figures. There existed only a pair of soft hands that cupped my face, and a familiar voice reached me:

“Everything’s going to be okay… shh. Look at me. I’m here. Forget all of that, just focus on me.”

My body trembled at the sound of her voice. I didn’t know how or why she was here, but I looked up nonetheless.

“M-Mom…?”

She was standing right in front of me. Her long, ink-black hair fell around her shoulders, and a soft, tender smile played across her face. One hand lifted to gently cup my cheek, her touch warm and grounding against my trembling skin.

Instantly, my heartbeat started to calm, any lingering thoughts slowly disappeared along with it also. For a fleeting moment, it was quiet—oddly peaceful.

I opened my mouth, desperate to ask why she was here, to tell her how much I missed her and ask how she was doing. But before all that could happen—

…

A grand bell rang out, echoing through my room.

“Urgh…”

A wave of dizziness hit me all at once. I hadn’t managed to get a single ounce of good sleep—no thanks to the dream I’d just had. Strangely, I couldn’t remember the details of what had happened. Only that something good appeared toward the end.

I sat there on my bed for a moment, staring into nothing in particular. Even though it had been a nightmare, a part of me wished I was still dreaming.

‘Ah… what the hell am I even thinking right now?’

Running a hand through my face, I swung my legs off the bed and made my way to the bathroom.

Inside, I turned on the sink before splashing cold water onto my face and stared at my reflection. My eyes were bloodshot, faint dark circles hanging beneath them—but oddly enough, I didn’t feel tired.

In fact, I felt better than I had since arriving at Ascalon. The numbness that had plagued me all of yesterday was completely gone.

A groan escaped my lips as I changed into my uniform. I took one last look at my room before finally stepping out the door.

Along the way, I ended up bumping into Kaelon as I headed toward my first class of the day.

“Oh, what’s up, Caelith—how are you doing… What the hell happened to you?”

“Hm? Oh, don’t worry, it’s nothing. I’m fine,” I said, trying to reassure Kaelon as I stifled a yawn.

He raised a questioning eyebrow at my response.

“Fine? You look like you haven’t slept at all. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“What are you? My mom now?” I retorted snarkily.

“And why would I want a son who looks like he crawled out of a swamp?”

 Kaelon let out an exacerbated snort, “Apparently you’re well enough to talk back at least.”