Chapter 37

A little while later, we were back in my car and headed downtown. We parked on a public lot and then headed over towards the boardwalk. There were a couple of dives and clubs we frequented there. I didn't feel much like dancing and if I let myself admit it, I really wanted to be rid of Allyson and Bretlynn.

The four of us stopped at a place that had a deck off the back. Allyson went to the bar and brought drinks for the three who were drinking. Our two companions were already pretty loose; McKayla was uncharacteristically quiet.

We talked for a while and then guys started showing up to hit on us. It was a familiar pattern. Allyson and Bretlynn reveled in the attention. McKayla and I politely waved off all but the most persistent ones; those we shot down mercilessly. After a few minutes, the pair disappeared with a couple of guys to the dance area in front of the band.

That left McKayla and I sitting at the table in one corner of the deck. The silence between us was deafening. Neither of us wanted to start the conversation.

McKayla stared off into the distance. A warm sea breeze blew in.

"She wasn't my girlfriend," McKayla said softly. Almost apologetically. I could barely hear her above the music and the chatter. "We just went out a couple of times."

"No chemistry?" I asked. There were butterflies in my stomach.

The other girl shifted uncomfortably. "There was lots of chemistry."

"So what happened?"

There was a long pause. McKayla looked down for just a second, then let out a bitter sigh. "The same thing that happens every time: my head keeps getting stuck up my ass."

I didn't know what to say. I don't know why, but I reached across the table and took her hand. She was trembling. McKayla looked up at me for the first time that night and tried to smile.

Something I had never seen before was in her eyes. Fear.

"Why?" I whispered.

"I don't know," she said, her frustration evident.

"Afraid of being hurt?"

"I think I'm afraid of being happy."

My hand squeezed hers gently.

She wiped her eyes. "It seems like every time things start to go my way, something comes along and kicks me right in the ass."

This was the first time she had ever opened up to me like this. Her self-assured persona was gone, wiped away for just a brief moment. I didn't know what to say.

"Listen," she said, taking a deep breath. In an instant, she blinked back her tears and covered up her vulnerability. "I'm sorry for bringing you down like this ... I'm going to catch a cab home."

McKayla grabbed her purse and started for the stairs at the end of the deck. Impulsively, my hand reached for hers. I pulled so she was facing me.

"Would you like to go out sometime?" The words were out of my mouth before I knew I had said them.

It seemed like forever before she answered. She looked into my eyes and smiled. "How about next Friday?"

"I was thinking tomorrow." My stomach churned. I had just asked another girl out. What the hell was I thinking?

"I'd like that," she said. There was relief in her eyes. "I'll pick you up at five. We'll go some place casual."

"Okay," was all I managed to reply.

She squeezed my hand, then turned and quickly walked away.