CHAPTER 50
Did she really have to spell it out for him? “What about when you get tired of doing all this for him?” And what about when you get tired of me? “Buying a Maserati because Zion wants it. Dreaming up a job for him. In a few weeks or even months, if you get bored with the whole thing, where will that leave Zion? Out in the cold. He’s not going to understand. I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve dated men who befriend him. Then they’re gone. And I don’t want to see Zion get hurt like that again.”
“I’ve already told you this, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me—I’m not going to hurt your
brother. I promise.”
“Right.” She was on a roll and couldn’t seem to stop. “And I’m just supposed to take your word on
that.”
Something changed in him then. After she’d freaked out, he’d been on the defensive, trying to
explain himself, trying to get her to understand that he’d meant no harm. But now, it looked like
she’d managed to wound him.
“My word means everything. I do not break it.” He held her gaze. “I’m not like the men you’ve
dated, Nathalie. And don’t forget, I met Zion first, not you. He wrote to me. I liked what I read. So
what’s between you and me has nothing to do with him.” Darius held up his hands. “You’re right
that I should have talked to you first. But I wouldn’t have given him the job if I didn’t think it
would be something new and different for him to try. He can stretch himself. He might even be fine
for a few hours by himself. You’ve got to see that he’s capable of pushing himself to do more. Is
there something you’re afraid of, Nathalie? Something I haven’t figured out yet? You know your
brother a hell of a lot better than I do. What am I not seeing?”
He sounded so reasonable and his explanations so good. Which made her feel churlish on top of
everything else. He had a way of making her feel totally out of control, whether it was over Zion, or
on the hood of his car, or while practically naked on her living room sofa.
Honestly, at this point, she wasn’t sure there was much Darius wasn’t seeing. Not when it
sometimes felt as though his dark eyes could see all the way through every wall she’d built up.
Finally, she told him, “I’m just afraid of seeing Zion hurt.”
And yet she hadn’t been there to rescue her brother today. Darius had done that. And then he’d
come up with a solution. One that she knew she had to consider, especially if there was a chance
that what he offered might truly be the best thing for Zion.
Nathalie had always been afraid change wasn’t good for her brother. But what if she was wrong
about what Zion needed? And what if the problem was more that she wasn’t fond of change herself?
Especially after all that had happened in the wake of his accident and then their parents’ deaths.
She worked to swallow the emotions threatening to rise up in her throat and strangle her. And as her
head of steam finally began to peter out, she realized the injustice of what she’d been saying. Darius
had only ever been good to Zion. He was endlessly patient as he showed her brother how to do each
new task on the car. He was never short with him on Skype. He was always considerate of his
feelings. And he was the one who’d discovered the problem at the store.
That was why she’d gone off on him. Not just because he’d screwed up by not checking with her
first about the new job, but because she was so damned guilty over her own failures. It was
humbling to realize she needed to put her own ego aside—the decision had to be about what was
best for Zion, nothing else.
“I might have been a bit hasty just now,” she admitted. “You’re right that a new job might be good
for him. And that it might expand his horizons.” But she’d still ask if Jeremy wanted the job as
badly as Darius needed to give it to him.
“It might be good for you, too, Nathalie.” He came close again, his body heat enveloping her.
Cupping her face in his hands, he held her steady, captured her with that dark, commanding gaze.
Mesmerized her. “Your brother has you to protect him. But who looks out for you?”
“I do.” But she honestly didn’t know if she was any better at that than she was at taking care of
Zion.
“Let me help.” His voice was just short of a whisper.
She felt herself weakening, bending, needing, longing. But if she allowed Darius to take over even a
little, what if she lost herself completely?
And then, when he was gone, what if she couldn’t manage to find her way back?
“You’re doing enough already for Zion,” she said softly. She had to draw on the iron will she’d
developed over the past few years to force herself to step out of his arms. “Thank you for picking
him up and feeding both of us. Thanks for cleaning up my house, too. You went above and beyond
tonight, Darius, and I appreciate it. But it’s been a long day, so...”
He stared at her for a long moment, one where she got the sense he was trying to decide between
kissing her—or letting her kick him out again. She knew it was bad that she was secretly hoping for
the former...and that she was so disappointed when he chose the latter.
“Say good-night to Zion for me.”
“I will.”
“You won’t be coming to work on the car this weekend, will you?”
How could she when she desperately needed to take a long, hard look at what she was doing?
Because it was one thing to tell herself she was having a fun, sexy affair—and that she deserved to
have something so delicious for once in her life. But it was another thing entirely to watch how
easily Darius could take over if she wasn’t careful. Especially when the only thing that had held
Nathalie and Zion together for the past several years had been her tight grip on their lives.
“I think it would be best if we skipped this weekend.”
Darius eyes were as dark and intense as she’d ever seen them. Full of disappointment, and
something that looked like regret, too. “I know I screwed up,” he said softly, “and I’ll do whatever
it takes to make it up to you.”
Before her conflicted brain could even try to think of a reply, he was gone.
Darius didn’t blame Nathalie for pulling back to reassess things—he had completely screwed up by
forgetting that she was the boss when it came to her brother. Darius might be able to make
suggestions, but he’d never again make the mistake of taking decisions out of Nathalie’s hands. She
was too strong, too smart, for that kind of behavior. He knew he had a lot to prove, and a lot of
ground to make up, but he wasn’t giving up.
They quickly established a routine over the next few days. His driver Ben picked up Zion from
school, and Darius drove him home. Fortunately, Nathalie’s brother loved his new job and he also loved the people he worked with. Darius checked several times each day to make sure his
employees were treating Zion right. He’d promised Nathalie he wouldn’t let anything hurt her
brother, and he would die before he broke that vow.
The first night, Nathalie thanked him for bringing Jeremy home—and then shut and locked the
door.
The second night, he brought takeout and made sure the bags he was holding at her front door
smelled so good that it would be really hard for her stomach, at least, to turn him away. She’d been
quiet as they ate together in her kitchen that night, mostly letting him and Zion do the talking, but
even if it was just a baby step, at least it was one in the right direction.
The third night, while they were eating another takeout meal, he wanted to tell her that she and Zion
filled up all his empty places. He wanted her to know that he’d drop anything at a moment’s notice
when one of them called. He wished he could tell her that taking care of them had grown into a
need inside him, on a deeper level even than the bond he had with his fellow Baddricks. His friends
—his brothers—weren’t kids anymore, and they hadn’t needed anyone to fight their battles in years.
But Zion and Nathalie needed him.
Although sometimes he felt like he needed them even more.
By Thursday night, he couldn’t stand it any longer and asked her if he could take her out again. She
told him she needed to think about it, and he wasn’t sure he managed a full breath all the way
through until Friday night, when he brought Zion home from work again...
...and she finally said yes.
Darius couldn’t remember a time he’d ever been happier, or more relieved, in his life.
Now, with Mrs. Oswald watching Zion at home, Darius had Nathalie sitting beside him in his ’57
Chevy. Though she was still too quiet, he was content just to be with her. To let her delicious scent
wash over him, cleanse him, make him new.
Of course, when he saw an overlook along Skyline Boulevard with a great view, he couldn’t resist
pushing for more. Because he couldn’t resist her. She was gorgeous in the moonlight. Stars sparkled
in her eyes, and the full moon made her skin glow. There was no wind deflector in the mammoth
Chevy and her hair was a mass of sexy tangles.
“Let’s park,” he said after he’d stopped the car, tugging her gently over to his side of the bench seat.
Thankfully she didn’t tense up, but he remained on tenterhooks waiting for it to happen. Waiting for
her to pull back. Because they hadn’t talked about what had happened last Thursday. He’d wanted
to give her time to process, and to forgive. But should he have pushed a little harder to make sure
there weren’t any lingering mistakes that he still needed to make right?
He’d never been afraid of pushing anyone before. But with Nathalie, everything was different.
Because he was terrified of losing her.
“Nathalie.” He wanted so badly to reach for her. “Are we good again? Like before? Or are you still
upset with me for overstepping my bounds with your brother?”
She looked a little surprised by his question, as if she hadn’t expected him to come right out and
ask. But also, relieved.
Had she been wanting to clear the air, too?
“To be honest,” she said slowly, “those first couple of days, I didn’t know exactly how I was
feeling. Still a little mad. Still a little guilty. But more and more, as Jeremy came home happier
every day, I was able to see just how right you were. He needed this change, needed to get out of
that grocery store. I wish I’d been able to see it—”
“You’re the best sister in the world. You do so much for him. You can’t beat yourself up about this.”
“But I did.” She took a deep breath. “And now...now I think I’m finally ready to let it go.” She
looked him in the eyes and held his gaze. “And I’m finally ready to let go again, too.”
She reached for his hand, and the act felt huge. Bigger even than a kiss might have.
“Being with you, being wild and free for a little while—it made me happy, Darius. Whereas when I
was holding you at bay this week?” She frowned. “I wasn’t as happy anymore. Wasn’t as free.” She
threaded her fingers through his. “I’m ready to be free again. Ready to fly fast with you, if you still
want me.”
“If I still want you?” He didn’t even try to keep the incredulous tone from his voice. “All I do all
day long, all night long, is want you, Nathalie.”
The smile she gave him was so beautiful, it nearly knocked his heart from his chest. “I want you,
too, Darius. Just that badly. Only...”
“Anything you want, anything you need, just tell me what it is and I’ll make it happen.” This was
the first real, meaningful relationship he’d ever had with a woman. Whatever Nathalie needed, he’d
give it to her, come hell or high water.
She bit her lip, then let the damp flesh go to say, “You can’t make what I want happen tonight,
Darius. Only I can. Every time we’re together, I completely lose control. But you’re always so
steady. I need to know...” She paused for a moment as if she was deciding whether to finish her
sentence or not, and he held his breath until she said, “Tonight I need to know if I can make you as
crazy as you make me.”
“Crazier, Nathalie. A thousand times over.”
“Let me see it.” She leaned forward and whispered against his lips, “I need to see it.”
“I’m yours.” He now knew that he had been from the first moment he’d set eyes on her. “All
yours.”
She looked up at him in surprise, as though she hadn’t actually expected him to agree to give up his
control tonight. And she was right that there was almost no one he would consider doing that with.
But she was different. She was special. And he trusted her in a way he didn’t trust anyone else.
“Come closer,” she said softly.
He immediately moved across the seat. When Nathalie straddled him, her dress billowing down
around them, he couldn’t remember ever being happier. She’d forgiven him and she wanted to make
love with him until he lost his mind.
Was there a luckier guy on the planet?
Summer was just around the corner and a warm breeze rippled through her hair. Stars lit up the sky
around her as he thought, I want you, Nathalie. I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone else. I
want you more than I can remember ever wanting anyone or anything before in my life.
He opened his mouth to say the words, but she stole them away. Cupping his face, she kissed him as
if she were making love to his mouth, licking him, taking his tongue. Her whole body got into the
kiss, swaying and moving on his, her breasts caressing him, her legs tightening along his thighs.
He’d always been the one in control, not just with her, but with all women. He’d always set the pace
and the tone, decided where the night began and ended. Even when Nathalie had kissed him in the
garage, he’d taken over, pushing her down on the hood, using his mouth on her because he’d been
desperate to taste her. To have her.
Yet now that she was the one controlling his reins, she wasn’t rushed. Not at all. Even though he
could hardly remember his own name.
“You taste so good,” she murmured against his lips. “I wonder how you taste all over.” She leaned
back to work the buttons of his shirt. When his chest was naked to her touch, and she ran her fingers
down his skin, he actually felt a quiver deep in his gut. A part of him worried that she’d want to
strip his shirt away completely, and that she’d finally see his tattoo, but even that worry could
hardly take hold when she was touching him like this, kissing him like this.
“You have such a magnificent chest.” Curling her body, she bent to his nipple. She licked him,
sucked him, then bit down lightly. “You like this as much as I do, don’t you?” She hummed with
pleasure against his chest, the vibrations sending shockwaves through him.
